Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu never dating again

13 replies

crazylady12 · 25/02/2015 23:45

Until my youngest (13 months) is old enough to look after herself I have split up with her dad and he has nothing to do with her no family well am very close to my mum but she works long hours and its starting to take its toll on her health I couldn't put that on her am only 23 and going to be siNgle for ever I know there's worst things but it gets me abit down and a Very distant friend just told me to get a grip

OP posts:
WingsofNylon · 25/02/2015 23:51

Doesn't sound like much of a friend! Sorry to hear you are feeling down about it but don't rule out meeting someone. Maybe focus on building a network of friends si that you still get out?

Original poster
crazylady12 · 25/02/2015 23:56

I don't really have any friends just 2 women I only talk to in play group I have been like that since I was about 11 don't know why I struggle to make friends I think that's why not having a partner is worse if I had people to do things with it probably wouldn't be as bad the only thing I do with an adult in the week is take my Nan for a cup of tea ha x

OP posts:
cogitosum · 26/02/2015 00:08

Your youngest is so young (and so are you )

There is so much time don't rule anything out now. You never know what's round the corner.

wickedlazy · 26/02/2015 00:17

Do your mum or nan have any friends with reliable daughters/grandaughters who would do a bit of cheap baby sitting for you? Maybe at your mums with her keeping an ear out? I think you can still date (even if more for some adult companionship than anything) even if you don't want to introduce anyone to your dd? You don't want to turn into martyr, your daughter could end up feeling guilty or if you felt resentful (that you felt you couldn't date because of her) she could pick up on it. It's great you've got talking to ladies at playgroup. Maybe invite them over for a play date? When she starts nursery/school, you could do some volunteer work while you have a few hours free. That's always a great way to meet new people.

EatShitDerek · 26/02/2015 00:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wickedlazy · 26/02/2015 00:28

I volunteered at a charity shop when I was 15. The cute assistant manager and I flirted like mad (he was 19) but he didn't try to kiss me until I turned 16 (bless him, he said it wouldn't have been right before then) so definitely can be a way to meet men. And I made a few friends/got friendly with regular customers too. Could you put your youngest in a day care a few hours a week? On re reading it seems like you are in real need of some you time.

EatShitDerek · 26/02/2015 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
crazylady12 · 26/02/2015 00:38

Wicked don't worry I would never let them think that and I am not resentful in any way there my world and much more important than men it would just be nice to date ha I will probably put her in when she's slightly older want her home with me for as long as possible it's just the thought of trying to date with children is so much more complicated there's a lot more to think about I used to volunteer in an animal shelter I loved but not possible at the moment me times what's that ha I was scooping baby poop up out the bottom of the shower this morning while trying to wash my hair

OP posts:
wickedlazy · 26/02/2015 01:22

I get that, my ds was never in one, wanted him with me for as long as possible. But even when we broke up his dad had him two nights a week, and I got (and get) a lot of me time because he goes to my mums on a friday night (family tradition, we went to her mums on a saturday). And his other granny is always free to mind him. So had I not had the support I did, I defo would have had to put him in daycare, or I would have went stir/toddler crazy. Especially in autumn/ winter when the weather is awful and you can't take them out much, and are stuck in the house a lot. Not long to go until you feel comfortable putting her in, then hopefully you do get a bit of you time. And the chance to have a shower in peace! (And if you're like me, go to the toilet. Even now ds wants to sit on the edge of the bath and chat. Really need to get a lock put on up high on door lol). As a pp said you're still young (we're young should I say, I'm 23 soon) and have loads of time to find a lovely bloke. You never know what's around the corner. I dated when me and dp broke up, but nothing serious, and swore it would be a good while before anyone met ds, 6 months at least (but then me and dp got back together so never had to deal with that). You sound like a lovely person, and a great mum to your dc's, so you should have some good karma coming your way Smile

Coyoacan · 26/02/2015 03:16

Oh, OP. I was much older than you when I had my dd as a single parent and as it turned out I never did have another relationship, but I seem to be part of a very small minority (and I don't mind). However I presume all your DCs are quite small and that is the age that they adapt best to another man. You are still young, don't write yourself off yet. Enjoy your children but also get out there and make friends. If you meet someone and hit it off give it a chance, if you don't, enjoy your children.

MidniteScribbler · 26/02/2015 03:44

I'm much older than you, but I have a 3yo DS that I had as a single parent (I used a donor). At this stage, I am not seeking a relationship. IF, and only IF, the absolute perfect man came along, then it would only be perfect if he were to fit in with my life as it currently is. I'm not interested in kissing a lot of frogs. Do what makes you happy.

RandomNPC · 26/02/2015 08:38

EatShitDerek, AIBU to think that you were loads older than that? Blush

Original poster
crazylady12 · 26/02/2015 09:01

Tgankyou everyone and thanks for your kind words wicked. i love that you have made that decision and are happy and confident with it midnight. Random I thought the same obviously Very mature and wise eatshitderek Smile

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page