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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Occasionally to wish DP had a different job.

22 replies

Muttermuttermutter · 27/02/2015 22:26

NCed - also I know IABU as I knew what I was getting into etc etc and it's nowhere near as bad as some people have to put up with (military etc)

BUT

DP is a policeman, and I'm sitting at home alone on Friday night (as per) and have just got a text to say he has been hurt attempting to arrest someone so is off to hospital. The person also got hurt so once he's done at hospital he will spend the night doing paperwork and is unlikely to get home on time (5am). Between the crap shifts, the relatively crap pay, the constant nagging worry he'll get hurt and the general feeling that nobody appreciates what he does anyway - so much media coverage of the police is negative about the individuals themselves, unlike other organisations where failings tend to be put down to the institution - I just occasionally wish he could do something else.

But I'm proud of him really. Just worried and therefore annoyed. Grr.

OP posts:

Creatureofthenight · 27/02/2015 22:29

YANBU to feel this. I expect it is very common for other halves of those who work in the emergency services. For what it's worth, I'm glad he's there doing the job.

ThingOfThePast · 27/02/2015 22:29

YANBU. I'm sure I'd be the same. I appreciate the job he does though and hope he is ok. x

Bowlersarm · 27/02/2015 22:29

YANBU, I applaud your Dh for what he does, but must be awful for you waiting and worrying at home. If it's what he loves to do though, I don't think there is anything you can do apart from worry unfortunately.

EatDessertFirst · 27/02/2015 22:30

My DP is a PCO and one of my best friends is married to a policeman. I feel your pain!

Every time the phone rings and his work number comes up I pray that its his voice on the other end.

I hope your DP is ok .

RocketCat77 · 27/02/2015 22:32

I feel for you.
I have a friend in the police force and I worry about her, let alone a partner, if you know what i mean, but she loves the job.
Can't offer any advice, although your partner is doing an honourable job that majority of people wouldn't have the courage to do in a month of Sundays, and you are right to be proud.
The police have to put up with far too much negativity in my opinion.

engeika · 27/02/2015 22:34

That's hard OP and I can see why you feel as you do.

FWIW I think that most people in the police do a great job - one I wouldn't be prepared to or able to do. I know that if I am in trouble I'll ring 999 and someone will be there from the police to help. That's a good thing.

Maybe he won't be doing this for ever but for now you are right to be proud of him and at least you have MN for company on Friday nights!

engeika · 27/02/2015 22:34

ps = hope he is ok

ToodlesMcToodles · 27/02/2015 22:41

I hear you and can empathise. Their shifts truly are shit and anti social aren't they. I hope he's ok.

Although it seems like everyone moans about the police all the time I'm sure deep down they are appreciated.

Original poster

Muttermuttermutter · 27/02/2015 22:46

Thanks all - I think I do forget most people don't have as negative a view of the police as is portrayed in the media and held by DH's family who are mortified by his chosen career .

Further texts have clarified that he's just had a head cut that probably looks worse than it is. So somewhat relieved!!

Nights like this though make me sort of wish that everyone who wants to get leglessly drunk and aggressive could be rounded up into a giant enclosure and left to it without interference in a kind of Darwinian experiment. It would transform my weekend evenings...

OP posts:

Original poster

Muttermuttermutter · 27/02/2015 22:47

Now I'm definitely BU...

OP posts:

craftysewer · 27/02/2015 22:47

I understand where you are coming from (wife of retired officer and mother of a new officer). It's almost like being a single parent isn't it? You run your life in tandem to theirs and then occasionally you manage to meet up and enjoy a couple of days together. You can't rely on them to be home on time and as you say with all the changes, the pay isn't brilliant either. Sorry he's been hurt and hope it's not serious. Hang on in there

DogAteIt · 27/02/2015 22:48

I'm the same, I think it's the third weekend in a row he's worked. Although I don't mind the night shifts so much. I don't let myself worry about him too much, although I do find myself reaching an arm out at about 4.30am in the bed to check if he's home - he's due to finish at 3am and those shifts are the ones I hate - 5pm -3am over weekends - he's good for nothing over those days.

To be honest I don't feel inordinately proud of him, he does what he loves, he's good at it, but he chose it.

SlaggyIsland · 27/02/2015 22:49

I appreciate very much what your husband does.

fearandloathinginambridge · 27/02/2015 22:50

YANBU. I don't know any police officers personally not have I been in a situation tat has required me to engage with the police (touch wood). I watched 24 hours in police custody on C4 and came away with a lot of respect and sympathy for the men and women that do this job.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 27/02/2015 22:51

I'm from a police family op. I have my doubts about the direction policing is taking in this country but that doesn't stop me being enormously grateful for the work of the men and women out on the frontline - especially the Friday night frontline . Glad it doesn't sound too serious and hope you get some rest tonight

TheFairyCaravan · 27/02/2015 22:52

DH and DS1 are military and I don't always have it worse, tbh. Sometimes it's really, really shit but somethimes its okay.

I totally get you wrt the negative comments. A lot of people don't respect the military any more because "they know what they are getting themselves into". And they blame them for the wars not the Government because it's easier to.

YANBU to wish your DH was in another job, I do it often enough.

PeppermintCrayon · 27/02/2015 22:54

Yanbu. Really grateful to people who do the job but understand it must be hard for their families.

sillymillyb · 27/02/2015 22:54

Ah I'm glad you have heard from him that he is ok. My ex was a copper and I hated that background worry all the time. He was called up to Rothbury when the roul moat stand off was going on (he was armed response) and I sat feeling physically sick while it all unfolded on the tv in front of me. I'm dating again now, and I've purposefully avoided those whose occupation is the police as I just don't want to live like that again. It's a lifestyle for you as much as them! That being said,I'm bloody glad we have people your dh in the job - it takes a strength to deal with the crap they have to, I know I couldn't do it. For you, hope he's home soon

Squeezepast · 27/02/2015 22:56

Yanbu at all! I hope your DH is ok. It must be really difficult worrying about him every time he goes to work, not to mention the general rubbishness of shifts, pay etc. Hope he isn't too late back.

TheFairyCaravan · 27/02/2015 22:56

Hope your DH is ok, btw and his injuries aren't too serious

magimedi · 27/02/2015 22:58

I am pleased to hear he is OK & just want to say that I appreciate the job he does.

And I'm (nearly) in agreement with you about the drunk tank.

ArmyDad · 27/02/2015 23:15

Normally I would say that sympathy can be found between shit and syphilis in the dictionary. I am a soldier and have felt underappreciated but that is nothing when compared to the police. I'm glad that he's ok.

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