DH has the most awful sleep walking episodes...

[MrsTawdry]

That's it in a nutshell. We've been together for 12 years and he has frequent Hypnagogic episodes which frankly terrify me. He's larger than I am and he careers about the house...or creeps about clinging to the walls and following invisible light.....and all in the middle of the night.

Sometimes he has nightmares where he makes this terrifying wailing noise. Just now it happened again and I heard him CHANTING in his sleep. I went in the room and he was standing on the dresser, feeling about on the top of the wardrobe and sort of chanting/ranting about something.

I shouted at him. I know people say not to...but I always do and he wakes up. But he's frightening and once knocked himself clean out in this sort of state.

I have told him to see the doctor...that he needs a sleep clinic...but he doesn't ever go. I actually understand his fears....I think he is scared they will say there's something wrong with his brain... but really...I can't go on like this. I am always scared the DC will hear or see him...so far they haven't but he did once wake one dd up partly when he was wailing...luckily she didn't remember the next day.

I haven't ever been hurt by him but what if? AIBU to think that if he doesn't sort this out with the doctor then he's no respect for me or the family?

It sounds as if he has quite a serious problem with it. It's not dangerous to wake him up (at arms length!) and it's a kind thing to do as he is so distressed by what he is seeing. It's also fucking freaky to be around. DP often has an 'odd' few minutes when he wakes up when he's hallucinating/not properly awake but talking weird shit. I hate it. It is scary. Especially the creepy little laughs and chuckles he does. It reminds me of someone I knew who had psychotic episodes. And that's nothing near as extreme as your DHs problem.

He really needs to go to the doctor and get a referral to a sleep clinic. He's probably afraid they'll say it's a brain tumour or a mental health problem. Reassure him that it really isn't that uncommon and there's usually no serious cause for it, but a lot can be done to help.

Filming a few of these episodes is a good idea. DP has no recollection of what he's said or that he's been odd at all, once he comes round fully.

Dh has chased seagulls round the room, sorted socks and stripped the bed looking for big spiders ( frightened me that one!) Always when he's stressed.

I pulled over a chest of drawers in my sleep. Loads of stuff went flying, picture smashed etc. I was having a nightmare & the crash woke me. Sending sympathy, OP.

If he is up walking he isn't sleeping properly which is tiring.
It is worth getting seen just so he can get some proper sleep.

I was a sleep screamer and xp used to sit up and talk with his eyes wide. Couldm't wake him up as he was convinced he was awake. It is quite frightening.
Yanbu

apparently i sleepwalk
i never remember anything about it.
most of the time i just wander upstairs but one time it seems i opened the front door wide and left it open all night - i live on a busy street.
we could have been robbed or worse!

I found myself outside once, in old sleep t-shirt and pants, locked out because I'd closed the door behind me. Fortunately room mate had had a night out and was awake. He heard some rattling at the door and went to investigate. He didn't even realise I was asleep, was just amazed at me being there and couldn't make out what I was saying.
I just went back to bed. Didn't remember a thing about it next morning.
Scared the shit out of me. Never again went to bed before locking the door.
For me it was stress and drink that triggered it, not the night of drinking itself but after. I struggled with depression and anxiety. Loads of nightmares too.
It is scary, I would nudge him towards getting some help around this. And yes, do wake him up.

I used to sleepwalk all the time when I was younger, my mum told me one night she thought we were being burgled, no it was me taking the cooker to pieces in my sleep. She put me back to bed, luckily I grew out of it It is scary though and I would persuade your DH to get seen to.

OP, one of my colleagues does this. He has an app on his iphone that activates and records any noises above a certain level. Otherwise he wouldn't actually know about some of his episodes. It might be an idea if you think hearing his noises would help encourage him to get help.

Please get him to see a doctor. My friends uncle used to sleepwalk and one night went to make chips but left the oven on and went back to bed causing a fire. A neighbour was returning from work and alerted emergency services which saved his life

My eldest DD used to sleep walk. It was between the ages of about 6 to 11. Not often, maybe three time a year? She wandered into the living room once, saying she couldn't fine the loo door handle ...

Mostly she would just come and stand over me while i slept. Jesus it would freak me out. I'd 'feel' her there in my sleep (probably heard her breathing) and i'd slowly open my bleary eyes to find a slim pale figure stood stock still and silent by my head in the darkness, staring down at me. Arrrggghhh

I hope he listens to you and goes to the doctor. I am the sleep walker in this family and used to have terrible night terrors too, that had me running around the house screaming at the top of my voice, trying to "escape". Once, when my husband was away, I nearly threw myself out of a high-rise window. Luckily it didn't open very far, but I do know a woman who died doing exactly this. I would have gone to a doctor by now but they suddenly stopped when I had a baby.

I have never heard it connected to any sort of tumour or anything like that; and they don't sound like a new development for your husband? So he really shouldn't worry on that score. They are just so frightening and, as PP has said, you aren't sleeping properly either (I was exhausted for years), so any help would, I'm sure be welcome for him. Doesn't sound much fun for you, either: I'm sorry.