to ask for advice on my 7 month old sleeping in her cot

[guiltynetter]

as soon as I put her down. she screams. I leave it a few minutes as sometimes she used to cry for literally 2 minutes and fall asleep. but now she gets unconsolable. I pick her up. cuddle her. calm her. put her back down. she screams. this can go on for hours. 3 hours on Thursday. what the hell can I do? :( I don't believe in cry it out.

My DD (now 11months) went through this whenever she was teething could she be teething now? It seemed to make her so sensitive to being put down in the cot and she was fine at 4-6 months! Can you cuddle her to a deep sleep then put her down? We definitely used Calpol a lot in these phases!

Failing that, DD is now similar as she's got a cold and I'm just co-sleeping half the time, I used to worry it would make it a habit but now I just think go with it for as long as they need it (normally a week or so) and then back in the cot when she's back to normal.

Oh also there's loads of gentler methods like one where you stay by the cot and don't pick her up but don't leace so not CIO or the gradual retreat method.

Good luck

I would try and settle her in the cot. Stay and sshh-pat, hold her hand, sing to her. If she's previously settled ok I would try not to get into the habit of picking her up every time.

If that doesn't work then you'll have to try putting her down very nearly asleep for a while.

Is she sick/teething? How long has it been going on for?

My 8 month old DD just went through a phase of this, lasted a week or so, she always settled easily before. Turns out it was teething, her two top middle ones just appeared at the same time. She's now back to settling well (for now) :)

Try and hold her with a blanket under your arms and the when you put her down she won't feel like she is being put down on the cold sheets of the cot. And maybe warm up the cot with a hot water bottle too to make it extra snug.

iv tried standing by the cot, stroking her face, sitting by the cot etc but it just seems to make her worse. she has been in the cot 3 weeks now (from moses basket in our room) so i suppose it's been a big change but it's taking so long, I can't handle it!

a couple of times this week i have let her fall asleep between me and my partner in our her (propped up on pillows) and transfered her when she's asleep but I'm not sure i should get into a habit of it.

I don't think she's teething or unwell.

I think you should do what feels best.

You say you don't want to make a habit of her sleeping with you guys. Can I presume and say that you don't want to do this because she won't sleep by herself?

Except.... She already isn't... So what have you got to lose by doing it?

What alternatives are there?

I guess you could try rocking her to sleep, then transferring her, but that can make you very resentful.

She might get over it in a little while, so you could persevere with what you're doing now, and see.

I battled with my first, and he didn't properly go to bed by himself til he was five, and has always been difficult. He's 18 now.

When I had twins, I was not going to have the same problems, so we do-slept until they were one, and then I did rapid return sleep training, which took a few weeks, but they are excellent sleepers. They're ten now, with a very sensible attitude to bedtimes, unlike ds 1 who's a sleep twit.

Could you try moses basket in cot to help her adjust? We did this when moved ds. Otherwise blanket /muslin that smells of you. Ds went for a week settling fine then waking in the night and being hard to settle - it was a phase and back to sleeping all night in his cot. He's also 7months and teething is a nightmare

Have you tried swaddling her? It might just be that it feels like too much space. Or putting the Moses Basket in the cot for a while if she still fits.

I like swaddling - you can buy swaddle pods or wraps which are brilliant.

DD done this. Against family's advice we bought her her own toddler bed at 10 months. Bed was pushed against ours, no chance of her falling out at all, unless she turned into a ninja one night
Worked a dream, sleeping right through the night bar when she's fecking teething and so glad I done it

I had this with my 7 month old last week. Got to the end of my tether and used Jo Frost's controlled crying technique. You never abandon them to 'cry it out' and it genuinely worked. 20 mins or so of distress (for me) and crying (for her) and she's happily gone into her cot every night since. Really worth a try, especially if she's crying for 3 hours anyway!
Did it with my first too and he now loves his got aged 2 and has no abandonment issues ;)

Basically you put them in the cot, warm, well fed and clean nappy. Say goodnight and walk out. Leave for 2 mins, then go back in, stroke tummy, say shh etc then go back out. Leave 4 mins, then repeat, doubling the time each time, so 8 mins then 16.
I did 1 min, then 2 mins then 3 mins then 5, and didn't stick to it rigidly if she was really crying.
It honestly worked though and she is so so much happier for it. If she's crying anyway what have you to lose?

I started a small thread whilst I was doing it to focus me, if you search my threads you should find it :)

Another advocate for CC here. I do our routine of bath, bottle (still at 15 months ) the put DD down, say goodnight love you and walk away. Some nights I need to go in for reassurance and some she goes to sleep straight away. Initially, we did 5 mins, 10 mins, 15 mins checks up to half hour (if still crying) and start over for a few nights and she was fine after that. Good luck.

Half an hour of crying?? Wowsers! I really couldn't do that. But then I am a firm believer in instinctive parenting and think that children are crying because, erm ,they are upset and think they are about to be eaten by tigers so of course they feel better when held/co-sleeping. It is absolute basic instinct stuff.
And of course CC works because in the end, the child probably thinks 'why bother crying? They won't come'.
I liked the pp's toddler bed idea. If you have room in your room OP.
However, am getting the feeling this will be flamed, so am expressing my minority view and running.
But not before saying good luck OP!

catsize I won't be trying controlled crying either, thank you for the suggestions though. really glad it worked for others. i can barely leave her crying for 5 minutes never mind 18! one night last week in utter frustration (the 3 hours night!) me and OH left her for about 10 minutes crying. when I went in to pick her up she was beside herself, sobbing in my arms, definitely never again.

hmm still don't really know what to do...I'm thinking of buying a cot projector today something for her to watch on the ceiling. God knows if it'll just be a waste of money though..

You could sleep with her- I did with my children- we had a big family bed for years. We all slept like a pile of puppies and had great quality sleep.

I have never had a single tear at bedtime with my children- ever.

My 7mo likes her mobile and I normally sit on a chair beside the cot until she falls asleep, sometimes with my hand on her stomach. She also has a toy elephant she likes to have in with her (which I then take out). Mobiles are only any good whilst they can't reach them so not sure for how much longer.