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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Personalised gift with name misspelt. Should I say something?

44 replies

Primafacie · 26/02/2015 23:07

DD turned 6 recently. She has a name that has multiple 'regular' spellings (think Carrie/Kerry). My DSis, who lives abroad, sent her an embroidered towel with the wrong spelling. It's a very different spelling.

DSis is not dyslexic. I don't know why she always spells DD's name wrong. I've never pointed it out to her as I didn't want to be rude. Feeling a bit silly about it now.

I appreciate her sending something, it is very generous and thoughtful. But I'm sure DD will notice when she opens her gift.

WWYD? Our next door neighbours have a DD with the 'other' spelling and a birthday coming up. Should I regift, and buy DD the same present but with the right spelling?

OP posts:

QuintessentiallyInShade · 27/02/2015 10:09

Can you perhaps just make it less formal and go with:

"Dear Sis,
Thank you for the gift which she absolutely adores and is having fun using.
We did have a giggle at the incorrect spelling though, but dd really does not mind.
Lots of love
Sis"

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 27/02/2015 10:14

Fair enough DD loves it and wants to keep it but I'll be honest that persistent misspelling would drive me mad. I admit I came a cropper with three relatives'/friends' DCs called Alastair, Alistair and Alasdair .

Hakluyt · 27/02/2015 10:17

i think I would ask your mum to tell her. Or a mutual friend. It's very hard to say "thank you but you're wrong" in the same letter!

Hakluyt · 27/02/2015 10:19

I have two nieces with the same birthday - one Catherine and one Katharine. I think. I might have got the a and e the wrong way round............

Ijustworemytrenchcoat · 27/02/2015 10:23

I'm curious to know the name. If it was something like Elizabeth/Elisabeth or Claire/Clare she may just have bought it off the shelf and thought it wouldn't make much difference. Does she also spell your daughter's name wrong in birthday and Christmas cards? That would annoy me tbh.

Does she think hers is the 'correct' version and you have chosen a deliberately awkward version? She is maybe trying to make a point if she does know the correct spelling as she has seen it written down a lot in cards etc. if that is the case I would point it out to her.

HazleNutt · 27/02/2015 10:26

it's your own sister, of course you should tell her if she got your daughter's name wrong.

slanleat · 27/02/2015 10:42

My brother used to get my son's name wrong on cards. Instead of using the traditional spelling he went with what can only be called an 'americanism'.

He stopped when I did it back to him and used very bad versions of his kids names.... Very childish of me but

Clarinet9 · 27/02/2015 10:46

Your plan sounds great I'd definitely regift it if you can it is of no use to you. But Carrie and Kerry are totally different names. You absolutely have to tell her by the way, she may not even realise.

My SIL spells one of my dcd name wrong we tell her every time she doesn't change it!

CharityD · 27/02/2015 11:04

... called Alastair, Alistair and Alasdair .

I used to work with an Alistair. I invariably typed Alastair on emails, I always corrected it.
I have no idea why I always typed it one way, instead of another. Plus sometimes I would even be responding to emails, where his name would be right in front of me...

Also worked with a boss who had the same name as me, one letter different in spelling, both correct. She always typed my name in the format that she herself used. Better still, or worse , other people on the team also started spelling my name 'her' way...even though I had been there long before her.
She eventually copped it, and got it right.

I would tell your sis, I am guessing it's a 'blind spot' of some sort, as presumably she has often seen the child's name written down.

celineybeanie · 27/02/2015 11:33

Surely if she's your sister you could tell her about the spelling without too many problems??

RedButtonhole · 27/02/2015 11:36

Just a thought, is it possible that this gift was bought with the name already on it, rather than your sister having it specifically personalised for your DD.

My fairly ordinary name has two common spellings and one less common. I often ended up with pens, mugs and tshirts with the more common spelling of my name as gifts as my spelling just wasnt available.

NotLoveActually · 27/02/2015 12:23

At least it's only the spelling. I work with a Mark, but from the first day I met him, can't get past it. Alan keeps popping in my head, and I may have called him that a few times

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 27/02/2015 12:39

I think if she's going to continue sending personalised gifts, it needs a gentle mention.

But then my dad spells both mine and DD's names wrong (but he is a notoriously bad speller) and we just laugh about it without correcting him.

And one of my neighbours has called me Vicky for at least 7 years......... that's not remotely like my actual name, it's got to the point where I just answer to it now.

So, I'm not really the best person to offer advice

AmateurSeamstress · 27/02/2015 13:08

I like Quint's idea for how to tell your SIL. If I told her at all it should be in a way that doesn't make her feel obliged to go and buy a new present. This is very hard to do, but I think Quint's wording might just manage it.

Another option is let your DD open the gift and give her the choice between keeping it or "selling" it to you for the party gift stash (from which you'll give to neighbour). She gets the choice of the towel or a few quid (party gift rate), you are not so out of pocket, gift still gets used.

QuintessentiallyInShade · 27/02/2015 13:56

Oh not really my idea, I just modified what TeenAndTween suggested, but thanks.

Original poster

Primafacie · 27/02/2015 19:07

Wow, loads of replies! In the grand scheme of things it is such a small thing, I don't want to embarrass DSis by mentioning it to her. It would seem unkind, especially as she has made the effort to send something (and have it personalised). I think I will wait until I next see her. Sadly it may be years...
DD is really happy with her gift though. Turns out it is a bathrobe, not a towel.
DD is doing a thank you card to send her auntie (who is also her godmother, and they share a birthday!). Perhaps it will sink in this time? :)

OP posts:

countessmarkyabitch · 27/02/2015 19:13

Carrie and Kerry are 2 totally different names/

catsrus · 27/02/2015 19:23

"And one of my neighbours has called me Vicky for at least 7 years......... that's not remotely like my actual name, it's got to the point where I just answer to it now." oh god I do that to a neighbour - she's a Susan and for some weird reason I always call her my sister's name and as it comes out of my mouth I know it's wrong. There's another woman I've known for 20 yrs and I KNOW she's not called Margot, her name doesn't even begin with M but that's the name that always pops into my head and I struggle to get beyond it....so weird

Thumbwitch · 27/02/2015 22:12

Re the "wrong name" thing - I used to be a cox for a team of 4 male rowers. One was tall, fair and slim, the other was short, dark and stocky. One was called Tim, one called Andy. Which way round would you think they were?

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