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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be thinking "autism" for the second time.

9 replies

stopgap · 28/02/2015 19:56

Posted here, obviously, for traffic volume.

DS1 was diagnosed ASD a few months ago, aged 3.4. He was an exceedingly difficult baby, refluxy, overwhelmed to the point of screaming when faced with many different stimuli, he pointed very late, had a half-bum shuffle instead of crawling, had to be rocked vigorously under a muslin blanket to fall asleep etc. etc. The ASD is mild, in that his language and comprehension skills are normal/above normal, he's very affectionate with me and DH, but he has zero social skills with other kids, has lots of repetitive and stereotype behaviours etc. and his rigidity and meltdowns can be epic.

DS2 is 13 months. He has been a very easy baby. He laughed, smiled, rolled over etc. right on time, but over the last couple of months, my mind has started to drift to ASD. (I guessed ASD for DS1 at four months, crazy as that might sound.) His eye contact has become very fleeting, he enjoys looking at my mouth move rather than into my eyes, he doesn't walk, clap, point, say mama or dada, doesn't lift his arms to be picked up, and though he babbles somewhat (and I believe he babbled more at 10-11 months), his predominant noise is a rather monotonous and frequent "uuuuuurrrghh". He does seek me out and make that noise to be picked up, he sometimes but often while looking away, and he loves instigating peek a boo with the curtain, but there's a nagging feeling that something is not quite right. The lack of gestures is the thing that concerns me most.

We are in the US, so I can seek out a developmental pediatric opinion with a fairly short wait time, but I'm wondering, do I take a wait-and-see approach for, say, six more months, or get on it ASAP.

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 28/02/2015 20:00

I would go with my gut instinct.

If you feel something isn't as it should be, seek help.

MrsTawdry · 28/02/2015 20:09

Well I'd seek help now but be aware that your radar is good but it may also be on such high alert that you're seeing things that aren't there.

My friend's 4 year old had a DX at 3 and she was paranoid about her 2nd child until just recently. Her 2nd child is a girl and was slow to hit many milestones...she's over 2 and only just walking and talking with any real skill...her language is probably slightly below average but she's fine we think.

My friend wonders if it's because she was so focused on helping her elder son with his Autism that her little one was delayed but I tend to think not...a child in a healthy, caring home with plenty of stimuli will develop as she's meant to anyway....what you describe could be nothing...Flowers it doesn't seem particularly like ASD to me.

stopgap · 28/02/2015 20:22

Your last paragraph is me all over, Mrs Tawdry. I have been so wrapped up in a year of torment, frustration, referrals and ultimately a diagnosis, that I haven't had the time to dedicate myself to DS2 the way I did with DS1.

I read so many books to DS1. When he was ten months, he was obsessed with me reading to him, and we got through 30-40 short books a day. I have wondered if that's why his language skills developed normally, or whether the obsession for language/stories/plays is part of the ASD, and it would have happened regardless.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 28/02/2015 20:44

It can be hard for the siblings of children with ASD. I have seen one child who was assessed based on, very good, mimicry of their older sibling with ASD. They had some needs but part of who your child is is formed by their interactions. If DS2 spends a lot of time with DS1, some of what you see could be what DS2 has picked up.

TheNoodlesIncident · 28/02/2015 21:26

I read so many books to DS1. When he was ten months, he was obsessed with me reading to him, and we got through 30-40 short books a day. I have wondered if that's why his language skills developed normally, or whether the obsession for language/stories/plays is part of the ASD, and it would have happened regardless.

I'm sure your reading to him has helped him, but the opposite is not necessarily true - my DS didn't like my reading aloud to him because of the language impairment aspect of his autism. He didn't understand what we were saying so he didn't want to hear it. So the language obsession of your DS is part of HIS autism. Language impairment or lack of is the criteria difference between Aspergers and HFA.

I would listen to your nagging feeling. If it turns out to be groundless, there is no harm done.

MrsTawdry · 28/02/2015 21:52

I also agree with MrsPratchett. My friend's DD does imitate her brother and that includes some of his less desirable behaviour unfortunately....but again it wont' stick. The little girl is only 2 and so is copying everthing she encounters...including her brother's anxiety around spills and mess...but it won't last we don't think, once she gets to nursery she will stop being so sponge like in relation to him as she will have a lot of other DC to look at.

Crocodopolis · 28/02/2015 21:56

Get on it ASAP. The earlier the intervention, the better.

Babiecakes11 · 28/02/2015 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 28/02/2015 23:02

DS2 has ASD, DS3 is very quirky, I would say lots of traits but nothing that would be DXed. Your DC2 does have a much higher probability of some sort of ASD as a sibling of your DC1, as you know. I wouldn't be complacent, if you can get a referral I'd go for it. My DS2 and 3 are like chalk and cheese but that doesn't mean they are not both on the spectrum.

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