To sometimes get bored of small talk

[Chilliplantbox]

I find this particularly grating at work and especially if I'm stressed, as I get so impatient!

I work in a large organisation, and find myself answering and asking the same questions over and over throughout the week. How was my weekend. What have I got planned for the weekend. Isn't it lovely now the days are getting a bit longer. How tired we all are. What is for lunch. What is on TV tonight. How the weekend wasn't long enough.

While small talk undoubtedly has its place, I just don't know why my attempts at Big Talk (hobbies, philosophy, just even something slightly out of left field or a more controversial opinion, or as a last resort some slightly interesting current issue in the media) is so abhorrent to most people I talk to. I normally get a gasping-fish face and either a change of subject or a complete rebuttal.

Occasionally I have the most wonderful long conversation with someone where we can share our interests completely candidly, but these opportunities seem so few and far-between, and I want to feel more fulfilled socially :(

Do people just do small talk because we're so time-restricted in our interactions now? Or are we scared of going a bit off-piste? I desperately want to understand! Sometimes, I see a colleague and just want to shock them into saying something original. Sometimes it works - but mostly they just look distraught!

I would quite like a new opener for small talk to be, instead of "how are you", "are you feeling chatty today?" then if you say yes, they can do the usual banal crap and you won't mind and might even take part, or if you say no, then it's up to you to start something a bit more interesting, or just say nothing at all, and it would be perfectly socially acceptable.

I am such a fascist at times.

Actually I can pretty much tell when a friendship has run its course, when we just end up small-talking at each other every time we converse. Any big talk doesn't work because our interests and maybe even views on life have diverged.

Similarly maybe that's how I can tell if someone will be a friend or not eventually, because of how much we engage in deeper conversations and swap opinions and stuff. It obviously means we have things in common if we can get beyond the polite.

I hate the thing where people ask how you are and you have to say "fine", then you have to ask them the same thing and they say "fine" so bloody scripted and a total waste of time.

People being interviewed on the radio are doing it now. Totally pointless.