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Original poster

Neighbours young children smoking

71 replies

autumn5678 · 01/03/2015 13:24

I posted last year about new neighbours that moved in and trouble we were having- rubbish, cigarette butts being chucked over their fence onto pavement, anti social behaviour from their kids.

This was in summer and since then it's died down slightly although young kids will still be playing out until late at night, but I'm prepared for it to start up again during summer.

A month or so ago I saw the mum walking with one of her kids, roughly 14 or 15 I would say, and she lit a cigarette for him. Completely shocked and disgusted but didn't know what to do so left it.

Last night I was on the phone and leaning against the front window when one of the children, young, around 12 or 13, went past on a scooter puffing on a cigarette.

What do we do? Who can we report this to? I'm so nervous about them finding out, they're not the sort of family you want to get on the wrong side of and I know their kids would make our life hell

OP posts:
gamerchick · 01/03/2015 14:19

I do find it heartening there are still people left who are shocked and want to report parents of smoking teens. It could be worse, it could be dope or that God awful bubble that's rife in schools these days.

morethanpotatoprints · 01/03/2015 14:24

It's none of your business and pointless to report to anybody as nothing can be done.

AGirlCalledBoB · 01/03/2015 14:26

Ignore it, most parents would find it hard to stop their teenager smoking. My sister was smoking at 14 and hiding it from my mum, she found out and desperately tried to get her to stop so she would just go out and get it from friends. She is still a smoker now. It's not worth the backlash you could possibly get.

YouMeddlingKids · 01/03/2015 14:27

Is it legal? I know its legal to let a teen drink within the home, but shocked that it applies to smoking too. I started smoking at 13 but I certainly hid it from my parents! The thought of DS smoking at 12/13 makes me feel sick.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 01/03/2015 14:45

The majority of smokers start as children. It's upsetting but these are just normal smokers at the start of their smoking lives.

It's illegal to sell cigarettes to someone under 18 and, since February last year, it's illegal to buy cigarettes for someone under 18. It's not illegal for under 18 y/o's to smoke. I'm not sure about giving a minor one of your cigarettes (i.e. they were not specifically bought for the minor) - that might be a bit of a grey area. They can't even enforce underage sales though, so ... That's one thing you could do to help - if you become aware of any shops that are selling cigs to children you could report them to trading standards.

fluffymouse · 01/03/2015 14:55

It is abusive in my opinion. I'm surprised so many parents think so little of something which has terrible consequences for a child's lifelong health.

I don't know what you can do.

Maybe speak to social services in the context of the wider picture? Is there anything else you know about that is abusive/neglectful?

TheRealAmandaClarke · 01/03/2015 15:03

An action does not need to be illegal in order to be considered abusive.

MrsPeabody · 01/03/2015 15:05

I'm really surprised by the responses on here. It's sad to have an expectation that the local school will be full of kids smoking at 13. I would inform the school nurse. Small things shouldn't be ignored. Those saying that they started so young, that doesn't make it right.

WineIsMyMainVice · 01/03/2015 15:28

I would call SS. You can do that anonymously. She is not protecting her children - she is actively encouraging them to smoke.
As a struggling to stop smoker myself, I only wish I had never started. It is one of the most addictive and harmful things you can do. This mother is completely irresponsible imo.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 01/03/2015 15:33

No, it doesn't make it right MrsPeabody. Who is suggesting that? The sad fact remains that the majority of smokers start as children. 207,000 children start smoking in the UK each year and 22% of 11-15 y/o have smoked at least once (ASH's figures). It's a big problem and one lots of very big and well-funded public health bodies would love to solve. The good news is that these figures are improving year on year.

What do you expect the school nurse to do?

ilovesooty · 01/03/2015 15:37

I taught in secondary schools for 23 years and never came across a school nurse.

fattymcfatfat · 01/03/2015 15:43

I started at 12. I hid it from my mum though as I knew it was wrong. it is horrible and addictive. I smoked for 11 years before finally getting an e cig in September then I came of the e cig 5 weeks ago and havent smoked anything since.
unfortunately theres nothing you can do.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 01/03/2015 15:50

I understand your desire to do something but I'm not sure there's much you can do unfortunately :(

It would be far too much workload to investigate/punish every family where a child is smoking - prevention is better than cure; more money needs to go into targeted campaigns against young people smoking. Many of my friends are addicted, they started at 14/15 and are still going now at 20/21, they want to stop but feel unable to as they've spent a quarter of their life smoking now.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 01/03/2015 15:52

Id be interested in more detail about the ASB. That might help with advice.

Original poster
autumn5678 · 01/03/2015 16:27

Thanks for all your responses.

In all honesty the more I think about it this child could be even 10 or 11 - the word 'teenager' has been mentioned and I wouldn't call him a teenager by a long shot, he looks much too small. The thing that troubles me is that if I spotted a bunch of kids smoking there's really nothing you can do, but after spotting the mum lighting a cigarette for another of her children, I think we can assume she knows full well that this young child is smoking. The anti social behaviour makes me think the worst as well and the mother is always f'ing and blinding at the kids when they walk past. I know full well I shouldn't assume about someone's family life purely on what you see on the outside but it's really hard not to notice.

OP posts:
Fuckup · 01/03/2015 16:28

Another one for ignore, you don't know the whole situation. Agree it looks bad, but it is difficult to stop teenagers smoking, some parents prefer to get them for their teens rather than than hang out with older teens to get them (particularly girls iyswim).

Fuckup · 01/03/2015 16:32

Sorry,I class 12/13 & 14/15 as teenagers no matter how physically small they are. But that aside you really don't want to make life difficult for yourself over this when I doubt there's that much that can or will be done unfortunately. BTW agree it looks bad.

LynetteScavo · 01/03/2015 16:35

He probably looks small because the nicotine has stunted his growth.

Or is that an urban myth from yesteryear?

climbing · 01/03/2015 16:41

Lynette I thought smoking was meant to age you prematurely?

Are you sure he's 10/11 OP?

Not 5/6 but fag-haggard?

Janethegirl · 01/03/2015 16:45

Whilst I don't condone smoking at any age, I think SS have more important things to do than worry about kids smoking.

PrettyFeet · 01/03/2015 17:12

Whilst I find it sad (smoker myself)

Its really nothing to "report".

I'd mind my own business.

ahbollocks · 01/03/2015 17:20

So sad :( they probably wont be able to do anything but I would report iy anonymously, at least you will know that you tried to help

sparkysparkysparky · 01/03/2015 17:26

Off topic but a close relative started at 13 and gave up at 79. Said relative now has COPD. Because of the fags. But every fag free day is a bonus.

Middlerose · 01/03/2015 17:45

That's awful OP. I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation.

I find it shocking that teenagers can afford to smoke nowadays with the rising cost of ciggerettes! If it is any consolation, I am sure that a 10 year old can only afford to buy a few!

Selks · 01/03/2015 18:45

Ilovesooty "I taught in secondary schools for 23 years and never came across a school nurse"

I am very surprised to hear you say that. I work alongside school nurses every day in my professional capacity. Most if not all schools have a school nurse attached to them. I would have thought any teacher would be aware of that.

The school nurse is not based in the school and covers several schools, and it is admittedly an overstretched service, but it exists alright. Here is some info should you want it.