Being referred to as a girl

[wonderpants]

Increasingly our managers refer to the frontline staff as 'girls'. Both to our faces and to outside agencies. We are all adults. AIBU to feel this is patronising? And if not, how do I tackle it without starting a fight or coming across as arsey.

Yes, it is patronising. Very hard to tackle it though. You'll be seen as a raving feminist if you do.

Call him boy, or say in a fairly positive but firm tone "I don't appreciate being called a girl, please don't call me that again"

i wouldn't worry about coming off as arsey this is a pretty obvious case of sexism in the workplace. just refer it to HR

It is a female office.

so your managers are female and refer to other female workers as girls?

do you mean the managers are female too?

This annoys me too at work.

We have an admin team of women, all 40 plus.

My manager and the rest of the team (all men apart from me) will always refer to them as 'the girls'. I constantly pull them up on it and then they will sarcastically call them 'the ladies' which drives me equally potty. Aargh.

if the managers are female and calling you girls like 'girls night out' they might be being a bit inappropriately matey but that seems a bit of a stretch. you are being a bit arsey IMO

kellyandthecat she literally described the context in the OP so ... try again

It is more things like, 'the girls will do this', I've never heard them refer to the male members of staff as boys!

umm well no she didn't because she didn't say the gender of the managers. initially i and other posters assumed they were male and gave one type of advice but then she said 'it is a female office' and we asked for clarification maybe you should try again

It doesn't make it ok if the manager is a woman. It's still just a way of patronising and diminishing people they think are below them in status.
You need to tell them upfront, OP.

Yes managers all female. I wouldn't dream of referring to them as girls when speaking about them. (Even though I'm older than some!)

i can see why that might be annoying wonderpants but i don't see how you can bring it up. its very hard to point out to another woman that shes adopting some aspect of cultural sexism without seeming a bit mad

countessmarkyabitch is right i think you could make it about respecting colleagues by saying 'the sales team' or whatever instead of 'the girls'

sorry i got my head stuck on sexism because i came into this thinking the bosses were male

I use the girls or boys and have never done it to patronise or undermine anybody, I know many who do the same maybe it's a regional thing as I've never heard of it being offensive before.

Lighthearted
" AW..its so lovely when you call us girls , but I think perhaps you need to get your glasses prescription checked out"

down with the mums
" The only girlish thing about me is the temporary barbie tattoo on my arse - and thats only there because I wasn’t looking where I sat after a glass of vino last night"

a polite fuck off
"Now Im even looking at menopause in the rear view mirror I think I'd prefer to be described as a woman / lady / bastard/ term of choice"

open to discussion
" I saw an ad on tv the other day about describing people as doing things like a girl..have you seen it ? and it set us ( at home ) talking about that and what it meant - and then why we didnt use the term women more, you often say "girls" and its a bit....wrong dont you think the term ( whatever you like) would be more appropriate , or what about ( another)"

return serve
raise hand
"Is this the part of the meeting where we clearly describe people as things they arnt because Id like to join in now, you clever person you."

are those any help ?

so kelly when you thought the managers were male you said to report to HR because its sexist but now the OP has said they are female shes being arsey? why would she be arsey just because her boss is a female? why is it not sexism when a female calls then girls?

I don't see what the fuss is about. I'm 'one of the girls' and I'm 42, love it.

Darkness- perfect!

I'm not massively offended, just mildly irritated as I think it is patronising. I'm a healthcare professional, nowhere in my work persona am I a 'girl'! And the management team don't refer to each other as girls!

Thank you for your thoughts

i don't see a problem with it either. my boss refers to us as the girls and we range from 29 to 56. it seems to be quite common here in ireland though.

I don't think I'd see a problem with it if wasn't for the fact that they don't refer to each other as girls. There is something a bit patronising about it when it's only used for more junior staff.

My mum referred to "the girls at work" all her life, no matter how senior or junior they were.