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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find is really rude when OH says, "don't start"!?!

27 replies

BatsCantFly · 02/03/2015 19:42

Don't make a mess then you man child!!! Grrr! It's like a red flag to a bull! Does anyone else get like that?

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 02/03/2015 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fizzycolagurlie · 02/03/2015 19:44

No. We don't speak to each other like that.

If we did, cups of coffee might get thrown (by me).

He has learned to tidy up and keep his mouth shut.

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 02/03/2015 19:44

Yanbu!

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 02/03/2015 19:45

It's rude and dismissive and I hate it!

flanjabelle · 02/03/2015 19:45

It is dismissive and rude and gets my back up like nothing else. you are not alone. It makes me angry just thinking about it.

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 02/03/2015 19:45

And pack it in is just as bad.

flanjabelle · 02/03/2015 19:46

X post what

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 02/03/2015 19:49

We are definitely right. So right we both said it at the same time :)

Original poster
BatsCantFly · 02/03/2015 19:50

Thank goodness for that I'm in the bath after my storming out rage and was atatuinfn to think I over reacted! It IS rude and dismissive isn't it!

I'm normally calm and sane but I'm not sure my come back was very mature. I've never done a stomping argument before it was a lot of effort. Where do people go after they stomp off?!

OP posts:
Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 02/03/2015 19:54

I usually stomp outside for a cigarette, but that's prob not much use if you're a non smoker.

Original poster
BatsCantFly · 02/03/2015 19:58

Yes I don't smoke I drove to Burger King and got an ice cream. That'll learn him! Feel much better after posting this. AIBU replaces marriage counselling :)

OP posts:
PrettyFeet · 02/03/2015 20:18

That would be my cue to start and not stop until I was ready.

I'd get his shit and stick it in a bin bag. Dump him and his shit in the spare room.

Job done Grin

Original poster
BatsCantFly · 02/03/2015 20:31

we're getting married in 95 days! Not sure best time to be dumping him in the spare room, sulking instead!Hmm

OP posts:
Vastra · 02/03/2015 20:47

YANBU. I also hate "give it a rest".

HootOnTheBeach · 02/03/2015 20:56

Bats, why are you marrying such an annoying tosser?

Original poster
BatsCantFly · 02/03/2015 21:10

he's only just started this tosser like behaviour. I'm hoping it's a blip!?

OP posts:
Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 02/03/2015 22:03

I think a lot of, if not all, people occasionally act like a tosser. It's just a question of how often and how bad.

WONAR · 02/03/2015 22:53

My red rag phrase is "calm down". I go absolutely NUCLEAR when I hear that!

fizzycolagurlie · 03/03/2015 02:24

Oh god, yes, "calm down" makes me go ballistic.

But I try not to because its become a known trigger and I want to pretend it doesn't bother me so no one tries it, if that makes sense.

Straitjacket · 03/03/2015 02:53

When I read the OP I was going to comment saying "calm down" makes me rage and now seen that I was beaten to it!

ftmsoon · 03/03/2015 07:32

I agree with PP, 'calm down' makes me want to punch my DH!

YouTheCat · 03/03/2015 07:36

You need to sit him down and have a chat.

Do you want this to be how your married life will pan out? This isn't a ltb situation... yet, but it could become one with a few more years of resentment.

4seasons · 03/03/2015 10:26

Oh yes ! The " calm down " business really annoys me too. But after many, many years of marriage I have discovered how to cope with it and it's great ( yes, I know I am childish ). He used to say it a lot whenever we had visitors due and I was cooking / cleaning etc. in anticipation . I decided I was not going to stress out any more and "chill" instead. OMG !! This worked far better than I had anticipated . The more relaxed I became the more stressed and anxious he became ...... " have you thought about when you are going food shopping ?..... have you decided what you are going to cook ?" ( said with a really anxious expression on face ) .... I now respond with comments he used to use ... " oh, plenty of time to do everything, not doing anything fancy for dinner " ...etc. It's become a game for me and I really enjoy it and in fact find I am very " chilled " as a result. Just wish I'd thought of it years ago. Try it .... it can be fun.

KeepitDown · 03/03/2015 11:04

An ex used to tell me, "Don't get so emotional," or, "No need to get hysterical," if I so much as calmly flagged something I was unhappy about.

He absolutely hated it when I started saying it back to him.

pressone · 03/03/2015 11:13

Why is it that the person saying calm down or don't get emotional is the very person who got you in that frame of mind in the first place?

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