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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect a card?

14 replies

addicted2cake · 23/02/2015 17:46

I work in a small team of 8 people, I am always the one who organises birthday cards, meals out, the xmas do etc. Its my 40th next week and know from past experience that all I'm likely to get is a rushed card a week late signed 'from all the team' as a pose to individuals signing the card. A few months ago I decorated our office for someones 40th and no-one even offered me a penny towards the balloons and banners etc. AIBU to expect a bit of an effort as its a special birthday or shall I resign myself to the fact that it will be just like last year, and the year before?

OP posts:

Nolim · 23/02/2015 17:49

Do you celebreate your colleagues bithdays because someone asks you or because you want to?
I am onclined to believe you are not getting anything special buy if what you tesent is the asymmetry simply stop using your time and money to celebrate their birthdays.

vestandknickers · 23/02/2015 17:49

I would hope your colleagues would make an effort as birthdays and a big public display clearly mean a lot to you.

I'd have been mortified to have balloons and banners put up in the office for my 40th!

Hope you have a nice birthday.

DeliciousMonster · 23/02/2015 17:56

Putting banners up in the office for my birthday would result in me sloping off quietly for the day. Like the 7th circle of hell.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 23/02/2015 17:58

It would also be a fairly hellish thing for someone to do for me. I would truly hate it, but hope you get the day you want, OP. I guess YANBU to expect a card anyway!

pilates · 23/02/2015 18:09

Hope you get a card but I wouldn't hold your breath to expect anything else.

Thumbwitch · 23/02/2015 18:12

YABU to expect others to copy your level of involvement, as you may not even know whether or not they enjoy birthday celebrations as much as you do.

I speak from experience - my sister is like you, all balloons and banners and big fuss - my Dad and I are the complete opposite (although we do appreciate cards!). My sister seemed to think that her need to give balloons and a big fuss outweighed our feelings about receiving them - until I put her straight.

Of course, your colleagues could equally be just a bunch of lazy shits who are quite happy for you to do all the work, but since you can't do your own, they won't bother either.

Original poster

addicted2cake · 23/02/2015 18:31

Thanks for all your replies. It was my first time posting so I was a little nervous! Just to clarify, I do only want a card - not bothered about decorating the office as I am sure my family will go to all that trouble!! I just put that in the post to try and explain the effort I go to, and its not for big shows of public display - just because I like people to think they have been thought of on their birthdays and made to feel a bit special.

OP posts:

captainfarrell · 23/02/2015 19:03

Maybe you should talk about what your plans are for your BIG birthday in general conversation or they might not realise it's not a 'normal' birthday. It's probably not that they mean to forget, it's just theta they have someone in place to get cards....and its you!!! It's not at the forefront of peoples minds as much as it is for you. If it doesn't work out, like you say, your family will make you feel special. Happy birthday in advance

Aeroflotgirl · 23/02/2015 19:48

I would stop doing it. Wishing you a very happy birthday

Pippidoeswhatshewants · 23/02/2015 19:54

YANBU. I got exactly nothing for my 40th, no card nor the bottle of wine a supplier sent over for me.
Showed me exactly how appreciated I was by my boss and colleagues. I resigned shortly after.

Thumbwitch · 23/02/2015 22:47

That's fair enough addicted but do take note that not everyone likes big displays, nor to be the centre of attention.

I hope you get your card!

CliveCussler · 23/02/2015 22:52

I think your colleagues might be trying to get a message through to you.

They're clearly not appreciating your efforts. Put your time and money into your own birthday celebrations, that way everybody's happy.

Where I work, people bring cakes in, and organise pub lunches etc on their own birthdays, but not for anyone else's.

MonkeySeeMonkeyDooo · 23/02/2015 22:57

I like people to think they have been thought of on their birthdays and made to feel a bit special

And there's your problem. You don't actually know if they want it. You put in the effort, maybe others aren't as bothered?

Amy106 · 23/02/2015 23:01

I would agree with other posters. You want to celebrate birthdays one way and it is pretty clear that your co-workers don't feel the same. Maybe it's time to let someone take over organizing the social events and give yourself a break. I hope you have a very happy birthday. Enjoy your special day!

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