to refuse to appear in a photo which friend wanted to put on Facebook when we were out at an event today?

[Mintyy]

Just me being vain really. But am dog-tired, very depressed, not in the mood for FB updates about what a lovely time we're all having.

I don't put lots of photos up (although I don't generally mind FB) but we have lots of mutual friends and I just didn't fancy ropey pictures of me being shared.

Iabu aren't I?

No, I don't think YABU.

I might be slightly biased as I don't have a FB account and never have done.

But I think that it's your body and your face - if you don't want a pic taken and shared then that's fair enough and should be respected.

I actually don't think YABU at all, if you can object then it's absolutely fine to say that you'd rather not. A good friend won't mind at all, I put an old photo up of about 10 of my friends with me at a mutual friend's wedding. One girl emailed and asked me to take it down so I did, I have no idea why and she really did look lovely but obviously something upset her and it wasn't my place to ask, I just asked if she was ok.

Tell your friend you'd rather not, surely she can put something else up rather than a specific photograph with you on it? Hope you're feeling less down soon.

YANBU. During a period of depression last year, I drastically reduced my FB friend list for similar reasons. I just didn't want to be visible to anyone but genuine friends, yet I didn't want to stop recording the nicer things in life on there.

I totally understand where you're coming from but over sharers possibly won't.

Thanks Blink. I actually refused to be photographed. I felt like I might be putting a dampener on her day because she clearly wanted to share that we were at this event, but she could have taken a photo of her and the others who were there. Infact I could have taken it for her!

YANBU - not at all.

No YANBU at all

I dodge photo opportunities every chance I can

YANBU. I've asked people to take them down because they weren't flattering I don't think you just post photos of other people if they don't want them on.

Yanbu. I've got photophobia (facially challenged lol) and my heart sinks when I'm having a great night with my photogenic friends and the cameras come out. They know I don't like it and ask before putting me on Facebook. I usually say no.

You sound like a riot

Oh no, yanbu.
Not even my mum has ANY pictures of me as an adult.

I am old & fat, I do not need reminding of this in public so point blank refuse to have my picture taken.

It makes me very very uncomfortable.
I'm not being a diva or attention seeking, genuinely it makes me feel sick & actively duck away from camera phones.

Of course yanbu.

"I don't think you just post photos of other people if they don't want them on."

You have absolutely no say whatsoever legally.

There is a setting on Facebook where people can tag you in photos but you have to either accept or decline before they can be shared on your timeline. I use that setting, although that doesn't stop their friends seeing the photo if they post it and any mutual friends seeing it. I would have declined to be photographed too, anyone close to me knows NOT to put photos of me on facebook without asking me first.

No you're not being unreasonable at all

Well you're being 100 x more vain than I would be but if you don't want to be in a photo you shouldn't have to be so YANBU.

How is it vain? I'm extremely far from vain and absolutely hate having my photo taken.

Oh god ignore that... Re read OP... I'm slow