To not be overjoyed for my DH (lighthearted)

[ADogCalledLamb]

Every sodding morning my DH tells me how much better he feels for having a good sleep and I'm expected to be happy for him.

We have a DS 7yrs and a DD 4months. DS has had D&V for the past few days, DD is bf and a bottle refuser and I'm just getting over a fourth bout of hideous infective mastitis. I sleep in the baby's room so DH won't be disturbed (and it takes away my urge to smother him when he's sleeping peacefully and I'm trying to feed/change/settle DD for the umpteenth time!) DD feeds 2 hourly.

He has a demanding job but comes home to a meal, quick play with the children, I put them to bed and he's free for the rest of the evening and night.

Should I be happy for him? AIBU in thinking that it's good that he's slept well but there's no need to tell me?!

I think you should be happy for him as you have written the words ' he has a DEMANDING Job. I think during the week he needs to sleep but at the weekend he could give you a break. I got a lie in on Saturdays.

I have had lots of DCs as and had a very demanding job. I am going to be flamed, but having experienced both I am afraid I think, despite everything( yelling kids, nappies, boredom etc ) it was easier for me to be at home.

At work I had line managers, targets, paperwork coming out of my ears. I literally very rarely got to eat lunch. Even making time for a poo was difficult. I missed all their Sportsdays ( my DH got to go as he worked Flexi time) it was very stressful.
At home, I could set my own pace. The kids went to playgroup. I had friends round for play dates. I could have a cup of tea and a biscuit etc.

YANBU in feeling resentful, but this stage passes and it will get easier. Try and relax and enjoy them. Envy is the thief of happiness. Xx

I've had a demanding job and have 3 dc.
For me, sleep deprivation is the worst!
Working was a breeze compared to sahp with no sleep.
I would go to bed this weekend for 12hrs each day and ask Dh to just bring dd for feeding (not winding & changing!).
Team work will get you through!

1. He needs to be more sensitive than to tell you how much better he feels for a good sleep.

1. He should help you with some of the night waking - i.e. take over with the baby once you have fed.

Dh and I both have demanding jobs. We have a 12 month old who obviously still wakes up sometimes.

Which of us is absolved from ever being disturbed in the night?

I think you should smother him

4yo and a 2yo: 2yo still doesn't sleep through and 4yo has started having night terrors - and they share a room so a big spiral of waking-upness. I usually end up sleeping on the floor in their room.

DH and I both have demanding jobs: I also have an hour's drive to get there.

DH is a bad sleeper. He quite frequently tells me how badly he has slept, despite the fact I'm the one who does all the night getting ups.

OP: I feel for you and I am not sure which is worse! I wish DH would sleep well as I am doing all the work - but then I don't think I'd want to hear about it if he did!

Masitsis is bloody horrible and makes you feel sooooo ill. I hope it has gone for good because I'm not sure I'd be coping in your position.

Thank you all for your replies (was my first post), you made me smile.

Don't tempt me Tread

His job is demanding but he takes it in his stride and he earns a six figure salary so I struggle to feel sorry for him! I just think that when he says he's tired, he doesn't know the meaning of the word! Competitive tiredness I guess.

(P.S Mumsnet has been my sanity over the past few months )

Aw you are going through one of the hardest times of your life but at least you are still able to be lighthearted.
I don't know any woman with small children who doesn't think they do more than any DH. I am not saying that some men exist who do do as much childrearing, housework and the other myriad organisational tasks that keep a house running smoothly, it's just that I dont know any.

It is the detail, women are good at. My DH will do anything if you give him a list or ask him to. However it is the detail that he falls down on.
For instance if he is ill in bed he gets nicely presented meals with maybe a special treat, on the tray.
If I am ill in bed, the washing will still be there when I get up. No cleaning will have been done etc etc. and don't get me started on the meals.....

It is the standing at the bedroom door when I am dying and him saying...... "do you feel hungry? " that's gets me. Of course I feel F........ Hungry. I am dying but why can't you read my mind and realise that I need delicate tasty food, before I die???
Instead I have to be grateful for food that tastes like shite that is served conjealed, during MOTD half time. Aw well C'est la vie. Plus sa change.

Women are good at it?! So should suck it up eh?

1952 responses or what?

Unless your DH is something like a brain surgeon he should do a share of night childcare.

It's good to know that I'm not alone, it is really tough.

Totally get what you mean about the food, not a clue! If I ask DH to do something, he'll do it (eventually) but only after I've explained how to cook it, wash it etc so it's easier just to do it myself.