to be unsure about pre-school birthday party?

[suddenlycupishalffull]

DS1 turns 4 in a few months and has been at pre-school since Sept. We moved into the area last summer and aside from chatting to little friends in the park, we still feel fairly new (so no playdates or anything) & no particularly strong friendships have formed yet (I'm not sure they do anyway at 3.5?!) But we've been invited to 5 birthday parties since Sept to which the whole class were invited. These have been very big affairs (older siblings coming along as well both parents normally so a lot of people in one room), normally in play centres, village halls etc which must have cost a small fortune with parents putting on party food, entertainment for the kids, party bags etc. Last year, we went for lunch to a pub with a park next to it with cousins (whom he adores but doesn't get to see very often so time with them is a real treat), godparents & grandparents and he loved it. But this year I'm feeling the pressure to do a whole class party, I've not asked him what he wants yet as I'm fairly sure he'll say he wants a class party simply because we've been to so many lately. Money is always tight for us so the cost of hosting so many children, their older siblings & parents is a bit intimidating, and to me feels unnecessary. Don't kids normally start forming proper bonds sort of 5 up rather than 3.5-4? But whole class parties do seem to be the culture of this school, so should I just suck it up and book the local village hall?!

The good thing about doing a class party early on is that you end up with all the parent's phone numbers and its then easier to arrange play dates/ ask about lost homework/ and all those little things that make school life a bit easier. Plus you don't offend people by inviting x but not y. And at that age the parents will stay which is a bit easier.

Picnic in the park sounds like a great idea if the weather's good for it - ask people to bring a plate with them, so everyone has something they like and you provide basic party "essentials" and a cake. I did picnic in the park for DS1 when he was very little, with a few friends from playgroup etc.

But for his last year before school, we did have a larger party - mostly of friends from both playgroups and a couple from pre-school but not many because I didn't know any of those parents - and had it at home.

In the end, don't feel pressured to spend money you can't afford - do what suits you and your family.

Do what you did last year, but send a cake into preschool too!