To think that this nursery worker is rude?

[FizzyAddict]

I'm a young Mum to a 3 YO DD who attends nursery 5 days a week.

I have no problems at all with the nursery however the worker who always deals with my DD is beginning to irritate me and I'm wondering whether IABU.

When I have to fill in forms etc and I hand them back to her she always says 'Good girl, well done'.

I have anxiety issues so I'm not very good in social situations but she's beginning to say this more and more and it's starting to irritate me; I find it patronising as I haven't ever heard her do it to the other Mums.

AIBU to want to pull her up on it? Or should I just let it go?

Yeah that is pretty patronising, even if she is doing it to other mums too.

If you're socially anxious I'd let it go

I suppose it depends on how much it really annoys you and if you'll feel better or worse after pulling her up.

Things like this just make me roll my eyes but I appreciate we're all different.

When I went back to work I found myself saying things like tata and once good boy to a large bearded fellow employee. I didn't mean to it just became part of my vocabulary. I think if she says it again just laugh it off. Perhaps another poster will come up with a witty response I'm rubbish at them.

On the surface v patronising, however is it possible she's just on autopilot from being given things by the children?

As an outsider I'd say she's trying to be chummy in the same way some people use the term 'darling'. It would however irritate me to the point of wanting to scratch my eyeballs out so yanbu!

It's probably autopilot. Believe me I've done it and pretty much passed out through embarrassment when I realised!
You spend 8 hours praising young children for weeing on the potty, colouring in, using their cutlery properly, building a tower etc - it kinda of leaks out into adult conversation...
I once asked DH if he'd washed his hands after going to the toilet in the pub
She might not realise she's doing it.

Yes it's extremely patronising but it may just be a slip of the tongue. I teach children and often call their parents 'flower, sugar bun' ect by mistake. I always apologise after.

So your not stewing over it if mention it in a casual way eg the next time she says it say " girl " ??Hardly! But I'll take that as a complement sugar lips'

Try make a joke out of it to bring it her attention.

"I'm so glad you think I'm a good girl, do I get a gold star ?"

I would think of something like this which is sarcastic but not too heavy, to rebut her using "good girl" on you. It would irritate the crap out of me.

I went on a nursery tour for my DS once with one other mother and the woman who took us around kept saying "come along now girls" and I wanted to punch her in the face. But I didn't.

id be chuffed at her calling me a girl.

Might be autopilot. I accidentally used a 123 count down to my dh to gee him along a bit once. It was a genuine mistake after a long day stuck in with my then very little children.

He was not amused but I laughed like a drain.

She may not realise she is doing it , i would wait until next time she says good girl and probably say something like 'my names fizzy' if she says she knows i would reply "oh really i just assumed you had forgotten which is why you kept saying good girl to me"

Hmmm, I know someone who talks to others like this. Yeah, it's annoying and patronising and I think it's supposed to be. I've long thought she does it because of some misplaced belief that her character is so "quirky" or "charming" that she has earned the right to talk to others how she sees fit.

The way to deal with it is ignore it. Completely. Don't flinch - she's looking for you reaction (and when she gets it she'll play all innocent ). However if a situation arrises when this sort of chat or banter becomes wholly inappropriate give her both barrels. But keep your powder dry for such an occasion.

I know I'm projecting my own experience here but thought it might be useful. Or maybe I'm just bitter

Op out of curiosity how often does this happen?

Agree that she may be in autopilont saying good girl to a bunch of toddlers.

Tbh nursery workers are trained to talk to kids not adults, I wouldn't worry. It's not the most professional of contexts.

One of my kids went through a phase of saying "good lady" when I did anything for her. Had the grace to look embarrassed though even at 2 and a bit

I think she is just trying to be friendly and maybe funny I am sure she isn't trying to patronise you at all. Fwiw I worked with young children and their parents off the top of my head I have said thank you to mums in a stupid sing songy voice and once a mum asked me for a cup of water not only did I ask her what colour she wanted but filled it half way up and said careful now you don't spill it

It could be autopilot - I once rang off the phone to a client saying 'love you' I was just back from mat leave and I always say it to DH. Luckily for me the guy laughed and said 'Well, if that's the kind of service to expect, I'll come back!'

It is a bit patronising, but it sounds like it's just part of the way she talks, not that she is making an effort to patronise you.

It's not something that's worth worrying about IMO.