to wonder why you'd handwash things like shirts and socks if you didn't have to?

[crapAtEverything]

This isn't about handwashing stuff that should be handwashed. It's about handwashing stuff that would genuinely be better washed in a machine, to get rid of sweat/bacteria/fungus/ general minginess. Why would you handwash stuff like that?

My mum (aged 70 this year) is queen of household martyrdom. With an injured-Cinderella air, she was berating me over the phone this morning for not handwashing my husband's shirts. Or his socks. Or ... his undies. Apparently the youth of today just wreck things and then throw them out and buy more, and proper housekeeping involves not wrecking everything. And you're not supposed to wreck your hands by washing in hot water, either.

To me, 20 year old shirts with multi-year sweat stains, are far worse than 10 year old clean shirts that have slightly frayed collars due to having been washed in the machine. Am I really being obnoxiously profligate by washing undies at 95 in the machine (on the eco cycle) and buying another 10-pack from M&S five years later?

Some people are really good at handwashing. I hate it and am terrible at it. So maybe she is a house fairy, but maybe you like to do other things with your time than cleaning.

I don't know why you would handwash stuff like that and I don't know of anyone who does. Even if you are good at it, how much worse a job could a washing machine do on your average pair of bog standard, cotton underwear?

I really can't remember the last time I hand washed anything. It must have been at least 25 years ago as a student when I had no easy access to a washing machine.

Perhaps some people just enjoy making work for themselves and then moaning about it. My MIL was rather like that. She had a dishwasher, but always properly washed up after meals (scrubbing in hot soapy water, the works) before putting it into said dishwasher.

She also had a cleaner every week. She cleaned her house before the cleaner arrived and then again after she had gone.

Martyrdom, as you say.

Everything washed at 40 degrees in this house normally. I find it works just fine, especially on a longer program.

TopseyT Yes i think it's the martyr approach with my mother.

Just out of interest, does 40 degrees actually work for you for cleaning sweaty clothes, and for adequately washing undies? It's obviously better for the environment than 60 or 95, but it doesn't really work for us. It would be good if it did. My DH has a tendency to overload the washing machine a lot of the time, so washing anything like sweaty sports clothes at 40 just means everything comes out smelling rank. Possibly due to having undies handwashed with scented soap in lukewarm water until I started doing my own washing as a teenager, I've always had major problems with thrush unless undies are washed at 95 in unscented washing powder.

I wash everything at 30 (except bedding, towels, and cleaning cloths) and never iron no problems here at all

OP, you are not being unreasonable. Life is far too short for handwashing anything other than delicates. My Mum is in the same brigade as your Mum. She also irons my DD's bibs, vests & muslins.....

I can't believe you don't wash hubby's smalls by hand. Its about love innit.

The answer to your question is because they are a martyr. And it means they can whinge about it to everyone.

OP I have to wash DH's gym kit and work shirts on a hotter wash too as otherwise they just smell stale!

I used to work in a nursing home where a lovely woman did her own washing with green soap.
It was part of her identity and independence imo.

Hell would freeze over before I handwashed DH's underkegs!

I can't imagine there are many women people still handwashing. My Granny is 90 and she certainly doesn't!

I remember my Auntie resisted getting a washing machine for a long time back in the 80's. I can see her now stood at the sink. It would take her a full afternoon every week to wash everything.

No thanks!

vinegar - the white stuff into softener drawer.
deals with smells. or liquid disinfectant (instruction on bottle).
cotton can be washed at 60 without problems.

our neighbours in the 80's still had a wash house - shed in garden with a huge var on top of a wood/coal fire and a mangle....

I'm quite partial to a bit of hand washing in summer if there's only one or two things I want clean and I can't be arsed to sort out a wash.