Too be upset with friend/DC's mum

[NotNob]

I am friends with the mum of one of DS's friends, both of which are in year 2.

We have play dates (urgh I feel sick typing that word) and chat over coffee and we also socialise periodically as families. Last week my friend messaged me to inform me her son told her my DS, along with another friend, punched him. I was horrified and immediately confronted DS about this. He denied it and I believe him. He was genuinely perplexed and mortified at the questioning. No, I don't think DS is the second coming but I believe him as he is a quiet, gentle boy who would run a mile and burst into tears if anyone even raised their voice to him. His friend, although pleasant, can be moody and is prone to bursts of anger if things don't go his way; I've witnessed this on several occasions.

After confirming to my friend that DH and I had both interrogated DS and were both convinced he did not punch him, my friend seemed to sidetrack and suggest it might have been another boy who was responsible. I'm left feeling quite angry at this accusation. She has a tendency to not reprimand her DS for poor behaviour and believes everything he says. She also subsequently admitted it would have been surprising if DS did indeed punch him. AIBU to feel resentful at this accusation? I consider it quite a serious one. Or am I being over-sensitive?

He seems happy for the play date, thewaves, although both will be telling tales on each other within 5 mins. That's another thing. If it's my DS telling petty tales, I tend to tell him they need to sort it out themselves, however, if it's DS' s friend who does it, my friend is inclined to indulge (for want of a better word) and I feel there is an expectation for it to be sorted, which usually means giving my DS a ticking off. Bloody play dates.

Don't know why you are so upset. Personally I wouldn't bring something like that up with another mum but she seems to have been reasonable and accepted your explanation, although you describe that as 'sidetracking'. I notice as well that in your post you manage to criticise the behaviour of the other boys involved and her parenting. Is that necessary? If you believe your ds, that's the end of it. Why criticise others?
It's good you have decided to vent here rather than telling your friend how you feel.

NotNob - in that sort of situation try saying "well I want you both to play nicely, now off you go"

Never fall out over children.....as fast as you're falling out, they're falling back in!!
Ends up the parents not speaking and the kids playing together happily - as proved by my friend who is (ridiculously!) not speaking to her neighbour five years after the kids fell out and fell straight back in again.

I understand you're angry O.P and you've more than every right to be. All you see is your ds facing accusations for something he's played no part it. Any mother would be pissed off.
However the same thing happened to me when dd was in reception. Her friend made up a story that my dd had scratched her the day before when dd wasn't even in school. When the mother found out the child was lying. My God she was mortified and actually crying, and couldn't apologize enough. She kept saying "Aww poor baby ghost", about my dd. I suppose she'd been sitting there saying. "That little shit wait till I get my hands on her", scratching my child.".
I was seething inside but I took a step back and took a closer look. It wasn't the mums fault her dd had told her something and she believed her, any mum would. She made the child apologize to me though.
And the ironic thing was that all could have caused a bloody riot but dd and her friend actually walked down the corridor and into class holding hands.
As hard as it sometimes. It's really not worth falling out over children. They're speaking 5 minutes later and the adults are still tearing lumps out of each other.