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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Supermarket encounter. IA probably BU so tell me what to do next time.

36 replies

MrsHathaway · 03/03/2015 14:46

I sometimes shop online and sometimes go into the shop. Today was a shop day. I ended up with a relatively full trolley and headed for the tills.

My shopping didn't all fit on the belt so the assistant had started scanning it before trolley and toddler and I got to the end.

I was slightly annoyed that she hadn't packed it, but instead had filled up the packing area and tutted as I caught up with the two carrier bags she had allotted me. Usually you have to decline offers of packing help - it's a particularly friendly store.

Partway through my packing I heard her say something, and had to ask her to repeat it (I have to lipread but don't wear hearing aids). She sighed and asked if I had "one of those card thingies". The chain is new to loyalty cards but we do now have one, so I said yes and carried on.

I pay (in a slightly complicated way) including handing over my loyalty card, and she gives me a handful of golden stickers.

"Er, what are these for?"

"You said you had a card."

"Er, yes, you swiped it."

"No, not a card, one of these card thingies."

At this point she brought out a leaflet, which I discover is to collect eleventy squillion stickers and get a FREE set of knives.

"Oh right, no, I don't want those. Are you collecting them?" I said to the next shopper, who doesn't. "Sorry, I'll give you them back."

"I asked you if you wanted them."

"No you didn't. You asked if I had a card, and I do, so I said yes." (I probably did not say that very nicely)

She then avoided eye contact while she processed the payment and gave me my change. It sounds petty to say she shoved my receipts at me, but that's what it felt like.

I spoke to Customer Services to say I felt I had been served helpfully and spoken to rudely, but it upset me so much I declined their offer of a manager and just left.

I was obviously U to get upset at such a minor exchange, but was I wrong throughout? I think I am usually more conciliatory and another time might have gone down the "silly me, I thought you meant..." route before the "no, that isn't what you said" route. I think I started off less tolerant than usual because she had made my packing harder than it needed to be. I didn't expect her to pack the lot, but in that store they always offer, and I certainly expected to be acknowledged, and probably did expect her to offer to pack at least while I was at the aisles end of the conveyor belt IYSWIM.

I'd like to be told why she was likely being grumpy (as farfetched as necessary) or why I made it worse or overreacted. They don't sell grips so it's likely I'm short.

Alternatively, if she was definitely the U one, is it worth pursuing? I've encountered her before and she's not one of the chattier staff, but I've never known her be rude before.

I have experience in retail so I know it's shitty dealing with cuntstomers all day long. But if I read the situation accurately, she shouldn't have been on a till today, and that's a management issue.

OP posts:
alwayslookingforsomething · 03/03/2015 14:48

Morrisons?

MrsHathaway · 03/03/2015 14:48

Fucking phone.

  • served unhelpfully

Now why the fuck would I type u n h e l p f u l l y if I meant "helpfully", phone?!

OP posts:
ScrambledEggAndToast · 03/03/2015 14:49

Move on.

TurnItIn · 03/03/2015 14:51

She was a little bit off with you - I really would just let it go.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 03/03/2015 14:53

Sounds like two grumpy people had a grumpy encounter Smile

ChipDip · 03/03/2015 14:54

Yep just move on.

ginmakesitallok · 03/03/2015 14:55

Worth pursuing? In what way? I don't think it's worth getting your knickers in a twist about .

Chippednailvarnish · 03/03/2015 14:58

YANBU. I also lipread, her sighing at being asked to repeat something would have been more than enough to piss me off.

I'm deaf, I'm fucking stupid!

MrsHathaway · 03/03/2015 14:59

Good. Helpful.

::looks up grips on eBay::

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 03/03/2015 15:00

Thanks Chipped but I'm going to assume you meant not fucking stupid.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/03/2015 15:00

How can you pursue it now, if you weren't willing to go as far as the manager?

Shoddy service but I'd move on now.

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 03/03/2015 15:02

On the rare occasion that I do a big shop actually in store, then if the cashier is racing ahead with scanning things through I just ask them if they can please slow down. I do occasionally get a suppressed eye roll, but no-one has ever refused my request.

It can be a nightmare trying to pack bags while preventing toddler from climbing out of the trolley or whatever, which is why I do my shopping mostly online.

You were absolutely not wrong OP, she was very rude I think.

MrsPeterQuill · 03/03/2015 15:05

I can understand it was annoying but if you wanted her to pack your stuff, why didn't you tell her that? The tutting and stuff was off but if I was you, I'd just brush it off and forget about it.

ender · 03/03/2015 15:07

Would have been easier for both of you if you'd just accepted the stickers.

PintofCiderPlease · 03/03/2015 15:08

Before you complain, let me ask you this. If you received really wonderful service, and the teller brightened your day, would you go and tell the Manager about it?

Based on THAT decision have a rethink about whether you want to complain.

Too many people are super fast at complaining about service, and NEVER offer praise.

(And yes I HAVE gone and spoken to the manager to tell them they had a really wonderful person working on their tellers, who cheered me up no end when I was in a really bad mood - Manager was so surprised someone actually PRAISED a staff member.)

ClumsyNinja · 03/03/2015 15:13

Definitely a training opportunity there for the store customer services manager.

I think if the customer has misheard an assistant, it should be no big deal to repeat themselves more clearly without getting huffy. In your case, she was hoping you'd simply know which card you were being expected to produce and then got annoyed that you weren't a mind reader.

Chippednailvarnish · 03/03/2015 15:17

Op I generally find that if you ask people to repeat something or actually say you're deaf they assume you're stupid! Hence the I'm deaf, I'm stupid comment.

Clearly that isn't the case on this occasion, but its a major bugbear of mine!

Rant over Grin

MrsHathaway · 03/03/2015 15:24

Funny you should say that, Pint, because yes I have praised good service - in store at CS and by emailing head office. I meant take it further in a more constructive fashion, eg suggesting they brief staff better if they want them to push promotions.

I couldn't ask her to pack for me because I didn't properly realise what she was doing until it was too late.

I think "two grumpy people having a grumpy encounter" is right, so I can minimise such encounters by not being grumpy myself and finding a jolly till. I did try at first with "hello", eye contact and smiling, but we were both busy and mithered.

A situation I imagined was the supervisor on CS would have gone over and said "bloody hell, Gladys, if your headache's that bad you should take your break early. Let's shut your till."

And yes, next time I'll take the stickers for the toddler to play with.

OP posts:
Purplepoodle · 03/03/2015 15:28

I hate people packing my shopping so that wouldn't annoy me. Tutting would have gripped my banana.

MidniteScribbler · 03/03/2015 19:22

If they normally offer to pack, could it be that she asked while you were unpacking the trolley/dealing with toddler, and assumed that you either ignored her or didn't want it packed? She was grumpy, but it's also possible she thought you were grumpy as well if you ignored her greeting and offer to pack?

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 03/03/2015 19:33

Pint I often praise good service, probably about evenly with how often I complain about bad.

MrsHathaway · 03/03/2015 19:38

Midnite that's a possibility, yes, given the hearing issues - in noisy places like supermarkets I simply wouldn't hear.

OP posts:
mommy2ash · 03/03/2015 19:40

i think you both sounded grumpy. i do all my shopping in store and unless they have bag packers or spare staff you pack your bags yourself. i wouldn't have batted an eyelid at that. you were grumpy with the exchange about the stickers, just shove them in your pocket supermarkets are always doing one promotion or another.

she sounds grumpy too, could have been for a million different reasons but while this has upset you and you are still thinking about it now i bet she is going on about her life without giving it a second thought. by that token its best that you just forget about it.

fizzycolagurlie · 03/03/2015 20:36

I think she started you off on the wrong foot and it spiraled a bit. I'd have been upset too, if i were you but I think when you left before seeing a manager you decided to let it go. And you should do now. Cuppa, feet up, fret not.

MiaowTheCat · 03/03/2015 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.