To be angry at DH for this?

[SomeSortOfDeliciousBiscuit]

Background: DS was sick twice on Sunday. He'd just eaten and was overexcited, and the second time was in the car. We put it down to being overexcited and car sick. No other signs of him being ill, so he went to school on Monday. He has ASD and is only four. He is very rarely ill and it's even rarer for him to be vomit-ill, but if he's sick in the night, he's very quiet and won't tell us.

This morning, I got up and went to wake DS up to get ready for school, only to find he'd been sick in the bucket we'd left by his bed on Sunday (not like proper vomit, like phlegm). I hadn't heard a thing all night. DH obviously had, because there was a towel spread across the bed.

I'm angry because DH left for work, knowing that DS had been ill, or at the very least, that he'd been feeling ill in the night, and didn't wake me up to tell me. At the very least, I expected a note, or a text message, or something.

Would you be angry over this? I am angry, but would like to hear what other people think before I go full active volcanic eruption at DH.

And phlegm. is often what goes out when a kids been retching or there is nothing in the stomach to vomit up

giles That's what I though, isn't phlegm usually the last thing to come up and not the first?

No way would I send a child to school during the night. Their sleep has been broken and there is clearly something wrong with them at that time. One day off school won't make a difference!

I love it when people throw strops because they don't like the answers they get when they ask.

Yoit son is clearly I'll and you sent him to school yabu why can't you judge when he needs to be Off school regardless. Of autism there was vomit how can you not know to keep him home

It certainly seems to be with mine. when the stomachs empty of food dd vomits up bile or just foamy gunk/phlegm.

and as op wasn't woken up she has no idea wheat time it happened or whether the bucket was emptied of vomit and put back so it could have been 4 or 5 times.

I hardly thing it hinges on a note from the dh. just common sense a child's been sick more than once with no circumstances to explain the last one other than He's ill

Your son has been sick 3 times over the space of a few days, of course you know him better than us, but it sounds like he is ill. Did your husband need to leave you a note for you to realise that? No.

Are you over reacting? Yes.

This is life, and it's nothing worth getting angry about.

YABU. What your husband saw in the night time could be completely different to how your DS is in the morning. All the note would say is, he was sick a bit, which you found out anyway.

YABU. What your husband saw in the night time could be completely different to how your DS is in the morning. All the note would say is, he was sick a bit, which you found out anyway.

So school's happy to accept him even though:

-he's vomited 3 times in less than 24 hours
-he's off his food
-it's very unusual for him to vomit (so not a sicky child)
-he is unable to provide accurate information on how he's feeling

Would love to see their policy on D&V - does it read "send them in if they can still stand"?

If I get up in the middle of a night to deal with a sick child, I am thinking about how best to deal with said sick child. I am very unlikely to think about writing a note a note to let someone else know when and how sick. I'm also (in view of the getting up to deal with sick child) likely to be half asleep and also not thinking about writing notes in the morning!!

I have an 8 year old with ASD who is exactly the same. Vomiting is his default to pretty much anything, a cough turns into being sick, a tantrum, being over excited, being over stimulated. If I kept him off school for 48 hours every time it happened, he wouldn't actually be able attend school.

He also goes off his food depending on his mood - and can seem like he's ailing for something one minute and perfectly fine the next.

The school are aware of this and are supportive. Sometimes with ASD, it's not as clear cut as "they've been sick, that's that"

Ohh I forgot to answer your question, don't be cross with your DH - if, like you, he didn't think it was sick through illness, he probably didn't think it was worth waking you and was trying to do what he thought was the right thing.