to not want a fuss over a zero birthday?

[notquiteoverthehill]

So it's a zero birthday soon- not 30, not 40, not....

But everyone keeps asking me what I'm doing for it. I don't really want to do anything special. I never have made a fuss of my birthday. To me, it's just another day and to be honest I'm not feeling great about reaching another zero decade, but neither am I miserable- in between really.

Happy birthday notquiteoverthehill!!!! Do whatever you want on that day. Xx

My best friend is oh-so-unsubtley trying to organise a surprise birthday party for me, via DH. I'm hitting an 0 birthday next month. I'm completely not fazed by it, but I don't want to make a big thing of it, either. I may do tea and cakes at my house on afternoon, but that's it.

And I keep being asked what I want for a gift - I can't demand things, it's alien to me.

My DSil's birthday was a couple of weeks ago: pre-dinner drinks, dinner, live band, simple enough but things got blown out of proportion by other DSil, we were asked to pay for birthday person's dinner (fine by me), plus donate money for another gift to 'remember the night' wtf? I'd already bought a present - everyone had - and I resented gaving to fork out for another, so put my foot down - as did everyone after I opened the flood gates!

It spread a lot of unnecessary bad feeling and faff and by the time the evening rolled in, we werd al, pretty sick of it (unbeknownst to DSil). I'd hate that to happen behind the scenes of my birthday. I think about doing something 'big' and just get really anxious and FUCK OFF about he whole thing.

If we had the money, we'd go away for the weekend somewhere.

I'm rambling

I get how you feel, not quite. If people ask, just breezily say, 'oh, haven't decided yet', and leave it at that.

If anyone tells me I'm feeling anxioys because I'm going to ve another 0, I may give them a Glasgow kiss

Here are for us to throw at people

I didn't do anything for my 30th (I think I went to bed early) and I don't anticipate doing anything special for my 40th in a few years time either. I didn't have an 18th. I did have a 21st, but it was more of a farewell/early 21st as I was moving overseas, so it was held three months early because my father really wanted to give me one, I wouldn't have bothered otherwise.

You don't need to make a big deal of birthdays, it's not mandatory.

I recently went to a surprise 0 party for my Mum which I thought she would hate! I've got a 0 birthday coming up later in the year. I can't see us doing anything special and have already warned people surprise do's will not be tolerated!

I have a zero birthday this year and feel similar. I do want a small fuss on my birthday but just the same as usual - cake, taken out for a nice meal or cooked for by dh and kids, plan a nice day. That's all. I feel under pressure to have a party, or a big spa weekend or something which I don't want. DH and I were thinking about a special trip (and yes, partly so's I could say to people definitively that that's how we were celebrating) but now it's not happening for various reasons. I think I'll just start saying 'haven't decided yet'. Or there's a chance we might move just before the big birthday which would solve everything.

Yep, looking forward (not) to half a century here in the summer. I've told my DH I do not want a party. I didn't have a wedding 'do' either. It's just not me.

I'd like a weekend away or even a nice Spa day but unless I can find an over night baby sitter/organise it myself, it won't happen.

Perhaps all us zero's can celebrate quietly together?

Great idea ClumsyNinja I'm heading for 4-0 at the end of next month. I shall go to work in my Schwarovski!

I ad my 40th a few weeks ago and it was a low key affair, just the way I like it.

My dc blew out my candles, cut my cake, had the first bite for quality control purposes and they also opened my cards & gifts! I enjoyed watching their excitement and that wouldn't have happened if I had a big party.

I like the simple life & here are some for those who like the simple life & zero drama.

I have a ) birthday coming up later this year & it took a great deal of argument discussion to persuade DS that I did not want a party.

Which is a good thing as DIL will be having PFB a few weeks before said birthday.

Honestly, I thought I'd never be a grandmother & that will be the best present - ever.

I was asked, a few weeks after my father died, if I was planning a nice party for a forthcoming 0 birthday. It really wasn't on my radar. To each their own, and all that, but while I can understand making a fuss of someone reaching 80 or 90 I think 30 and 40 are really just another birthday.

I've got a big big big 0 birthday this year. Have only got 3 people to celebrate it with. Still, who wants to have 70 rubbed in by a big bash, eh?

Thing is, you may not want a fuss, but the people who love you may want to make one for you.

DH turns 40 and seems unable to comprehend that his family will want to see him and celebrate with him, he just to pass the day quietly with me and the kids, but I know the inlaws will be really hurt if they don't get to do something special with him.

We went away for DH's 40th (just the two of us) and I'm planning similar for mine.

Zero birthdays are worth a slight fuss IMO but it's your birthday and your decision.

Yanbu. I would think of so,echoing I would like to do that doesn't involve a terribly big fuss and keep repeating that this is your idea of fun and that's what you will be doing. End of conversation.

DH and I are luckily of similar minds on this. We had parties for our 30ths pre-DCs but paid a shedload of money each time to feed and water people we had barely seen for the previous couple of years.

For our 40ths we decided to book short breaks for each one, well in advance, so that was that. And it was perfect. We did something "special" and spent the time together, and with DCs, but not some massive party, and we dodged the issue of surprise parties or wider family muscling in, which we didn't want.

OP, why not just say you've got a spa day or special meal booked and then just don't do it if you don't feel like it?

Clumsy - bar the need for a babysitter you could be my twin!

Except I have a twin who seems (actually not seems is definitely) hell bent of celebrating.

Get a group of friends and go white water rafting. You can try to tip the friends if your choice into the water. It can be a really good laugh and then all go to the pub to get warm and have dinner.