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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this school gate mother was seriously rude

30 replies

Harridanshandbag · 24/02/2015 16:04

Never given a second thought to any of the behaviours of some of the parents at DDs school as I don't know any of them bar one or two who are polite enough to sometimes greet me. Until today that is.

I was waiting at the fence with my toddler away from the myriad of dogs tied up to the actual entrance gate when said mother came up next me and toddler (bearing in mind she had much more than 50 feet of space between us and dog bit and 30 cm away from us is bordering on proximity issues as far as I'm concerned) and asked if I minded if she tied the dog up to the post toddlers was next to. I had picked toddler up at this point as this was one of those wriggly fluffy dog types and toddler has had an 'encounter' with an over excitable similar type previously.

I said to this woman pleasantly I didn't mind at all I'll just hold toddler as she's a scared of dogs. I was a little surprised that she had acknowledged we were there as this is highly unusual at this school. Anyway I'm not scared of dogs at all as I grew up with them but toddler is still nervous around them. Before I could finish she muttered something under her breath snatched the dog and stormed off. She then tied her dog up in the area with the other dogs and marched into the playground.

I just told there wondering wtaf set her off. I've never laid eyes on her in my life and this sort of shit is why I don't even try and engage in any sort of small talk at the school gates these days.

AiBU to say that it's fine to stand next to me with your dog (even though you have an entire blocks worth of school fence for you and your dog but (just be aware) my toddler doesn't like them and I'll hold her (so she's reassured). (Your dog could turn into one of the yappy bitey types for all I know)!

Im unreasonably upset that people can be so aggressive for no apparent reason yes, but why ask and then get shitty for no apparent reason.

OP posts:
ThatBloodyWoman · 24/02/2015 16:10

She does sound like she's being a tad unreasonable!
If she doesn't want to make allowances for the fact that not all children like dogs,she shouldn't bring hers on the school run.
I assume all children are scared of my ddog unless I find different.

kitchentableagain · 24/02/2015 16:11

I like dogs. We're going to get a puppy as soon as dc3 is old enough to not eat out of its bowl.

But I HATE how many people show up at the school gate with dogs. It's not fucking crufts! YANBU IMO, if you have to leave your dog tied and unattended in a place where many children will be then don't take your dog.

holeinmyheart · 24/02/2015 16:15

YANBU. She is bonkers and rude.

PlumpingUpPartridge · 24/02/2015 16:17

You were clearly meant to be totally happy with it, op, which means no toddler response.

She sounds like the impatient unreasonable sort to me.

ooerrmissus · 24/02/2015 16:18

She's clearly barking Grin

Harridanshandbag · 24/02/2015 16:19

Oh thank goodness! I was worried that she though I was being well I don't know what. I would have moved if I though my toddler was going to get her head bitten off and I am pretty adamant I was more than friendly. I'm happy to chat to people I don't know and was quite pleased I had a chance to even converse with another adult today. Didn't work out so well eh? :)

She was really angry and made me feel like I was being told off by a teacher. I'm in my thirties ffs.

I wanted to to say 'Did you mean to be so rude?', however this is of course my daughters playground and even so I normally clam up when people behave weirdly.

OP posts:
Poledra · 24/02/2015 16:19

I'm surprised the school allow it - our school does not allow dogs to be tied up to the fence, so that the children do not have to run the gamut of over-excited pooches as they leave to go home. Parents of older children often wait outside the school gates with their dogs but if you want to go into the playground, you leave the dog at home!

Taz1212 · 24/02/2015 16:19

The General MN view is that no dogs should go on the school run ever. My view is that dogs are fine on the school run but should be kept away from people. I don't think dogs should be tied up.

If it had been me and I had been standing uncomfortably close to you (as I wouldn't be tying my dog up), I would have been very apologetic and sympathetic to your DD and I would have moved away so she didn't have to be held.

YANBU

merrymouse · 24/02/2015 16:20

Was she just in a hurry?

Harridanshandbag · 24/02/2015 16:20

Ooerrmissus

snorts quite.

OP posts:
merrymouse · 24/02/2015 16:21

Although rereading your post, even if she was in a hurry she was rude.

Pinkje · 24/02/2015 16:23

I think she must have misheard you.

mrsmootoo · 24/02/2015 16:23

YANBU - dog owners think they're always right and everyone has to love their noisy, barky, smelly, jumpy, growly, bitey, dirty animals! And just watch them shoot me down!

Harridanshandbag · 24/02/2015 16:23

Merrymouse

Nope, she stood in the playground huffing and then chatting. Even so what's the rage about?

OP posts:
Harridanshandbag · 24/02/2015 16:25

Pinkje

What possibly could she have heard other than, 'It's absolutely fine I'll just hold toddler'. I was smiling as I addressed her so I'm utterly baffled or just completely socially unaware then.

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MrsCakesPrecognition · 24/02/2015 16:28

Seems fairly standard around here that, as soon as your DCs start school, you buy a puppy. Cue loads of untrained, overexcited , yapping dogs tied to the school gates.

WorraLiberty · 24/02/2015 16:28

I had no idea schools still allowed people to do this

Spybot · 24/02/2015 16:37

I have dogs . But loads of dogs left unattended around a school is an incident waiting to happen. Either one of the dogs could start a fight with the others, or worse a kid tries to pet one and gets bitten. It's one thing taking your dog with you on the school run but if you need to leave it unattended then it needs to stay home and you have to walk it later. The school should step in and stop it. Never mind that Mum ,she is just rude.

Pinkje · 24/02/2015 16:48

oh, in that case maybe she misunderstood your reply and thought you were being sarcastic.......

not pleasant I agree, especially if it looks like she then complained to others.

ToffeeCaramel · 24/02/2015 16:53

She sounds bonkers. You would think she'd at least paws for thought before being so rude.

fizzycolagurlie · 24/02/2015 16:54

Our school has a rule that you can't bring your dog and tie it up at the gate. But people still do it all the time. Most of the owners are quite sensitive to the fact that small children might be afraid and the same owners are afraid of being sued if the child or anyone else is bitten, so they are usually extremely polite and accommodating. Your dog mother encounter sounds like she was a bit of a loon.

Coyoacan · 24/02/2015 16:56

Oh dear, so obviously rude, that I just wonder if maybe she didn't hear you right. Being slightly deaf myself... I'm afraid there are occasions when I misunderstand.

Harridanshandbag · 24/02/2015 17:06

Sarcastic? Why on gods green earth would I respond sarcastically to someone is never met who up until that point appeared reasonable to some degree.

OP posts:
Harridanshandbag · 24/02/2015 17:08

Coyoacan

Possibly she is but didn't seem to have any communication issues in the playground. Who knows?! throws hands in air

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Meemoll · 24/02/2015 17:14

That is clearly her issue, you've done absolutely nothing wrong. Just let her have her angry moment and don't let it ruin your day. Our school can turn into a bit of a dog show ground at times too, I like dogs but do find it a bit funny that there is now something else to be competitive about at the school gates!