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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I funding their wedding?!

32 replies

Thoughtfulduck · 24/02/2015 22:17

Another wedding thread!

I have been asked to be chief bridesmaid for my best friend. Her and her husband to be have decided they want us all to stay for 4 days in a big manor house for the wedding, which will be great fun. However the costs are adding up!

Me and my partner are having to contribute £300 towards renting the manor, which I feel shouldn't be at the expense of the guests. We also are having to drive 5 hours to get there, which is just an inconvenience, plus as two self employed people we are having 4/5 days unpaid leave.

The stag/hen do are costing around £100-150 apiece, we then have to buy a present, I am expected to pay for my bridesmaid shoes (a specific style chosen by the bride), pay for my jewellery (again bride has hinted at preferred choice), and on top of all that she has just told me I need to pay for my own hair and makeup on the day Hmm

I don't know whether I am being unreasonable thinking that this is too much! Am I basically paying for their wedding or is this the done thing?

It also doesn't help that they are going on the honeymoon of a lifetime which they like to mention at every oppurtunity, so money isn't exactly tight for them!

OP posts:
Hubb · 24/02/2015 23:11

Yes it was all looking extremely cheeky and then there is the final bloody straw, pay for your own hair and make up!? Fucking hell OP do not put up with this. Best friend or not, it's clearly eating away at you and will get worse. And like others have said, the costs will no doubt keep going up and up too.

I'm flabbergasted! Also wondering if I missed a bloody trick as I didn't get anyone to pay for any of my wedding expenses except parents...

ExtraJudgeyPants · 24/02/2015 23:12

Agree Wizard, this is end of the world stuff!! I think this is worse than Gluezilla to be honest.

guinnessgirl · 24/02/2015 23:24

No! Just - no! What the chuff is she playing at? Get out, get out now - it will only get worse Shock

DonttouchthatLarry · 25/02/2015 00:12

What on earth is wrong with people nowadays with all this wedding craziness? When DH and I got married we asked 2 friends to come with us for 4 days away to be our witnesses - and WE paid for THEM! It would never have crossed my mind to expect them to pay as they were doing us the favour and taking 2 days off work.

There's no way I'd subsidise anyone else's wedding, if a close friend of mine did this I'd refuse the invitation.

Osmiornica · 25/02/2015 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fluffymouse · 25/02/2015 00:59

Four day stay is ridiculous, unless you actually want to.

Tell her you can't afford it and book a b&b for the night.

As for hair and make up, can you do your own?

BadLad · 25/02/2015 01:10

The RSVP came with an account number and sort code too

Brilliant.

Weddings are like Facebook. People say they enjoy them, but never doing either of them seems to be saving me from a lot of hassle if threads on here are anything to go by.

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