Grumpy partners/husbands

[LeoAnni]

Lol does anyone have one of these? I love mine to bits but at times he drives me mad with his fussiness/grumpiness. So, if he's not moaning about parking/traffic/building work/the state of the country, he's moaning about things indoors that aren't perfect. Well today after five years of hearing his grumbles I feel the need to moan too.

I won't make it a habit and I don't want to moan to friends online or at work but I do need to let it out. So please forgive my moan and do empathise/stick up for him if you wish please.

Today he was moaning, as he regularly does about my daughter(aged 13), putting her feet up on the settee( with her socks on), as he feels that settees are meant for sitting up properly on. I personally, quite often put my feet up but he cannot tell me off as I always put my feet at an angle so the soles aren't touching the settee. But he always tells the kids off and says they are naughty and that they do it on purpose just to annoy him. The fact is, before we met him we always relaxed how we wished on our settee with our feet up so its more a habit that's hard to break.

Anyway I was just wondering what other people feel about this so that I can tell him. He thinks I'm wrong when I say that I believe many people like to put their feet up rather than sit up right all the time. Am I right?

I'm with you, I'm typing this with my feet up on the sofa. If you can't put your feet up and relax in your own home where can you. I always take my shoes off first though

I can't think of anyone I know who doesn't put their feet up and get comfy sometimes. And we were not all raised by wolves.

Oh sorry, I can think of one. I don't think I've ever seen my Dad do it. Mum, yes. But then my Dad wears a shirt and tie every single day even though he's retired, even when gardening. He would wear a shirt and tie and blazer to go and sit on the beach. In other words, my Dad is a chap born in the 1920s, who isn't comfortable changing from what everyone did when he was young. He never stopped the rest of us being less formal and he knew he was a bit funny.

Is it his sofa? Is it his role to make the rules for your child's behaviour? Was he born in 1920? Is your daughter doing somersaults and jumping on the sofa?

He is being ridiculous.

And it's wrong to have one rule for him and her, and another rule for you. Are you going to stop doing it as well?

I had a grumpy dh, and rhen i decided to put the silver lining on all his moans. So moaning about roadworks turned to isnt it wonderful that the govt are investing in the infradtructure? It seemed to do the trick.

I've taken to calling mine Victor, he doesn't like it but it does make him think about his grumpy negative behaviour.

Yes yes yes I have a grumpy one.
The weather ( in this country ) the traffic ( in this country ) the politicians ( in this country ) parking, television, don't get me started on teenager' s habits.
He somehow feels there is somewhere better he could live where these issues don't arise.
Thing is we did live abroad for a few years, and of course everywhere has things to moan about if that's your nature, but if it's not your permanent home maybe things don't bother you so much.
YANBU living with a moaner is tedious.

AND he's taken to explaining everything to me...... Like I'm a fucking 2 year old. I'm 44 for gods sakes!

I always sit on the sofa with my feet up and - shock horror with my soles touching it (not with shoes on though). So does everyone else, including friends.
Tell him to put a sock in it

I agree with you. But when I once told my DH what people on here thought about something to support my argument (a post I didn't start though), it didn't go down well. It was very much 'I don't care what a bunch of strangers think etc etc'.

Where's the rest of this thread gone?? I posted on here earlier and there were loads more posts?

Oh, OP started 2 threads, I see now

How abut asking him whats up, if this wasn't how he was previously. It could be a product of something else?

So many loud calls in this modern age for men to be free to express their emotions, but suddenly when they do it's redefined as surliness or grumpiness.

Better when we all had upper lips you could bounce tank shells off, methinks.

My DH is lovely but has a tendency to come home a bit grumpy sometimes and groan and sigh and moan as if he had all the cares of the world on his shoulders. I can almost predict his first words when he gets in will be "Oh dear!" However he is usually over it ithin an hour or two of getting in.

Re the sofa thing. Perfectly normal to sit with your feet up but I believe it is more of a woman thing to do that. I do it, DD does it but I have never, ever seen DH do it. Maybe it is something to do with the shape of their hips? DH doesn't object though. On the contrary if I put my feet near him he will usually give me a foot massage! (Told you he was lovely really!)

Mine can moan ENDLESSLY but nowadays if I point it out he says sorry and acts cheerful for a few minutes till something else annoys him.

As per your question, I think how you and your dd sit is none of his business and he shouldn't be controlling things like this at all! My dh used to try do that as well but he wasn't allowed to control us and now we get along so much better. If he hadn't changed I would have left him - nearly did a few times but he realised and changed his controlling ways, fought like cat and dog over it, we did!!