To think DP is not being unreasonable?

[ApignamedJasper]

DP's ex has recently found out she is pregnant, congrats to her!

Thing is, she seems to be expecting a parade from DP about it. She texted him five times 'just to check he got the message', made phone calls and even messaged his mum to get his response.

I think given the fact she is pregnant by the man she moved in to her house on the same day she broke up with DP understandably makes him a little bitter about the whole thing, in fact I think her making such a big deal about it is a little insensitive given the circumstances.

I can understand she is excited about the whole thing but she seems really put out that DP is not making a huge song and dance about it but I really think HINBU!

Am I bu and should he be making more of an effort to care? They do have a Ds together so the new baby will be his son's half brother/sister.

Tricky one - I can completely understand that he is not falling over himself to congratulate her, but at the same time I think there is a level of courtesy required when someone shares news that will have such a significant impact on their child.

Was she trying to get in touch before he heard it from elsewhere and that's why she was so keen to make sure he knew? Is she put out that he didn't make a 'song and dance' about it or that he completely failed to acknowledge the news initially?

No. It seems entirely odd of her to send multiple messages regarding a pregnancy. Really, why does she need to know his personal response? At some point she might want to discuss help with easing DS into feeling secure with a new subling around. But that is not a conversation that needs much time. Just a quick plan and possibly wants to cooordinate breaking the news to the son. But again. Really minimal.
When I was pregnant, the last person who I thought to share my excitement with was my ex. I've had 3 mc now, he's only known once (childcare need) and honestly were I to have a successful pregnancy I'd let my DD's break THEIR news. Because, well, I would be very surprised if he'd have any reaction other than about the DD's feelings on it (and he's over invested in my life in other areas).

HINBU.

However for the sake of future family politics, he needs to be the bigger person, send her his congratulations, and assure her that DC will be excited to meet the new sibling.

He can talk openly to you about his feelings, and put the shiny face on for the outside world. IMHO.

Oldcrone, she has already told their ds, he knew even before DP did, which I think is slightly strange given that she is only a few weeks gone but that's up to her I guess!

Dojo, he didn't know about it until she messaged him, then she messaged all his family members to tell them too (and tried to invite herself to DP's mum's birthday meal, possibly so she could talk about it more?)

She IBU thinking that your DP should be excited for her, however I think a quick 'Congratulations, lovely news' text would be the best option.

He doesn't look like he is ignoring her and you're being civil by acknowledging her pregnancy. Then it's done and he doesn't have to talk to her about it or explain the reasons for not contacting her.

I think she's trying to piss you off op. And I can see why you are quite frankly. Keep your heads up, smile and nod. She sounds self absorbed.

Love, I am slightly annoyed, only because I know that his ex & her boyfriend, and of course the pregnancy, is a bit of a sore point for DP and that upsets me. I'm also slightly annoyed that she took the decision at such an early stage to mention the pregnancy to their son without consulting DP at all but I know that is her decision and I can't have a say in that which is fair enough.

"Dear Ex,

Sending you our sincere congratulations on the announcement of your pregnancy, we wish you all the very best for the future and can only hope you will be as happy together as ApignamedJasper and myself are.

Kind regards

Dp and ApignamedJasper"

YANBU. She is being insensitive and ridiculous.

Haha lady like your style!

she is pregnant by the man she moved in to her house on the same day she broke up with DP

So she had an affair and is pregnant by the OM? I doubt anyone would be telling a woman if this were reversed to send a ' Congratulations, that's lovely news message' to her ex who was constantly telling her rubbing it in her face and contacting her family.

If he hasn't already then I think 'Ok or Congratulations, thank you for letting me know' is sufficient. If he has and she brings it up again then he should either ignore or just say, yes I remember. Cordial relations doesn’t mean fawning over someone who hurt you.

Yanbu, she's told their DS and she's informed him so she needs to get on with her own life now. Your dp doesn't owe her anything.