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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to tell DH to stop eating !!

62 replies

itstartsnow · 03/03/2015 01:05

For tea tonight we had a cottage pie (he had a decent portion size) and since then he has eaten 5 bread rolls with bacon in (that's 10 slices of bacon) and 4 sausages on the side. He started snacking on (thick) slices of cheese and crisps almost straight after dinner. I can hear him back in the kitchen just now in and out the cupboards.

AIBU to tell him to stop!!! I know he's an adult but it really pisses me off that I buy food and it gets eaten straight away.

No matter what portion size I make for tea it's never enough. For example in a chicken curry he moans if there's no less than 4 chicken breasts in. I probably eat 1/2 a breast (not a massive meat eater). Mince based meals need to be made with the big packs (750g).

He does pay half the food bill but I'm really trying to budget (low income at the moment).

Note - he is in no way overweight, he's 6ft1 and skinny.

OP posts:

Bluegrass · 03/03/2015 08:50

If, as OP says, he is skinny, and if he has been eating like this for some time it seems very harsh to say he is "disgusting" or "greedy". He seems to be eating the amount of food his body is telling him it needs to sustain itself (it that seems to be right, should he go hungry and get skinnier?!).
Perhaps it would be better if he got his calories from MN approved sources, like wine and cake instead!

LaurieFairyCake · 03/03/2015 08:56

Yeah I have to agree he's not greedy. Anyone skinny eating that much is eating it to stay alive.

Doctor.

flightywoman · 03/03/2015 08:57

He might need his thyroid checking. Has he got bulgy eyes, is he prone to being a bit irritable or snappy? Is he constantly on the go/full or nervous energy?

Worth a check anyway...

TheWitTank · 03/03/2015 09:03

Just because he is skinny it doesn't mean he is doing his body any good by stuffing in endless stodgy rubbish like crisps and bread. The op hasn't said if he eats any fruit or vegetables, but from her list of his "snacks" I'm guessing not really! You can eat and be nutritionally starved.

TendonQueen · 03/03/2015 09:03

But even if it's a medical issue, it's not fair to moan at you when he's eaten through all the food and it's not fair that you pay half each when you only eat a small fraction of hug. What's stopping him going to Tesco and getting his own food in?

SaucyJack · 03/03/2015 09:05

I've got one a bit like that. DP will happily roast a chicken and have it to himself for supper. BMI of 18 so it's not just greed.

What works for us is him buying his own extra meat out of his "pocket money" so I don't end up spending all my time and the family budget shopping for him.

Topseyt · 03/03/2015 09:09

Overactive thyroid is possible, as I said before. It can speed up metabolism and propel food through at such a fast rate that you do not get any benefit from it and your body is literally starving. Uncontrollable hunger. You eat what is there and may still be skeletal. I was.

Thanks to all those of you who have termed it disgusting without further qualification. I am not disgusting. I ate like that because I was ill. Some very ignorant comments on this thread.

Encourage him to see his GP.

alwayslookingforsomething · 03/03/2015 09:20

Just because he is skinny it doesn't mean he is doing his body any good by stuffing in endless stodgy rubbish like crisps and bread

This is so true. It's almost like it is justified that it is ok to eat loads of junk because someone is skinny.

It's interesting how a lot of these people end up overweight in later years because they have got accustomed to eating large amounts

VeryAgedParent · 03/03/2015 09:32

My DH and four sons can put away huge amounts of food, that leave others in awe! They don't appear to put on weight either. I think its just the way they are!

AnotherGirlsParadise · 03/03/2015 09:58

He may be skinny, but all that saturated fat will be gathering around his internal organs and dicking up his arteries and liver something chronic. His cholesterol must be through the roof.

I'm with other PPs in that he should see his GP - that is a seriously alarming amount of food to be getting through every day.

AnotherGirlsParadise · 03/03/2015 09:59

He may be skinny, but all that saturated fat will be gathering around his internal organs and dicking up his arteries and liver something chronic. His cholesterol must be through the roof.

I'm with other PPs in that he should see his GP - that is a seriously alarming amount of food to be getting through every day.

crazypenguin · 03/03/2015 10:05

I used to get 2 meals out of a chicken, 2 meals out of a pack of mince etc. No chance now. It gets hoovered up before I even get a chance at seconds.
It's expensive, and in my house it is greed.

WildFlowersAttractBees · 03/03/2015 10:08

I most definitely did not mean he was disgusting. The lack of fruit veg and high content of stodgy fatty foods would be off-putting to me.

I would also be worried about his hidden health and encourage a trip to the doctors.

championnibbler · 03/03/2015 10:10

sounds like a thyroid problem.
do not ignore this.

Naty1 · 03/03/2015 10:37

It does sound like a lot of protein too though.
My dp is same height, doesnt eat that much and weighs 16st or so.
What does he weigh? Maybe he isnt as skinny as you think (all the fat in arteries)
I think he should pay for all the food, if you go to the effort of buying it.
Does he also snack on biscuits/cakes?
Maybe he isnt eating breakfast/lunch

Ellisisland · 03/03/2015 10:48

My DF is like this. He used to work abroad for years and only had access to a restricted diet. Barely any meat mainly rice and beans. He was very skinny and used to gorge himself whenever he got home. Now he is back in the UK for good his weight has ballooned and he is very unhealthy. Drives my DM nuts that she can bake 12 scones and he will eat them all in a day!

I agree that he may have an underlying health issue. My DH has a really physical job and is the same height as yours. He eats big meals and lots of protein but doesn't snack anywhere near as much as that. Does he eat 3 meals a day? Or is it all in the evening?

alwayslookingforsomething · 03/03/2015 10:54

www.theguardian.com/science/2006/dec/10/medicineandhealth.health

Are you a Tofi? (That's thin on the outside, fat inside)
Extraordinary images from medical scans revealed here for the first time show that many people who have normal body weight are carrying around hidden layers of fat. Stored up around vital organs, they can put outwardly healthy people at risk

Sallystyle · 03/03/2015 12:28

He may be skinny, but all that saturated fat will be gathering around his internal organs and dicking up his arteries and liver something chronic. His cholesterol must be through the roof.

Or probably not considering the new information coming out that saturated fat is fine and doesn't cause heart disease or raise cholesterol.

Lots and lots of new information out there that everything we believed about it is wrong.

authoritynutrition.com/saturated-fat-good-or-bad/

This is a good start.

OP, it would annoy me too and I agree that a trip to the gp for blood tests are a good idea. Failing that, he needs to fund his extra food himself.

SoonToBeMrsB · 03/03/2015 12:38

My DP would easily do that but he found that he was gaining weight so has really put a stop to his snacking and has lost loads of weight since new year. He's 24, 6' 2" and has a very active job but the constant picking was catching up with him.

I agree with PP that your DP should see a doctor, that's an obscene amount of food!

BoredFatCat · 03/03/2015 12:40

sounds like he has worms most likely pin worm

woollytights · 03/03/2015 13:03

I'm shocked at people saying he's disgusting, greedy, saying it would be a turn off. It would be quite diaturbing really to try and control what your partner eats based on what you consider to be an attractive person's diet. If you have genuine concerns for his health or your budget, that's different just discuss it with him. I don't understand why you haven't already done so.

Honestly there was a thread on here recently where women bragged and laughed together over eating obscene amounts of food as a snack. I can't imagine they'd have been too impressed if their partners declared them repulsive and ordered them to only eat fruit and veg from now on. So I don't see why it's OK to control an adult man in the same way either. Awful advice.

RonaldMcDonald · 03/03/2015 13:05

bulimic?

TheWitTank · 03/03/2015 13:20

I don't think people meant HE was disgusting - I certainly didn't anyway. More so I personally would find it quite disgusting to watch someone trough through 5 bacon rolls, crisps and cheese after a massive dinner. It would turn my stomach. Having a big appetite is one thing, but anyone would admit that that quantity and quality (IF it is along those lines daily) of food isn't healthy or normal. I'm not suggesting he munch carrot sticks and hummus all day, but 5 rolls of bread, bacon and cheese all together isn't great is it, especially If it is a regular thing. We all have days where we "pig out". But I think most can create that balance between having the odd day of treats and crap within a balanced diet and eating like that all the time. It's extremely concerning. I would be concerned about am undiagnosed medical issue or an eating disorder/obsessive issue.

diddl · 03/03/2015 13:25

OK OP, what do you consider a decent portion of cottage pie?

5 rolls with 2 slices of bacon in each would feed the four of us for an evening meal for example!
(we eat cooked at 2ish)

So if we'd have cottage pie at lunch, bacon rolls for evening would be more than enough.

People eat "between meals" if they wish-fruit, yoghurt, round of toast.

But to me, cottage pie plus 5 bacon rolls is a ridiculous amount of food!

MaidOfStars · 03/03/2015 13:30

Your timestamp is 1:05am - are you in the UK? If he has eaten breakfast and lunch (snacks through the day?), a reasonable tea, 5 bacon rolls, four (full size?) sausages, lumps of cheese and crisps and is rifling through the cupboards in the middle of the night for more, this is a medical issue. It is not healthy and it is not normal. Get him to a GP, ASAP.

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