To not want DPs ex's creation in the house?

[annabanana30]

Dp is a bit of a hoarder. We are due to move in a month or so and I'm just packing away a few non essentials.

One of the many items DP has is a framed picture that his ex (who apparently used him and treat him not too nicely and his most recent ex before he met me) made for him. It's a sort of collage of music memorabilia. This will be our 3rd and final move in 4 years and each time I ask dp, shall we give the picture to the charity shop, and he is always aghast and says no. We never have this picture up, it's always put away because it doesn't fit in with our decoration, and quite frankly I don't want anything of either dp or my exes hanging there. AIBU to want to accidentally lose the picture in the move? Tee hee hee!

It does not belong to you, OP, so it's not up to you to decide on its future.

Have you thrown away everything your exes ever gave you?

I don't think so some how.......

Good job he doesn't have children. YABU

I think if it's never on the wall then you can probably get away with hiding it like you always have done. It's basically not that much bigger than a poster or large photo or something, yunno, it's flattish I presume?

So under the bed or whatever. It's normal to have stuff that bugs you but you should probably try and get over it. It doesn't mean he still wants her.

I mean, please don't bin it. It isn't yours to bin is it. Just let him hold on to it and then you can hold onto your own old shite too

YABU. I'm pretty sure DH has accidentally-on-purpose lost my engagement ring from my previous 10-year marriage, which I was already wearing on the wrong hand when I met him. I'm quite cross about it because my previous marriage break up was amicable, DH and XH are friendly, and I have good memories as well as bad ones. Humph.

You sound really childish

My ex was a photographer and my husband made me leave behind beautiful framed photos that he'd given me as a gift when we moved. It's not unreasonable of you, it didn't feel good for me but I understood his feelings

You sound like a bit of a nightmare. If you did something like that to me, I'd be livid.

If you have asked him if he minds getting rid and he said he wants to keep it then YABVU. However if he doesn't mind then get rid.

It sounds like a bit of crappy art that's stuffed in a dusty draw anyway. So I am curious. Is this more about your own insecurities regarding why he wants to keep it? Do you maybe feel he may still have some feelings for her and that's why he keeps it? Have you asked him why he wants to keep it?

I wouldn't OP. If it goes missing, he'll blame you. Just bury it under a pile of stuff in the attic.

Hugely unreasonable.

He's told you no to getting rid, he wants to keep it-which part of that do you not understand exactly?

YABVU.

There's no good answer to this one. Some people like having this sort of crap from exes hanging around, and some don't.

It's only a problem when you get a hoarder starting a new relationship with a chucker.

Personally, I'm with you. I've got pictures of my older DDs' dad, but everything else sentimental is long gone. I don't want the clutter in either a practical or psychic sense.

Are you really that insecure that an old piece of artwork stuck in the back of a cupboard makes you uncomfortable? Do you think he's going to catch sight of it and run back in to her arms? Get a grip.

YABU but I would feel exactly the same

I wouldn't give a shit. I wouldn't say I'm particularly easy going but it's in the past and if there's no suggestion that he still has feelings for her, what's the harm in it sitting in the loft under a pile of other shite? It may well be that it reminds him of a happy time at the beginning or middle of their relationship and consequentially a happy time in his life. You can look at something and appreciate those memories and not wish to be back there, iyswim. I'd rather have that than him potentially feeling resentful that I'd tried to steam clean his previous life.