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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say dd can't go to the gifted and talented programme?

35 replies

Clarinet9 · 23/02/2015 10:33

OK don't moan at me this is not a stealth boast or a reverse AIBU I know gifted and talented is a dirty word for some on mumsnet but......

So firstly we are overseas. My school is driving me mad it is big (over 500 children) Combined classes are very popular here and for operational reasons they have decided to combine 3 school years i.e. some of year 4 with all of 5 and 6.
My dd was a year 3 in the only year 3/4 class last year, this year she is pretty much the only child from her class who has been kept in a 3/4 class again (hope this makes sense all the other year 3's were in a straight 3 or a 2/3) so she is effectively repeating the year!
All well and good if she needs to except she is working 2 years above in maths and about 18 months above in reading and writing, she is pretty competitive and pretty mature. We asked the head to move her as soon as the lists came out and she refused, no reason given just 'I don't change my mind when I have made a decision'
The rest of her peers from last year are now on a different site, and are pretty much being educated in a very different way, (the details are not important), she however despite reading the Hobbit over Christmas, came home with an early learning chapter book (2 sentences to a page, no word seems to have more than 7 letters!) and maths problems that write out 6 lots of 10 counters make __ counters.
She feels like she is being punished and is really demotivated and uninspired by school.

So today she comes home with a letter inviting her to join the G&T programme and I want to refuse.

I simply want the school to educate her in the appropriate class with her peers all the time not just between 2 and 3 on Tuesday afternoon to try and placate her parents.

So AIBU to write back that since she feels so upset to be separated from her peers and they are so sure they can provide appropriate work for her in her current class that she is to be kept in that class in order to help her settle and we look forward to her commencing some more ability appropriate work before the end of the term?

OP posts:
Original poster
Clarinet9 · 24/02/2015 12:20

You can boast dozy!

I am not sure I can write and complain about the class that other people's children are in though can I? I am honestly not sure how to phrase that.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 24/02/2015 12:32

The teacher was rude about you/DD behind your back?? Shock

I suppose if you are not worried about your relationship with her, you can now complain to the head that the teacher is refusing to give appropriate work and doesn't appear to know what level your child is working at. Maybe if things become awkward enough they'll move you to the other class to appease the class teacher!

DozyDotes · 24/02/2015 12:40

I've been on the school council. It's true that you have better access to raise issues but it's scandalous that all of the school council reps have the 'best' classes! Are you in Aus? If so then the school council should have an advisory role only. The complaint should rightfully go to the principal (not the council) and it can then be escalated to the regional management from there if needed. I'd probably word it in a way that addresses the need for the 'perception' of fairness rather than outright accuse them of any corruption.

Prior to doing that though my advice would be to talk about how supportive of the school you've always been and that you're only doing this because of how concerned you are about your DDs unhappiness and perception she's been left behind. That survey she did is excellent evidence. Only if they won't move on that would I escalate it to the formal complaint stage. It's not fair and It's not right but I imagine that their respinse to a complaint will be to refute it. If you escalate it the whole thing can go on and on. Ultimately you're right but any changes to the perceived benefits available to the school council will probably happen too late for your DD.

DozyDotes · 24/02/2015 12:55

One other thing... If your Dd's teacher needs to give her extension work to do on her own she's definitely in the wrong class. In a school that size they should have no difficultty placing her in a class where there would be a small group doing that extension work. That might be another way to approach the request for change.

Original poster
Clarinet9 · 24/02/2015 13:11

(I have some lip reading capabilities they are not aware of!)

Thanks guys I shall think some more I am a bit surprised about the survey I left her to get on with it whilst I put her sister to bed

(and fair to say soupy make s a good point about evidence for it not working)

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Original poster
Clarinet9 · 27/02/2015 10:40

Updating! Meeting was a disaster basically they said we aren't changing anything so now you have to put a spin on it to try and convince her! The only reason they gave (if it was one I couldn't tell is that she isn't so far ahead that she shouldn't be able to find someone to work with some of the time) Truly my reasons for wanting her elsewhere are not about friends but started to say that everyone is put with friends (pleural) then when they realised that there is only 1 other girl from her class on this side of the road, started to talk about helping her visit the other site at lunchtime. They also accused us of making her unhappy about her class.

Teacher keeps making it all about her i.e. keeps saying that she can teach intermediate level etc etc. Which is deeply unhelpful because it is not about the teacher. However she radiated hostility to us the entire time so we are still left with a class we can't go in and a teacher we can't speak to which is also unfair on dd. (parents spend more time in schools here and are more involved so I will be there for her sibling but not even able to go to the door of her class to collect her an she will notice that)

I will try and find another school but really don't rate my chances.

What I can't decide is whether I need to follow up to the school with an email that I still disagree with them or do I just leave it? I am predicting quite a lot of absence this year so I am wondering whether it should be on record?

OP posts:
Original poster
Clarinet9 · 27/02/2015 10:41

oh if you are wondering we are sitting on the fence about G&T it clashes with other stuff the school has organised so might not be join ahead in the way they envisage!

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Dilbertdoes · 27/02/2015 10:52

I would put it in an email to the school, and have a good look at other schools, unless this school is so good in later years that it's worth sticking around for that.

Viviennemary · 27/02/2015 10:57

YANBU. I don't agree with gifted and talented programmes. They are divisive and can give children a false sense of how clever they are. I knew somebody whose DC went to gifted and talented for Maths and got a D at A level. What a waste of time that was.

Original poster
Clarinet9 · 27/02/2015 11:41

This one is all airy fairy work on something that interests you type stuff. My older child was supposed to do it last year but then they went round telling the chosen few (ha ha!!!!!) that they couldn't do it because the ones who were already doing it were enjoying it so much and having such a good time they didn't want to split them up!!!!!!!!!

I am realising the school is run by loons as I type all this.

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