To not make DD read her reading book?

[whothehellknows]

Background: DD(7) is an anxious child and is often distressed about hypothetical disasters like houses or school catching fire, lightning strikes, wolf or bear attacks, etc. Previously this school year she's been upset about some of her school reading material, and been tough to settle afterwards. Some of it has been fictional stuff, like fables where animal characters hurt or eat other characters. Other times they were factual books, and she was worried about things like Hitler not wanting black people to compete in the Olympics or pictures of a leopard eating an antelope. So far I've tried to be supportive and reassuring of DD, while still getting her to complete her assigned reading. (I don't want to give her the idea that she can pick and choose which homework to do.)

DD has put off her homework over the weekend and so I asked her to bring her reading book and read it to me before bed. The book is about Pompeii, and has chapters titled "No escape!" and "Dead and Buried". It describes how the people in the city tried to flee but were mostly burned alive or suffocated under several feet of ash.

I know if I let her read it, she's going to torment herself with visions of people dying horribly and no amount of reassurances will convince her that the same thing won't happen to us at any moment. I'm happy teach her about volcanoes generally, but WIBU to just give her something else to read?

Just write in the reading record "DD was not enjoying this book" and ask them to change it. I do that occasionally when the DCs have been given a book and really don't like it. Obviously only do it very occasionally but it's never been a problem. Forcing them to read something they hate is a guaranteed way to put them off reading and I'm sure that's the last thing the teacher wants.

No way would I make her read it.

Yanbu, knowing this will likely distress her a lot I wouldn't make her read it.

Yanbu. Don't make her read it.

Use your common sense.

Do you think the teacher wants her to be distressed and upset?

That makes me feel better. I know I can't wrap her in cotton wool forever, but I'm hoping as she gets older she'll be able to read without personalizing everything.

Goodness, we have has this exact problem this weekend. A book of fables involving some quite violent and frightening acts (for a child). We started it and I could see DS getting twitchy looking at the pictures and guessing what was going to happen next. I gently put it down and said let's finish this in the morning which he was only too happy to do.

I don't want to finish it in the morning! It involves a fox snapping hens' necks off!

Is it wrong to put it in his reading bag and send it back in unread?

Carla it sounds like it's not!

I made her read "Daisy and the Trouble with Burglars" instead, and I wrote in her journal that I had given her a different book because this one would just upset her. I do feel a bit bad because I know her classmates will have read it, and I haven't heard anyone else complain.

But do kids really need to read stories about foxes snapping hens necks and the like?

YANBU. dS1 was made to read The a Boy n the striped pyjamas a year should, and is still haunted by it. He's older - was 12 at the time - but same principle applies.

Don't and maybe let the teacher know your concerns

As a teacher, I would be more than happy if you read another non fiction book with her and just told me/wrote in the reading record that DD finds books like that a bit scary.

I'd totally understand and the point of reading it won't be to learn about the subject, it will be looking at non-fiction books.

In the past I've written that DD found some of the content of a book distressing, but the only response was "Sorry :)"

I think they just work with the books that they have and shove the next book from a set into the bookbag.

I never thought I'd miss the Magic Key...

I quite often send the book back unread if it is scary.

My soon to be 6yr old DD is currently devouring the 'Horrible Histories' books. I bought a huge box full at a jumble sale lest year, intending to give them to her in a few years time, but she discovered the box and loves them.
Reading the above posts, perhaps I should take them off her?
I did mention to her teacher at parents evening last week that my DD was reading these, but the teacher said she thought it was fine.
What do you guys think?

Rocket, my ds in year 3 LOVES horrible histories set. So ,it's horses for courses. He wants to read those but can't be cajoled into reading the boring books that are sent home from school. I think as long as out DC is enjoying whatever they are reading its fine. Reading is supposed to be a nice thing to do-not a chore.

I'm 37 and I still have recurring nightmares about a book I read about Pompeii as a young child. So no, I wouldnt make her read it.

Yep, I think it just depends on the individual kid's temperament. My other DC wouldn't bat an eyelid at thousands of people dying in a volcanic eruption.

Dont make her read it I sobbed my way through Watership Down as a child. The benefit from reading practice is completely obliterated by the distress caused.

Yanbu, go and see the class teacher and explain, if it's to support topic find gentler material online for her to read.

Honestly I'm sick of schools and reading material, we have the awful BC&K one book showed Thatcher as prime minister that went back with a note, one about a drunken horse also went back with a note. Not sure about the next two not sure if they were BC&K but one had smoking workmen and introduced my dd to the word cigarette so I complained she doesn't need the word cigarette in her vocabulary at 7 and another about mean boys and an old lady and accident and vandalised phone boxes and needing to go to the Asian boys mums shop to use a phone to call for help, I complained on the grounds of dated attitude needs removed ASAP. No phone boxes in our village and I wasn't keen on racial prejudice either or bully's or putting the thought an elderly friend or relative could get hurt and no one would know.

Then there are books with no story or no way to show how to construct a story. I wish they read something better.

Go ahead and complain away, more parents should IMHO.

They should set actual novels good classics, not rubbish written to achieve reading levels.

Your poor dd, Pompeii is distressing if it upsets her just send it back.

Goodness, I can still remember a book I read at primary school about an earthquake and children being buried in a school. Still irrationally terrified by earthquakes

Find another non-fiction book (I loved reading about how the Romans lived at that age).

Like themummyonthebus I still remember reading a book about volcanoes when I was a similar age.

I struggled to settle at night for months afterwards. I was convinced that a nearby hill was actually a dormant volcano that would erupt that night, so YANBU.

My DD (7) brings home books about animals and their adaptations at the moment aswell as fiction books like Horrid Henry which she loves. She got distressed at the myths books (the minator story has gory pictures and gave her nightmares). Some children are more sensitive to others at images and words/stories and so for now have to veer away from that kind of stuff.

Yanbu

My elder child ( same age ) is similar and I am often changing channels, muting radio and such like

He would hate that book !

Foxy we had all the ones you mentioned too !!!

I remember the Ukraine plane crash , it was all over the news and despite my best efforts . I lied - said
The plane was empty that day , and the pilot managed to escape in a parachute

When I read the title of your post my instinct was to say you wbu, but in these circumstances you are perfectly justified. It was be hard to find reading material that suits everybody in a class (I've die to the evening looking for current affairs topics that would interest but not traumatise 14yr olds!) and by getting her to read something else she is still attempting her homework. I know you don't think you can protect her from scary things forever, but she is still young enough for you to step in if you know it will upset her x