To want to tell this neighbour to do one even though I wouldn't actually do it??

[Confusedmartie999]

Please tell me who is being unreasonable.
We live in a 2 bed ground floor maisonette ( nobody has lived on top since we moved here 6 years ago ) and to one side is an old couple who have been here before us and to the other it's rented so many people have come and gone, all been lovely until this last one.
She's about 60, works in the local library and has no visitors, just a cat who as soon as she moved in mentioned was scared of other cats so could we yry and keep our cat away from hers.
I kept him in a lot over winter anyway so didn't seem to be a problem.
When I saw her just before Xmas to give her some biscuits as I did to all the other neighbours she asked if one of the children was having trouble sleeping.
She was right, our 4 year old had been getting up at 5am for the past week, I apologised explained that we were very sorry and left it at that.
When he did it again I immediately tool him downstairs on case he woke her even though I know it wouldn't help him get back into a normal routine but luckily that stopped by itself.
So last night, my 2 year old daughter cried at about 1am to go to the loo, off she went and went back to back, 2.30 she got up again crying she didn't feel well and sure enough within minutes she had been sick everywhere.
I woke my hubby up to help change the bed whilst I sorted her out etc so I guess there was some noise around this point.
She then had a drink and went back off to sleep until 5.30 when she woke crying again, this woke my son so I immediately took them both downstairs.
They were sitting on the sofa watching TV when bang bang bang on the front door!
The neighbour saying " the row next door is awful I can't sleep "
I honestly thought she meant an argument the other side of her but nope she meant us, and off she stormed slamming her door.
What should I do??

I would just ignore I think.

You can't stop your children being ill, it is normal noise which you have tried your best to deal with.

It is possible she was so nasty as she had been woken up and disturbed, she could be mortified later when it occurs to her she has been unreasonable.

If she mentions it again I would say nicely that none of your other neighbours complain and you are doing everything you can to minimise noise, and if she is still unhappy she should discuss soundproofing with her landlord.

Hope you get some sleep today after being up all night, you must be shattered.

I'm really upset by it!

Ignore. Children make noise in the night sometimes.

Suggest your neighbour wears ear plugs?

I don't think waking twice in the night is that bad anyway.

Some people are just grumpy.

While I could understand her silently cursing and wishing the family next door would shut up, she was totally unreasonable to come knocking on your door like that. It doesn't sound as if you're making noise on a regular basis so she was at the end of her tether or anything like that.

Not sure what her having no visitors has to do with it, though.

She is being unreasonable and I think I would stop pussyfooting around her after that stupid outburst. You've been more than considerate. Anyone who lives with or next door to children would surely recognise that they do make a noise and it's not deliberate to annoy anyone.

Whatever you do, don't say no one else has complained as that will likely rile her further.

Tell her to go sleep in the library then.My kids have been sick this week and last.They wake up at all hours crying but what can you do.

Have an all night party next weekend,see what she does then.[Grin]

I was just trying to point out that she does leave a very quiet lifestyle, she doesn't own a TV as spends lots of time reading so I can imagine 2 children running around drives her mad, but they generally sleep 8pm - 7am, my eldest is at pre school 3 full days a week and the other days we are out visiting friends and family, we rarely stay at home so her weekends are uninterrupted.
I feel it will be very awkward and I will be on eggshells the whole time now and would prefer to clear the air but I have no idea how, I don't want to knock and say sorry as I'm not sorry that my child was sick and them we had to deal with a neighbour banging the door down, but I also don't want to leave it to fester.
I was planning on saying I'm not really sure why she knocked as I was obviously doing all I could to sort out the situation and I apps recasts the noise of changing beds / drawers opening and closing and talking isn't ideal but we couldn't avoid it and I would have hope she would understand that.
My husband thinks to say nothing and keep away from her.

I wouldn't say anything this time as she may have done it in a burst of anger and be now at home mortified and regretting her action.

If she does it again though, I would have a calm conversation with her. Apart from anything else, maybe you are being inconsiderate in ways you don't realise and you can both agree to compromise a bit more.
If not, and she just continues being OTT then maybe have a word with her landlord.

Set your cat on hers.

I really don't see what else I could have done last night though, and given the chance when I next saw her I would have apologised of she was disturbed.
As this is the second set of comments about hearing them that's why I wanted to
Knock and ask her what it is she would like that I'm not doing!

If she wants that quiet a lifestyle then she needs to live somewhere detached. You have done nothing wrong. Children can't help waking up sometimes. They aren't silent.

Ignore her and carry on living. My children can be loud and noisy but I have already told DH I refuse to shush them in our own garden come the summer (they won't be out there late or early), I don't think either neighbour would have a issue with our children playing in their own garden but I would never go down the route of living on eggshells in my own home because someone else might like absolute quiet. Luckily my neighbours seems reasonable and very nice.

Yes you are right, I have felt on eggshells since before Xmas as really there was no need to mention the 5am starts, obviously I knew already as I live here!
She's also mentioned she can hear talking in her spare bedroom ( our bedroom )
I just don't see how!!
We hear nothing from either side albeit she obviously makes no noise and the other side are elderly but even so.

I would be tempted to have an extended noisy sex session with lots of headboard banging squeals and groans at silly o'clock.
You may wish to send dc to granny's first

tell her to go camp in the library... the cat hard bloody luck if her cat is scared of other cats she will have to keep hers in or put up with it. if she dont like neighbour/kid noise then she should live in a detatched house in a filed.

but really if it was me i would say im sorry but noise is part of life when you live close to people, even more so when its a family. and if she has a problem she should report me...

at my old address i put a trampoline up and neighbour said im not allowed and shes going to report me so i told her to go ahead.

your neighbour is lucky she dont live next to me my house is very noisey

Report you to who?
I was very tempted to organise a party this weekend but honestly think she would call the police and I'm in the process of joining the prison service so don't want that on my enhanced crb

First of all, you must be exhausted and I hope your daughter is feeling better now. There is not even a conversation to be had about your children and the normal issues that arise such as sleep difficulties and them feeling poorly and needing tending to. It is difficult enough without someone being horrible about it.

The only thing that I could see that could be regarded as inconsiderate is if your TV was loud at 5.30am. However, lots of people get up around 6am and would have normal news and radio on while having breakfast. As for hearing talking through her spare bedroom, I don't understand what the point of that information was, unless you talk about private matters and she is giving you a heads up that she is privy to that.

Your children are very young. I hope you all get some rest tonight.

Hi,
Yes we are all very tired today!
Looking forward to an early night.
The TV was on low and obviously that's downstairs not upstairs so I'm not sure how on earth she would have heard that from upstairs.
Obviously me and my husband talk as it's our bedroom but nothing really private, I thought she was warning us she would hear any sex noises from there! She did word it like she was letting us know so if we wanted private talks she could hear but I just dont buy it!
I've been into the other neighbours bedroom to look at their TV for them and our TV was on pretty loud and yet I could hear only a very faint muffled noise.
I think I am going to wait a few hours and go and talk to her, make it clear I always do all that I can to avoid her being affected by the children's noise however they are children and I'm not sure what else she would like me to do.