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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to post this note through neighbours door

24 replies

Pinkpercy22 · 05/03/2015 00:33

I have a thread on here regarding neighbour claiming i didn't give his parcel.
Tomorrow morning im going to leave him a note saying
"I already gave you your parcel on saturday of cat litter which you said was for your black n white cat. Please do not disturb me again for this, thank you"

Is this unreasonable if he doesnt answer the door?

btw i didn't mean people with MH steal parcels i just said it because i asked on Yahoo answers and people replied saying i must have MH and imagined it so thats why i added it in.
I actually do have aniexty issues due to going through DV so when people disturb me like this neighbour it stresses me out to the point i cannot sleep (like now) and it goes over in my head.
I really hate people talking about me so thats why him informing the woman upstairs upset me.
Sorry if i offended and thanks for answers.

OP posts:
CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 05/03/2015 00:39

Sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. I don't fully follow your post but I wouldn't leave a note, I'd just leave it all be

CaptainAnkles · 05/03/2015 05:47

'The delivery note you've found referred to the cat litter, which you collected on (x date). I do not have any other packages for you and will not be signing for anything else that's not mine in the future.'

DoJo · 05/03/2015 07:26

Has he actually been aggressive about this or it is just your upstairs neighbour causing trouble? Because your note is a little abrupt, and if he has just got confused, it may be easier just to say:

'I think there was some confusion over your parcel - the cat litter was the only delivery that I took in for you.'

That's factual but a bit less likely to cause more trouble.

TheMoa · 05/03/2015 07:30

Would it not be easier to just answer the door?

You know who it is, and that he's just looking for a parcel after a mix up.

He won't murder you on the spot.

Teasugarcoffee · 05/03/2015 07:34

I like Captain 's note. I don't think you need to go into any detail or offer any explanation. I don't think you want to give your neighbour any chink to latch an argument or complaint on to.
I haven't read the other thread.

Rascalls3 · 05/03/2015 07:39

Agree with CaptainAnkles, although it would probably less confrontational to miss out the bit about not accepting any parcels in the future. It is probably just a misunderstanding especially if he is expecting other parcels.

Next time the postman knocks on your door just explain that you will only accept delivery of your own parcels.

So sorry this has caused you distress.

gamerchick · 05/03/2015 07:49

Have you actually spoke to the person who wants the parcel or are you reacting to what someone else has said to you?

Don't do anything until you know the score man.. Some people are troublemakers.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 05/03/2015 10:00

I read your post yesterday, but haven't read all the comments on it.

I think the note maybe has a little bit too much of an aggressive tone about it.

As others said on your other thread, he's probably seen the card after he picked up his parcel and thinks you have another one for him and after not being able to speak to you he's mentioned it to your other neighbour. I think your anxieties are making it into something a lot bigger than it is and if you speak to him face to face it'll all blow over.

I'm sure if you explained to him about why you don't answer the door if you're not expecting anyone, he would be really sympathetic.

TheRestofmylifeiswaiting · 05/03/2015 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 05/03/2015 10:03

Pink, I totally get your anxiety about being disturbed at home after DV. I get palpitations every time someone knocks on my door!

I think DoJo's note is better.

Sixgeese · 05/03/2015 10:18

I agree with Restofmy, if I received your note, I would think that you are unreasonable and being aggressive for no reason (and I get on with my neighbours)

Sometimes when my neighbours take in parcels for me, the delivery note has been knocked under the rug so I find it after I have received the parcel, and I have been on the point of popping around when I have noticed the date. It would be very easy to make a mistake.

EmptySoulKindHeart · 05/03/2015 11:19

do not disturb me is aggressive

Viviennemary · 05/03/2015 11:46

The neighbour won't know about your anxiety problems and will just put you down as a difficult neighbour. I'd take the humble approach and say sorry for the confusion about the parcels. I only took in the one parcel and that was the cat litter one. And then their can be no mistake about which parcel was which.

And no need to tell the neighbour you're not taking in parcels. Next time the postman asks you just say you'd rather parcels were left with somebody else.

SauvignonBlanche · 05/03/2015 12:04

Why not just talk to your neighbour?

Gruntfuttock · 05/03/2015 12:07

All this anxiety would have been prevented if you'd simply answered the door to him yesterday and sorted it out there and then.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 05/03/2015 12:21

Can't find the other thread. Maybe he fancies you and it's the teenies equivalent of asking to borrow some sugar like the Nescafe adverts? Grin

Captain or Dojo's responses are perfect

SauvignonBlanche · 05/03/2015 12:25

Other thread here.

Gruntfuttock · 05/03/2015 12:29

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams "Can't find the other thread"

It's here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2323482-Neighbour-saying-i-didnt-give-him-a-parcel. I think to start two threads on AIBU about something that could have been resolved so quickly and easily by opening the door when he rang the bell and talking to him, is a bit ridiculous. If you suffer from anxiety you're just making it worse by refusing to answer the door and prolonging and complicating the issue which was such a very simple one.

Gruntfuttock · 05/03/2015 12:30

Cross-posted with Sauvignon

NerrSnerr · 05/03/2015 12:38

So basically he got his cat litter, found the delivery note so thinks there's another parcel, has come to yours to get the parcel he thinks he has but you haven't answered the door and you want to send him an aggressive note?

Just answer the door to him or pop over and knock on his door. Tell him in person there is no other parcel and then it's sorted and you can stop worrying. We do this all the time with delivery note (my husband and I both went to collect the same parcel twice the other month as we got confused with delivery cards).

LadyRainicorn · 05/03/2015 13:16

I know AIBU is a harsh and unforgiving place but at least try and imagine that you've fled DV and there is a real possibility that a banging on the door is a scary man who has hurt you before? Is that really so hard for people to comprehend?

I would write the note just explaining that you have already given him all the parcels you have. No need to say you wowon't be taking any more, that's for you to decide when the postie speaks to you. Then when you go and knock you'll have everything ready.

Hissy · 05/03/2015 13:50

"I think there may have been some confusion, the delivery referred to in the card was the bag of cat litter i gave you on Saturday. Hope that clears things up, Kind regards, PinkPercy"

You have been through a lot, you are traumatised to a degree and it will take a while to get yourself to a point where you realise that not everyone is looking to hurt/harm you.

You need to sense check everything, for now. you would have been unreasonable to have put that note in his door, I'd have been mightily put out to get this note you were intending.

It will be ok love, you are safe now.

Have you got support etc? Woman's Aid, groups? mates?

Hissy · 05/03/2015 13:51

and FWIW, I could not even LOOK a man in the face, let alone talk to one or go and knock on his door....

it gets easier. I promise Flowers

Gruntfuttock · 05/03/2015 17:54

The OP hasn't returned to the thread, so I think she's already put the note through/on his door as she said she would in the first post.

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