To work additional hours and therefore need childcare

[workJack]

Rubbish title! But here goes.

I am extremely lucky to have a well paid part- time job. I am contracted to do 26 hours a week and so usually work school hours. Occasionally I get asked to a meeting which means that I have to work longer hours and put the dc into after school club. Dh will then have to leave work a bit early to collect them afterwards. I don't mind doing this as I like my job and want to keep it. But AIBU inconveniencing my family in this way? Am I putting my work before my family? Should I just say to work that I can only work in school hours?

And by occasionally, previously it has been once every couple of months. But work is busy at the moment and it is starting to look like once a week.

Once a week in after school club is not a lot! They'll be fine.

I don't understand why using after school club once a week would be unreasonable.

Once a week? That's nothing. I'm sure they will all be fine.

YABU to think that you have to martyr yourself and change your life completely and everyone else should be cossetted and treated like royalty. Your DH had DC too and I'm sure, if he's not a complete twunt, that he is fine with changing his schedule once in a while to, you know, parent his own children.

Thank you. I am asking because a colleague said I should refuse as my working hours are school hours.

Show your colleague . If you enjoy your job and want to work the meetings, why shouldn't you? My job sometimes means I work weird hours, like tomorrow when I'm off to Vancouver, but the extra hours are normally fun stuff that I enjoy.

Flexibility goes a long way in a job.
I presume it doesn't cause a problem for your DH to pick your DC up from after school care?

But I'd make sure my manager knew I was doing it.

Dh will have to catch up the extra time (about 30 minutes) another day. But that's not too much to ask I don't think?

Well my DH would be fine with that. When I travel for business my DH has some serious juggling to do.
How does your DH feel about it?

Well, I assume they're his children too!

Do you get paid for the longer hours, or get to take them back as TOIL later (even informally)? I think the only thing I'd be concerned about is it becoming unpaid overtime.

I work part-time but occasionally work later, or do a little bit at the weekend, during a busy time, knowing that when it's quieter I can get that time back.

They'll be fine.
It's never to soon for children to learn to fit in with the wants and needs of the bigger family picture. Or for your DH either!

Well, if it was impossible or very difficult for you to do the extra hours them your colleague might have a point. If you and your dh are both happy with it then it's not a problem. I wouldn't refuse to do the extra hours on principle if you enjoy your job and it pays well.

How is it inconveniencing them?
The dc's go after school club which is all fun. Dad gets some extra time in with the kids, and time to brush up on his cooking skills. Win win.

You are showing that you can be flexible and you never know when this will come handy.

I'm the same as you p/t, mostly around school hours.

I think it's a very good thing that DH does pick ups and drop offs occasionally. I hadn't travelled for a while and last month I had two trips so DH had to do school run and bag packing - made me realise how much out of the loop he was with these things, so now we're making a conscious effort for him to do them every couple of weeks, even if he doesn't need to, so he is involved. I also find that DS likes to talk on the way to and from school so it's nice to have those conversations.

Just make sure you keep a log of the extra hours when you need time back for school plays etc.

Dh is okay about it most of the time. He does get a bit miffed when it means that he has to arrange his exercise class though.

I can take toil so that's not a problem

Integrating that most people say ianbu

Do you get paid/TOIL for your extra hours? (If its going to be regular)
If so, no brainer
Even if not, probably worth doing if you love your job and it pays well
It is IMO ZERO issue for your DH to pick up kids (and leave 1/2 hour early if work is flexible) and even less for kids to go to after school club. Some kids go every day, and to breakfast club too. Once a week is fun!

Well it is important to carve out time for exercise, so maybe plan your later shifts around that when possible. (….Though to be fair you could argue your entire career has been rearranged around his, and the care of your children together, so if it is once in a blue moon I'm sure he can suck it up……)

Your colleague is probably just trying to be nice, i.e. "Don't feel pressure to do this if you don't want to, everyone will understand if you can't". Surely they weren't saying that you shouldn't do it?

Look the thing about having DCs is that both parents should be involved even if one of them happens to be p/t.

Also as a fellow part-timer, it's nice to feel normal occasionally and not be dashing out the door, making phone calls as you go, in order to reach the school gates on time. It also buys a lot of good will at the office when you need it for events and sickness.

I think your colleague is making the point that your hours are school hours and that you shouldn't be expected to do those hours if for some reason it is not convenient.

however I work 20 hours a week, theoretically on particular days. However, if I make the childcare effort to attend particular meetings at times that don't fall on my days, or to do a bit extra one week, I feel I am building up credit in terms of the flexibility to take time off for a school play or a doctors appt or a sick child. This only works if you do get the credit back somewhere else!

Advice from colleagues isn't always in your best interest. Sometimes it's in theirs. Just saying.