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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been touched that these women spoke English in front of me?

33 replies

LuckyLopez · 26/02/2015 21:57

Today at school I was passing the time chatting to another mum in the playground. We're not especially friends but have children in the same class.

A few minutes later her friend joined us and they chatted about their half term holidays and both had trips back to their native country. Both women have fairly broken English and I know if I wasn't stood there they would have spoken in their first language as any of us would. I was genuinely touched that they continued in English so I felt included.
Telling a friend later about it, she looked at me like my head just fell off and rolled down the road... Wasn't it nice of them? She says she wouldn't have noticed but i did because I could see how much they were trying, presumably only as I was hanging about listening.

OP posts:
iniquity · 26/02/2015 21:59

It was nice of them ... Most other people in this situation wouldn't bother.

TooMuchRain · 26/02/2015 22:01

I don't think it's a big deal - nor would I have found it impolite if they had greeted each other in another language. Multilingualism is the norm for most people.

StayGoldPonyBoy · 26/02/2015 22:02

I think that's nice, too. I had a Polish friend growing up who's family would all speak in broken English best they could in their own home so I could understand. Her parents struggled especially. We taught eachother bits of our languages at the dinner table. I loved that family, I was heartbroken when they moved awaySad

NeedABumChange · 26/02/2015 22:28

It's nice but really it's just basic manners isn't it?

Original poster
LuckyLopez · 26/02/2015 22:31

Is it? Maybe. Ive been in many situations where it hasn't happened including distant relatives.

OP posts:
carabos · 26/02/2015 22:34

toomuchrain multilingualism is the norm for most people? Eh? Confused In which galaxy is that? Very few people in UK are multilingual.

vjg13 · 26/02/2015 22:37

I think it shows good manners, which as a grumpy old woman, I find rarer and rarer!

WorraLiberty · 26/02/2015 22:42

I don't know how to answer this really Grin

My first thought was that it was practical of them because if you're stood in a group talking to everyone in the group, you'd have to speak a language that everyone understood, otherwise what's the point in talking to that group of people?

My second thought was that yes, if they only did it because they wanted to make you feel included, it was very thoughtful of them.

Then I had a third thought and this might be unfair of me, but it was that your thread sounds a bit 'gushy' and probably not something most other people would give a thought to starting Blush

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 26/02/2015 22:42

It was either good manners, or they are working hard to improve their English!

dun1urkin · 26/02/2015 22:42

I was at a wedding in Germany a few years ago, and when I went outside for a cig, a group of the German guests (it was a German/English wedding) switched from speaking in German to speaking to each other in English.
I wasn't taking part in their conversation at all, they were just being polite. I was uber impressed see what I did there!!

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 26/02/2015 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MargotLovedTom · 26/02/2015 22:53

I would also love to know where multilingualism is the norm for most people. I'd be amazed if 'most people' were even bilingual.

I think it is manners tbh. If I lived in Spain and could manage broken Spanish while talking to a Spanish person, I wouldn't automatically switch to English when joined by an English person if the Spanish person was still standing with us (that is a horribly clumsy sentence but you know what I mean!).

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 26/02/2015 22:58

I made friends with a polish woman and got invited to her dd's birthday party (with my dd!). I was the only English person there, and there were I think 7 other adults. They spent the entire party speaking English to each other, just because I was there. I was really touched.

Galvanized · 26/02/2015 23:04

I would also love to know where multilingualism is the norm for most people. I'd be amazed if 'most people' were even bilingual.

what really, you really think this?! Globally most people are at least bilingual. That's common knowledge surely. The UK is an anomaly.

MargotLovedTom · 26/02/2015 23:11

I was talking about the idea of multilingualism being the norm for most people in the UK.

OhNoNotPooAgain · 26/02/2015 23:15

I once went on the hen night of a Finnish friend, I ended up being the only non-Finnish person left in the group later on and they all continued speaking in English to include me, they were so lovely and polite (even after several skinfuls!)

hmc · 26/02/2015 23:20

I think that is lovely too OP - okay, it is just manners, but I am always delighted to see good manners

Galvanized · 26/02/2015 23:21

No one said that though Margot

anya79 · 26/02/2015 23:23

In Wales they're bilingual right, i can't even read the road signs when i go North wales. In all the major uk cities there will be a lot of bilingual folks, Poles, Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Chinese, Malays, Spanish, Italians etc. Polish must be the most popular Language in scotland after Scots there's a huge population of Polish over here, i don't mind honestly just stating facts ;)

Scotland- braid scots or scottish gaelic. My kids have been learning scots i love it!

cornish i think? pretty sure.

Irish celtic. That's all i can think of as major ones.

You guys are so emotional about it lol It would be rude if they continued speaking an alien language when they had the ability to speak English, even if it was broken.

In Northern america after English Spanish is the second most popular language.

MargotLovedTom · 26/02/2015 23:31

TooMuchRain didn't say globally either though, Galvanised!

I would actually be interested to see statistics relating to bilingualism and multilingualism (as in being fluent in another langauage) in this country.

HootOnTheBeach · 26/02/2015 23:31

Well,I don't think it was done to make you feel special, probably to try and not be rude - or at least avoid comments about "bloody unreasonable foreigners coming over here and talking foreign in front of me when I can't understand them - what if they're talking about me!" Which incidentally is what I grew up with. I'd be telling my mum about my day and there was always someone who thought they were being bitched about by a 7 year old Hmm

MargotLovedTom · 26/02/2015 23:32

By the way, that second sentence was merely musing it over and not demanding someone provide me with statistics forthwith.

MargotLovedTom · 26/02/2015 23:34

language not langauage

MargotLovedTom · 26/02/2015 23:36

"In 2005, the European Commission carried out a survey of the European Union's 25 member states. The two with the lowest rates of bilingualism - defined as being able to hold a conversation in more than one language - were the UK and Ireland. About two-thirds of people in these countries speak only English." From New Scientist May 2012

sashh · 27/02/2015 06:03

toomuchrain multilingualism is the norm for most people? Eh? confused In which galaxy is that? Very few people in UK are multilingual.

Malaysia, Hong Kong, parts of Wales, most of Africa, Argentina, Scandinavia, Switzerland, any where in Europe that shares a land boarder eg German is spoken in Northern Italy, French is spoken in Northern Spain, Catalonia, lots of Caribbean Islands, Mauritius.....

In Singapore all education is in English but most people speak a different language at home, which they also learn at school but as a separate lesson from maths, science, arts etc.

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