...to think I shouldn't have to remind my family that it's my husband's birthday?

[NotActuallyAMum]

Every year it's the same - they all forget then when they see his cards I get "you should have remiiiiinded meeeee!"

Do they have to remind me when it's any of their or their army of kids' birthdays? No of course they don't! But they insist I should remind them

Are they right? Do other people do this?

Buy them a calendar for Christmas that you have pre-filled with all of your birthdays for the coming year :)

No my family is quite organised, I cannot remember anyone forgetting.....

Nope, my parents never remember DH's birthday- but then he's a bit bah humbug about birthdays anyway (his own, not mine!). I did give them a bit of a push to make an effort for his 40th though.

I have to admit that I only know one of my Sil birthday and that's only because it falls on a holiday day. My siblings don't worry about my dh birthday and I don't worry about my siblings partners birthday. It suits is all fine. I text the Sil who birthday I do know and only get her a gift if it's a big birthday.

I like the calendar idea but somehow I don't think that'd go down well

I just know I'm going to end up apologising for them all yet again. He will say don't worry it's not your fault but I do end up feeling bad about it every year

Is he actually concerned about it or are you ? My dh couldn't give a toss about his birthday. Do his own family remember.

Do they really need to remember his birthday? His parents and siblings should remember yes but his in laws? I think we all have enough birthdays, anniversaries, mothers days, fathers days etc. for our parents, siblings, OH's and children without in laws too. Plus adult birthdays are not really that much of a big deal for anyone other than maybe OH.

Why do you need to apologise for them? I don't think my parents buy my husband a birthday card abs my siblings definitely don't and vice-versa.

Is it that much of a big deal?

My parents would never remember DH's birthday in a month of sundays. DH doesn't care.

Why should you apologise? It's not your responsibility for them to remember.

He's only got his parents, who do always remember. He doesn't say much, just a sigh and "same again eh" or similar. I always get cards for them, their kids, partners and even partners kids. Some of them have got grandkids now too so they are also on my list, yet they still can't remember my husbands

I think YABVU. I don't know when most of my in-laws birthdays are and I would be shocked if they were upset about not getting a card from me. And similarly I would be shocked if I got a card from one of them for my b'day

I say sorry because I feel bad about them forgetting, DH wouldn't expect me to

I think your family should remember your DH's birthday for god's sake, if you're the type of extended family (and it sounds like you are) that does celebrate birthdays. Sounds to me lik3 they enjoy everyone remembering and making a fuss of their birthdays, but they don't seem able to extend that towards your DH. Poor form.

Yanbu. If you can be bothered to note all their birthdays, they should make an effort for your dhs. It's not that hard to put a note on their calendar.

I would stop sending cards to them.

That's what annoys me - I make such an effort to remember all of theirs (and my youngest brother alone has got, with partners and kids, a family of 12) yet there are only 2 of us and they forget one

Seems that some think it shouldn't be an issue though so perhaps I shouldn't worry too much

Birthdays just aren't important to some people. I have no idea when my various in-laws' birthdays are and would be surprised if they knew mine.

Not actually I'm sorry does your brother have 10 kids , I'm not surprised he doesn't remember

LOL no not 10 kids: brother+wife, 4 adult kids + partners and 2 of their kids have a baby

Birthdays don't matter in DH's family. I find it odd but if DH doesn't mind I'm not going to!

To be fair, my MiL sent all grandchildren a present on her birthday. The children enjoyed receiving a "random" cheque.

Birthdays are for kids surely. I don't know any birthdays of any adults outside of my direct family (DP DSis and DH)

I don't do birthday cards for DHs family (he may send one if he remembers), and he doesn't normally get cards from mine. I get cards from his step mum and mum though, which I find nice, but odd.

Well done you, remembering everyone's birthdays.
But yabu.