to wish I didn't have to organise every single thing!

[Mascarocharl]

Sorry I'm pissed off so I might be being unreasonable. A dinner was arranged between me and two friends.

I was the one who arranged the date to make sure we were all free that evening.

Earlier this week (in a group message) "any ideas on where we should go eat?"

Neither suggest anywhere, so then it's left to me to decide.

And now today theres another group text saying, "whats the plan? time?"

I suggest 7.

I get the reply - "whenever "

Aibu to be annoyed that I have to suggest the date, time and place. Neither of them attempted to do any of the three.

Yes you are. You allow yourself to be walked over. Don't do it if it's pissing you off..

Well your only other option is to sit back and let them organise stuff.

If you think that's unlikely but you still want to see them then you have to decide whether you can make your peace with being the organiser. If the annoyance:worthiness ratio is to high you have to set a boundary and stick to it, i.e tell them their lack of input makes you feel taken for granted and you won't be organising next time. That comes with the risk of drifting apart though so prepare yourself.

Sadly you can't make people change. I'm not a massive organiser simply because I'm not sociable enough to want to do lots. Occasionally something will catch my eye and I'll sort it all out, but I suspect that amongst my friends I probably have the longest tolerance for not going out. So I'm happy with meet ups every three months or so (with chats, texts etc in between) whereas a friend of mine gets the jitters if she's not out at least twice a week.... Maybe you're on a shorter tolerance and just get going before anyone else.

This was me too until recently. It drove me mad but it seemed to be the role I have assumed. Thing is, if I didn't organise everyone, things just didn't happen. I have a group of friends who I used to go out with regularly, proper nights out drinking and dancing or whatever. I organised literally every occasion. If I didn't then we'd end up meeting at the station and then hanging about for ages while people tried to decide where to go. INFURIATING.

Then recently for several reasons, I stopped organising. I stopped wanting to socialise and go out as much, (have had some depression/anxiety issues and have not felt like leaving the house lost days) so it didn't really bother me if things were planned or not. And things just stopped happening. I haven't been out properly with the group for months, and as far as I know they haven't been out without me.

Each time something was organised with someone I would swear to myself that I wouldn't sort everyone out this time, but then I would get fruatrated with the constant "I don't mind where we go, you decide!" and end up giving in and making a plan.

It can work in your favour though, I have had several meals out at the place 2 mins walk from my house, hey if I'm organising might as well make it easy for me!

What frustrates me is when people say they don't mind, and then moan about what someone else chooses. Another reason I've retired from organising!

The world is divided into two - the organisers and the "I don't mind" sheep. Know which one I'd rather be!