To think is rude behaviour in a shared office?

[FreezingMyAssOff]

NC on the vague chance she's on here, as I do genuinely like this person, but also need to vent.

I share an office. It's in quite a windswept position and there are full-length doors for windows. Every time she comes in, no matter if anyone else is there, my office mate will go to open the door. She never asks. If you wait a little while and then ask her to close it, she will, but she never asks about opening it. And I am terribly British and don't like to say what I am thinking. Which, since January, has been: 'You crazy woman, it is bloody winter and it's freezing, why the fuck do you want the wind howling in'.

Would it not occur to you, in this situation, that if someone else is in the office and hasn't opened the window, it's probably because they don't want it open?!

Ahhhhh that is better. Now tell me how unreasonable I am being. Or tell me your workmates are worse. I'm sure they are.

YANBU at all.

She should ask.

Can you superglue the doors?

YANBU, it's freezing! Who on earth would open a door in this weather?

Tell her! You can do it politely "would you mind not opening the door when you come in, I get really cold, thanks!"said brightly, with a smile, is fine!

Oh, I like that, salmo, very creative. Maybe!

bar - I know right?!

I have tried that. She seemed to imagine it meant that specific day (in late January).

IMO there's nothing at all wrong with saying

'You crazy woman, it is bloody winter and it's freezing, why the fuck do you want the wind howling in'.

That said, why do you automatically get priority. If you're cold and she's hot, why is it your comfort that wins?

Perhaps talk to her? Why does she need the door open, how much does she need the door open, what compromise can be reached? If fact, pretty much the question in your OP!

Is she suffering from hot flushes?

Could you ask her in a head- Tilty way?

Yeah, I know, remind. I don't get priority, and the aforementioned Britishness is why I don't say it. I have to be honest: if I had a scrap of sensible response in me, I wouldn't be moaning on MN.

salmo - god, I hope not, she's early 30s!

And before anyone jumps on me for that - I get hot flushes and I wouldn't just go around opening windows willy nilly.

Not speaking up at all to someone you work with on a daily basis, goes beyond britishness IMO. I'm pretty reserved myself but I could have that conversation with someone I'm regularly sharing an office with.

YANBU. I don't think I'd be able to stop myself from a breezy "blimey it's cold in here isn't it?".

Or keep a hat, scarf & gloves in your desk drawer to pop on at the correct moment.

Oh, I'm not in every day! That would be incredibly annoying. We're not 9-5 either.

Can I lend you some Canadian-ness in the form of 'are you on glue - shut the MoFo door'.

Or move your desk so that you are in front of the door and tell her that you will move back in mid may when it is warm enough to actually open the MOFO windows.

I currently share an office with a uni student who is doing a one year placement with us. He is a nice chap, but has developed the habit of leaving his sports gear under his desk overnight and over the weekend, including an old pair of really smelly trainers. Think teenage boys bedroom mixed with gym changing room.

I am not kidding, the smell makes me want to gag. Every time someone comes into the office you can see them stop, sniff and frown, thinking 'what the hell is that pong!' I feel like I want to say 'it's not me, it's him!' but of course I can't. I wait until he's left the room and then spray air freshener all around, and particularly under his desk!

I have to decide which is worse - putting up with the smell, or opening a window and freezing.

So, no YANBU, but it could be worse!

And here I thought Canadians had a reputation for over-politeness too.

(sweet* - oh, yuck yuck yuck! That is much worse. You have my sympathy.

I have the opposite problem, working in an air conditioned office with consistent and appropriate temperatures. But some poor petals feel the cold, bless them, and instead of putting a cardigan on, persuade our maintenance men to turn up the temperature to sultry levels ( that make me drowsy and headachy). Grrrr

Yes, I've had this with two colleague in two different jobs. Both of them only cared about themselves.

I hate working in offices with people you would otherwise not spend time with.

I had to get a colleague move gym gear as it stank. I also got a scented candle much to everyone's amusement. It was just the two of us in the office.

It's not smelly now and we ask re heat / door / window. But omg the tea slurping. One day I will kill him.

Is there any chance that the room is a bit whiffy when she comes in? Sometimes you dont notice when you are sitting in a room but when you just arrive you can be hit with a smell. Could she be just trying to air the place out?

Yanbu, everyone needs to be Comfortable.

However, from the other side, dp works in an office and during the summer it was baking. Two of the women kept closing the windows complaining that they were cold whilst wearing short sleved blouses. The others were so hot and couldn't take off any more clothes!

Dp bought a personal fan, but I think it's unfair that they didn't just bring in some extra layers and others had to suffer because of it.