To get annoyed when friends do this?

[polychips]

I seem to have so many friends that talk on and on about themselves and tell lots of lengthy stories, when I can't get a word in edgeways, but the second I start to say anything you can see their eyes glaze over and they just don't listen?

One friend of mine talks loads, but the minute I talk she then suddenly decides to tickle her toddler, or to pick something up off the floor, or to check her phone.

What is the best way to deal with this type of person?

Maybe do the same when they are regaling their lengthy tales?

Stop spending time with them. Sorry, they're selfish people and have got used to you being there for their convenience, never the other way around.

What are you getting out of the friendship? If it's nothing, then dump her. You're meant to enjoy spending time with a friend (barring times of crisis).

I've lost it with a close friend of mine over this reason. For christ's sake - when I returned her call the day after my baby was born, after a one line congratulations she again flipped back to herself & her domestic challenge of the moment!! Didn't call her ever since!

I bumped into another friend this afternoon on the school run and she had a huge long tale to tell me about her stressful day. I listened, then told her about my day and I could visibly see her glaze over and that she wasn't listening.

This is why I have dropped many of my so called 'friends'. Quality is far more important than quantity even if that means I have only 1 proper friend.

At the moment I feel like distancing myself from all my friends tbh as I don't think I get much respect.

I sent one friend a text today to ask her how she'd got on with something she'd been going on about. The response I got was "Why?????". I didn't reply to that. I was only being nice.

Poly, you need to learn how to shut those rude people up.
Glaze over yourself when they start up, and announce loudly: "oh, no change then, good" and get ready to get whatever you want off your chest.

Or just walk away, saying "yeah, yeah, I know, I know....." And tickle your own toddler. Or just drop them.

I met a woman the other day at a funeral who the last time she met me, (at her granddaughters 6 th birthday party) pinned me down and told me in hoary detail about every medical symptom she had had for the last 60 years.

When I met her this time I didn't ask her how she was, on purpose, and when she just started up about her osteoporosis or whatever, I said, "Oh dear, poor you", and walked away to talk with someone who's a bit more fun iykwim.

I felt very rude doing that, but thinking about it she is the rude one droning on and on about herself. Doesn't she know funerals are for catching up on the salacious gossip, not discussing her medical symptoms and feelings of malaise?!

You have to fight for your rights to paaar-ty!

I know a lot of people can be like this at times, but the girlfriend of an old friend takes the biscuit. Whatever anyone has done, she did it first or better, or it wasn't worth doing in the first place. She's made it clear that I'm not worth listening to, so I don't bother her by even saying hello now.

As I've got older I feel I don't like most people very much. I have lots of superficial friends and very few, around 2 or 3, real friends who I genuinely like, respect and trust.

Two kinds of people, those who wait to talk and those who listen. I hate when they glaze over after monopolizing the conversation going on about themselves.

Most people seem to glaze over when I talk so I'm thinking I must be very boring.

I'm getting to agree with box. Yes, avoid whenever possible. I have one of these I can't avoid too much as she is my sister

Another thing which bugs me with my friends is if two of my friends are talking and I walk over at school collection then it's made plain that they're talking and that it's a conversation between the two of them. If I am ever talking to someone and a third person walks over then they are welcomed into the conversation happily.

Polychips, you sound really nice but sadly your "friends" do not. I think you need to have a spring clean of your friendship circle.

Thank you pilates.

I think you are right but I don't think I will actually have any friends left if I spring clean all the ones that I don't feel treat me decently.

I don't want people to think that I'm hard work or really demanding but some friends just don't seem to realise that their behaviour is hurtful towards me.

I wonder if these people who only want to talk about themselves (and there's a lot) realise how bloody boring they are. I know so many like that, they're so self centred, you can just tell they're not interested in anything you have to say, and think their lives are so interesting everyone wants to hear all the boring details. Boring ignorant sods.

I agree with others, these are not equal friendships.. You deserve better friends and they ARE out there.. These women sound so rude! You are there as their sounding board.. It's not personal though, it's their flaw.
I've known two people like this.. One was someone I wasn't close to- she'd talk away, I'd give my response, then midway through me talking she would start going on about something else like I wasn't there It was all about her, she knew nothing of my life. She made me feel so insignificant. I just backed off as that's who she was.

The other friend was a good mate.. For a few months she started doing the same as above. I sat her down and told her, she was horrifed and never did it again.

So either have a chat or back away.. Don't just put up with it, it's demoralising.

It's rude, either tell them or drop them and if they ask why you are avoiding them be blunt.

Next time this happens to you, go competely silent, do not respond or nod or anything. If she walks off or is distracted stay where you are, look at your phone or pick up a magazine. Trust me after a minute or so the silence will be deafening. When she looks at you quizzically pick up the conversation from where you were cut off as if she never even spoke. I do this to my sil and mil. They quickly got the message. They still tend to talk over me or monopolise the conversation but then they quickly recover themselves after a few seconds of my blank as a factory wall face. :o

Polychips do you have a friend or more than one who is not like that? I think "squinkies* is correct and I can pretty much divide my friends into 2 categories - the ones who listen and the ones who wait to talk.

It's not that I don't like the talkers and I enjoy spending time with them on one level but I think this is mainly because I know that I also have one or two (that's plenty, I find) truly equal friendships. I chat to my closest friend most days - either on the phone or through messages - and I never feel like she doesn't give me time to share my stories. Sometimes she will do most of the talking, sometimes I will, but it never feels one-sided. I appreciate all of my friends but I know which ones I would turn to in a crisis or emergency.

Slight tangent - why is it that some people are listened to no matter how much they witter on? I always seem to get interrupted and wonder what their secret is.

Yes with some people I call myself the 'ear' when they want to rehash something over and over but if I do the same they have to 'go'. One also only calls when a school holiday is coming up and she thinks I'll offer to take her ds somewhere as I work part time.

Be civil but cut them off. You are a sounding board and nothing else!

Respect YourMa
you play hardball!

One of my colleagues does this. Goes on and on and on about her life and never even asks anyone else a simple 'How are you?'

Sometimes I have to cut to 'So how was it left, in the end?' Or 'sorry to interrupt but that reminds me'.