To be miffed by school's fancy dress policy

[Booboostoo]

We are in France if it makes any difference and 3.5yo DD is at the first year of pre-school.

A month ago we got a notice saying that the 6th of March would be fancy dress day, the children should come in dressed up and there would be a parade to which parents were invited. I though this sounded like good fun, explained the idea to DD who chose to be a monkey and we've spent the last month (very slowly) working on a monkey costume (yes, I could have just bought her a monkey costume but it seemed more fun and more memorable to make one).

Yesterday we got another note from school saying the young ones (3-5) would not get to pick their own costume, they would all have to be gardeners, they would make the costume at school and could we provide them, ASAP, with plastic gardening tools and straw hats. WTF?!

AIBU to think they should have made this clear at first? This is the first year they are doing it this way and I know other parents were getting organised for different costumes. It also seems a damper on all the fun - surely a big part of fancy dress is to chose a costume that expresses your personality and have fun being that character for the day.

YANBU - of course they should have said from the outset that the youngsters would all be in gardener costumes!

I don't have an issue with them having all similar costumes, that could be to reduce the differentiation between those who are excellent at creative costumes, those who buy really expensive ones, and those who can't do either of those things - but they should have said that from the off.

Why gardeners? That's a bit random Could she be a monkey gardener? Just accessorise a bit.

Completely random.

I am tempted by the passive aggressive monkey gardener option! However, the young ones have to turn up in normal clothes and make their gardener costumes while everyone else turns up in fancy dress! I can see this ending in tears.

At least they've given you a reasonable amount of notice, though beach toys and straw hats in February is a bit stupid. Good luck ...

We are also in France and as a working parent, not having to send in dressing up costumes and other random things at short notice is generally one of the things I appreciate most (it is much more common here for both parents to work and schools tend to take this into account).

It's tradition in France for schools to tell pupils which costume to wear or give a (narrow) topic to follow. YANBU, just unaware.

I actually think it is a good idea, although they should have told you upfront. So often you arrange something and some students show up in an over the top outfit, others show up with nothing. Having the students make their own costumes in class means everyone is on a level footing, and no one misses out. I tend to do this when we have something at school, as I've got a real mix of kids, and this way everyone gets to have a go. It's also good that they get to have a go at their own costumes rather than the parents doing all the work.

They should have told you though.

Not sure it's "tradition" since in a combined 20 years at french schools (between 2 kids) I've only seen this once, but I imagine that they are doing a project on a related theme).

However I would say that if you're going to survive the French education system it's generally a good idea to be as relaxed as possible about school randomness. It is a much less individualized system than the UK.

I am sure this is not a tradition at our school as two other mums with children in DD's class were sorting out pirate and dinosaur costumes and they both have older children at the same school.

I get the idea of a theme and don't disagree with it, but 6-10 year olds are free to wear what they want so that defeats the purpose if they wanted to avoid some kids standing out with 'good' costumes. It's a small school, everyone sees everyone else and they will all parade together.

The difference is that the older kids won't be making costumes in class. They will be sitting at their desks learning grammar and times tables like all French primary school children ;)