Breast exam triggering

[FeelingAllMixedUp]

I have name changed because this post is something I want to talk about but I don't want it linked with my usual name.
A few weeks ago I had a breast exam by a doctor. It was my first one. Nothing untoward happened but I am a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a more recent sexual assault. I don't feel able to speak about what happened so please don't suggest I do. I know I should but I just don't feel able to yet. The exam seems to have triggered something in me and its left me feeling really horrible.
Would it be unreasonable to suggest a tick box for being a victim of abuse on the consent form? Just a yes or no,no further questions asked,just a bit of understanding that some people might find it upsetting.

That sounds like a good idea.
Would you feel up to sending a letter to the surgery to suggest it? They might be interested in how they can improve a patient's experience.

I would be afraid they would just think I'm being silly.

I really don't think they will go for this. I think its a very intrusive exam and can be very, very uncomfortable making but they are trained to do them and to treat every patient with an equal amount of respect and empathy.

Do they offer a chaperone for breast exams? I know they do for smears at my doctor. Would a chaperone have made you feel better?

Feeling im sorry you experienced that, and im sorry that you found the examination triggering. I like the suggestion to write to the surgery, you could send it anonymously? If you ever feel at all able to talk, rape crisis will listen. Even if its just to say "i was assaulted and its affecting my day to day life" with no specifics, they will listen. Im a survivor of rape and marital sexual abuse. I understand. They will still be there if and when you ever want to talk. My rape was 10 years ago, and i spoke to them finally lasy year. They can provide information on flashbacks which is very good, i think its available online so you dont have to takj to anyone.

I sympathise but have reservations.

Not all women will wish to tick the box. So do they get treated differently?

Tbh I think everyone should be treated the same, same level of respect and dignity. If something falls short of this it needs a complaint regardless of your past history

If you have been triggered I suspect you need help beyond what the medical professional involved in your specific breast health issue is.

It was the touching and feeling of it,there was a chaperone a nurse there.Nothing about it was unprofessional and I understand that they treat each patient with empathy and respect but I can't help how I feel.

Is there anything specific that you think they could have done to make you feel more comfortable? I think that it's worth bringing up if you have any ideas of what would make it easier for people in your position, but I assume they extend the same courtesy and attempts at retaining dignity for all patients, so it might be hard for them to work out what they could do differently.

IfMaybe just so they understand that something very unsexual and medical can trigger someone. Its put me off ever getting another one and I am always the first one to say about getting any lumps or changes looked at.

Knowing I could say stop and that would be it until I felt ready to continue I think would help.

Would CBT or similar be beneficial, the exam needs to be done but perhaps your gp could refer you so it's less triggering.

The advice now is for women to examine their own breasts as they will get to know how they feel and notice any changes. The only time I would examine them is if they are worried about something.

I don't think your tick box idea would work. For a start, what one person deems to be abuse might not be another's and being a victim of abuse and therefore ticking the box does not necessarily mean that you will find a medical examination difficult.

Also many people do not want to disclose abuse in any way or may not even recognise that they were abused.

It sounds like from your own account of the exam that it was completely professional and a chaperone was also present. You did not feel it was abusive in any way but it triggered painful memories of abuse.

It is psychological help that you very understandably need in the form of trauma counselling - not a revision of necessary and professionally conducted medical procedures.

You could (and maybe should) mention it to your GP though and tell them how they could perhaps avoid or adapt things for you.

I think that would be worth mentioning - of course anyone can say stop at any time during any medical procedure (within reason!) but it cant hurt to remind people of that before you begin. I think this is something that many people with a range of different backgrounds could find useful to hear so if you contact the practice then you wouldn't even have to mention your specific circumstances if you didn't want to.

im very sorry for what you have experienced. i do understand you don't feel able to talk about it.

seeing as you did have a chaparone and the exam was carried out professionally im not sure what difference a ticked box would have made to you. they can't perform the exam in any less an intrusive manner.

Feeling. I feel a bit helpless to offer you anything. It does sound as if you need to have professional help to work through what this has stirred up.

Fwiw if you had said please stop I'm finding this difficult I don't think for a minute they wouldn't have done so. A tick on a form wouldn't change that. You can say that. You don't need a tick.

I have done intimate exams and was always aware that people had past experiences that made the exam difficult for them. I was very sensitive to that and would try and follow any cues given. Is there a reason you felt unable to say this to them in particular. You say you fear them thinking you wre being silly.

I never would have

It was never said that I could say stop and I do think that would have made a difference. I do my own exams and found something I wanted to get checked. Yes I probably do need some sort of therapy but just not yet.

I am so sorry the exam has made you feel worse and hope you can recover from the experience quickly

As to how to prevent this from happening - I am not sure.
Many abuse survivors will not want to declare their past experiences and how that is affecting them now.
Not in every situation will there be a formal consent form - 'implied' consent and verbal consent can be acceptable.
Most people (like yourself) who found something that worried them, made the appointment, turned up, told the dr (or whoever) what concerned them, agreed to an exam, took whatever clothes off to allow for an appropriate examination etc etc will in their own mind have consented to be examined.
The feelings or thoughts of flashbacks this mind trigger in somebody who has had awful experiences previously are so much less predictable.

I agree with PP that when you feel you can seeking experienced therapy may help you rather a lot to not have your past experiences jump up and upset you.

Do you think you will feed this back to the surgery? Or even just to the person who saw you?

Fwiw, I will take from this thread to actually verbalise that people should always tell me to stop if they need me to stop for whatever reason.

feeling I get what you're saying. It's not that the exam should be carried out differently. It's about the doctor having the knowledge of what you've been through so that if you did ask them to stop they would at least understand why, and be able to deal with it in a sensitive manner.
I still think your suggestion is a good idea and I don't think they would think you were silly.