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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is bu? Parking

36 replies

Pyjamaramadrama · 23/02/2015 06:44

Ok I'll try to explain as best I can.

I live in a semi detached house on a private bit of land with just 3 houses. It's set back off the road and each house has a long driveway with enough space for two cars, opposite but off road is a patch of no mans land for extra/visitor parking. Big enough for 2-3 cars. Plenty of street parking too.

For years now I've lived alone so just my car on drive. The neighbours have I suppose took liberties with the parking in that both ndn and their ndn have constantly had extra cars belonging to people who don't live there. Or friends who stay for a while. I'm talking old damaged cars and vans that are off the road, often with no wheels, covered in moss, supposed to be projects but eventually after 6-12 months of rotting they've gone to the scrap man. These extra cars have been left on their drives or on the no mans land bit. I've also found that neighbours often don't use their drives and just park on no mans land. They are not in the car trade business.

Anyway, my dp is moving in soon and has his own car and a work van.

Our plan was to put our cars on the drive and have the van on no mans land as dp is at work from very early am until 6-7pm.

This hasn't happened yet but ndn is possibly complaining and has asked for dp to put his car on their drive. I suspect that ndn doesn't want us using the extra parking but ndn only has one car belonging to the actual residents in the house so will still be driveway space plus the extra parking which is first come first served.

Dp doesn't want to put his car on ndn drive as he doesn't want to have to knock every time he wants to use his car which I can understand.

I don't want to upset ndn as we get on but I suspect ndn could change quickly if upset as has had several arguments with other neighbour. I feel stuck in the middle dp thinks ndn has a cheek.

We may decide in a few months we don't want two cars, we hope to move house in 12-18 months to a different area.

Who is bu?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 23/02/2015 06:45

Taken liberties.

OP posts:
londonrach · 23/02/2015 06:53

Tbh if land belongs to no one and not blocking anyone in id think who ever parks first. State of car doesnt matter. However if car is on a sore its not allowed on the public highway even if its just being stored. It has to be on private land. Any chance you can find out who owes no mans land?

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 23/02/2015 07:00

It doesn't belong to any of us it's just extra parking.

It's not so much the state of the cars more the point that for years the neighbours have had the full use of their driveways and the extra parking, even though the additional cars are just being stored for family and friends.

Yet now we may have more vehicle ndn is getting tetchy and has not in so many words asked dp to keep his car out of the way, or so it feels.

OP posts:
wowfudge · 23/02/2015 07:02

If you have rights to park on the other land as well as on your drive then of course you should park there if you want to. As for parking on NDN's drive, well I would point out the impracticalities of this, thank them but state it just wouldn't work. Perhaps they should use their drive for another vehicle of their own? May be inflammatory to say that last bit.

What I don't get is why your neighbours even know about the potential changes to the parking situation. Have you specifically told them or has it come out in conversation about DP moving in? I think sometimes how you broach things invites the person who really just has to suck up the change to suggest ways to preserve the status quo to their own advantage.

NDN can best be dealt with if you and your DP act together with other N to stop NDN bullying people into doing what he wants. As witnessed on last week's parking thread featuring NAR!

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 23/02/2015 07:03

Dp thinks we should just ignore ndn and use our own driveway for our cars, and he will use the e tea parking for his van if it is available at the point he gets home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 23/02/2015 07:07

Wowfudge, ndn knows that dp has a van and car as dp uses one or the other when he visits.

Ndn approached me and asked when dp is moving in (she's always asking in conversation) and I said next few weeks now.

Ndn then text me to ask if dp could leave his car behind hers on her drive, as in her words 'it would be easier', not sure who for.

OP posts:
TheRestofmylifeiswaiting · 23/02/2015 07:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wowfudge · 23/02/2015 07:10

Understood now - it wasn't clear from the OP. She's clearly bothered about parking to bring it up. I agree with your DP's proposed approach as the right one to take. Just because someone has always done something doesn't mean they can assert rights which they don't actually have. She'll just have to adjust to the change.

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 23/02/2015 07:12

The no mans land is a funny one. It is I suppose a public highway, well it is in that it definitely isn't attached to any one of the houses. But it is off the road, highly unlikely that a randomer would drive in and park their, but legally they could, it was designed as additional parking.

OP posts:
EstRusMum · 23/02/2015 07:13

Thinking about penguin bollards thread solution - buy the land and turn the no man's land in to garden. Or just put the gates up. Grin

But I'm here only for the parking thread. Please don't kick me out.
Flowers

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 23/02/2015 07:13

There

OP posts:
OddFodd · 23/02/2015 07:15

I'd just say thanks for the offer but it's easier if he parks the van on the nml. Finish with a nice PA smiley Grin

FishWithABicycle · 23/02/2015 07:25

I don't think there's really any such thing as no-man's land - someone owns that bit of ground. If it's not owned by a private individual it's owned by the Crown. Unless NDN has some specific arrangement with that owner giving them priority, it is first come first served. YANBU.

RedButtonhole · 23/02/2015 07:26

I don't understand what her problem is.

Surely if DP parks his van in no-mans land and she can't park there, she can use the extra space on her drive if she has friends staying or wants to keep an extra vehicle there?

If the land is indeed public highway then it has fuck all to do with her anyway and I wouldn't enter into any more discussion or negotiation about it.

FishWithABicycle · 23/02/2015 07:28

If it's not owned by a private individual or organisation/company it's owned by the Crown.

Ooh do see if whoever owns the land will sell it to you. You could start charging your NDN parking fees.

wowfudge · 23/02/2015 07:30

The problem Red I suspect is that this person has doing exactly as they wish for years and doesn't want to have to change their behaviour to accommodate someone else. They also possibly think they were there first and their rights trump those of someone who has just moved in and isn't the owner anyway.

Agree with pps - someone owns that land or it's the public highway. I'd do a land registry map search to find out who owns the title.

wowfudge · 23/02/2015 07:30

Has been doing

PunkrockerGirl · 23/02/2015 07:32

Don't engage. "Sorry that doesn't work for us" is sufficient.

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 23/02/2015 07:32

It was probably daft calling it nml, im tired, it's public parking or residents parking. Definitely 100% not owned by ndn.

I think that ndn just used to having the run of all the space for any potential extra vehicles.

She's a funny one though and can be really cheeky with her requests but so far I've managed to keep the peace.

OP posts:
NARsWife · 23/02/2015 07:36

How long has your neighbour been using the no mans land? And is she the only one who does? Because I've been struggling to understand why it would possibly be easier for her to have your dp park on her drive rather than this land that is for the use of anyone. Surely that has the potential to inconvenience her mor?

Is there any chance that she is, rightly or wrongly, under the impression that if she has had sole use of that land for a certain amount of time that under the law it would become hers and your dp is about to fuck it up? Or that the owner has agreed to sell it to her if no one else uses it after a certain amount of time and ditto your dp is going to spoil that for her?

Either way it doesn't matter. I wouldn't bring it up with her again and if she does with you I'd politely thank her for the offer of her drive and say you won't be needing it. And don't elaborate further. It's really none of her business where your dh chooses to park and if she persists I'd tell her that he'll park wherever there is space each evening and refuse to be drawn further.

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 23/02/2015 07:44

Nars it's a funny one as I say, the extra parking absolutely 100% doesn't belong to her. But if I've lived here for 10 years during that time on and off ndn has stored off the road cars for a relative who doesn't live there for several months at a time. Meaning that ndn has parked on the additional parking. Other than that it's only used for occasional visitors and there is definitely only one car in their household and has been for years.

I don't really understand the problem myself as dp will be out all day, the status quo is that there is enough spaces for everyone and I could see using her drive as being a nightmare.

OP posts:
diddl · 23/02/2015 07:45

Well if your OH would always be the last one onto & the first one off NDN's drive it wouldn't be a problem.

But it's likely to not be so simple!

I would say he uses the spare land if he can.

If not, could he park on the road blocking your drive with the van?

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 23/02/2015 07:50

Blocking the drive wouldn't be possible diddl without blocking the entrance to the homes.

It's really hard to explain the set up here as we're not really on a road but in a small piece of land surrounded by a fence and a border of trees and plants. You drive in off the road and there are the houses with their driveways and an exit with then a patch of additional parking.

My description isn't great I know.

OP posts:
diddl · 23/02/2015 07:57

No, I get you.

i mean it's no one else's business who parks where.

If the "no man's land" has been used as a free for all, no reason for your OH not to join in!

ArgyMargy · 23/02/2015 07:59

Seems bizarre that she specifically wants your dp to block himself in behind her own car. Perhaps after having to get up & move her car a dozen times at 6am she might change her mind?

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