im so annoyed fertillty issues rela

[presario1]

i was given a more of less a one free go on ivf with my partner he has severe mobility issues and low sperm count im not ovalting as i havent lost enough weight i weigh around 16 stone. i dont get periods plus i have low progestrone.
we had an appointment today and all he had to do and fuflil his job in the cup and get it tested before my appointment on this week. He couldnt do it and to makes matter worse my appointment with the feritlly dr is this week and no i havent lost enough weight either.
i cant cope anymore i feel like ffuckign him out i dont know what to do ?all i could do is say im sick as i cant face them
he is due some serious money soon and he reckons he pay at least 10 k for a proper go of ivf with doner sperm with just us knowing that the child would be !ours) i told him i havent got it and im nearly 33 and honestly it could be another year down the road.. i just dont know anymore feel like dumping him

Presario, I'm sorry but your posts are becoming harder and harder to understand. Who did you cancel your appointment with? An NHS consultant? Rearrange it then, but accept it may take some time, use that time to work on your weight. IVF is not something to go into lightly without a supportive partner.

All areas have different PCTs and they all offer different cycles of IVF. For instance, North Essex where I am, offers 2 cycles, but used to offer 3 but Mid-Essex only offers 1 (I think). It depends on where you live.

I don't think you are in a suitable,position to progress with Ivf at the moment you have some crazy bonkers ideas and you have other issues to resolve about your relationship. Ivf is a long hard road and you need a tough relatinship to withstand it. You need to sort out your other issues first and please move on from this one night stand nonsense. Fast track to a sexually transmitted disease and that could really bugger your fertility chances. Get real and get sensible.

Yy Mini - and there are lots of minds being changes quite regularly. The East of England consortium (which included North and mid Essex CCGs) split up - they used to offer 3 fresh and 3 frozen, but we are now back to each CCG offering a different number.

Op is in Ireland (I assume Eire?) in which case NHS criteria isn't applicable. However I imagine that local clinical guidelines are not dissimilar to those in place here (BMI, smoking status etc).

Yes definitely Ohfourfoxache, it's very important to get your weight within a decent range, stop smoking if you do, cut down on drinking, etc. OP if you are able to get your weight down further you may well find you start to ovulate alone too which will help. I've been through IVF, it is tough, but don't underestimate it and please don't think it'll be a quick fix, it really isn't. If you are only getting one try you really do need to try to be in the best physical place you can be. Good luck.

Ohfourfoxache - Sorry, all I personally meant by a "proper go" was trying again at a time when both OP & her DP were in a position, mentally & physically, to commit to everything that IVF involves. It wasn't any more "proper" because money was involved - paying for it was only mentioned because if OP is only allowed one free chance, any further treatment would have to be paid for.

Mini you've just taken the words out of my mouth re losing weight and resuming spontaneous ovulation. Op you need to pay attention to this point. Also, if you do start to ovulate spontaneously and you do go through ivf, it will be easier to stimulate your ovaries. Which improves the changes of a pregnancy.

Mini is completely right. Ivf is NOT a quick fix. It's a long, hard, bloody emotional road to take. It affects every single part of your life. Ok, it's a great treatment, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It is not easy. It is bloody difficult and much, much harder than a lot of people expect.

I'm going to be blunt. Neither of you sound ready to go down the ivf route. You need to be dedicated to it. If you're considering a ONS then, frankly, you don't sound that committed to each other, let alone committed to having a child.

And if you're not ovulating, how on earth do you think having a ONS is going to help you to have a child? It would quite literally be a fruitless exercise.

Completely understand Santas - I was responding to a comment from op about what constitutes a "proper go"! From the post it sounds like op thinks that paying for treatment is going to make a difference to the outcome and that there is a way round losing weight/partner not providing a sample etc

You sound like your blaming everything on your partner. Not every bloke can produce a sample on demand, especially if it's not at home or within a deadline. Perhaps you could help him instead of condeming him.

His issues are only half the story, is he as critical of you loosing weight as you are about him producing a sample?

Yabu ....

You can't place all this blame in his hands he is obviously experiencing some problems....you were advised to lose the weight ....you haven't....I would take the next few months to think about your position seriously.

i dont drink much or smoke tg . its a filth habit to have.
i have pcos and its harder to lose weight but very easy to put on but to agree willpower and sheeer resolve i dont know i have resheducle the appointment
the thing is he is acting 'normally again' while i im dealing with this problem i dont know i dont think we make it this time next year if this is the carryon i do love him and i love children.
i its so hard time over time i have questioned myself do i want kids bad enough? will i love them enough? and the more i have the more it annoys me you hear of junkies having kids and people having kids and not minding them properly i love kids however i dont want to go down the adopting road its not for me. i reared my sister kids for years until they moved away to austrailia to be with the father last year so i do feel a bit empthy

thanks cat for your postive story and the restxxxx
im glad things worked out for you im nearly 33 he is nearly 44 but im afraid it wont happen like that though i wish rite im going to start loosing weight and see how it goes if things dont improve with us by june then i call it a day but im going for the moment get a part time job or something im sick of spending all day mourning that i dont have children in my house