Hi all, this is a repost from another area of the site - not an AIBU!
Ok.... this may be quite long-winded but I would be grateful if anyone could give me some advice.
Long story short, I have a 2yo DS. I am technically a lone parent, I have been since DS was born. I got with my current partner when DS was about 4 months old.
We don't currently live together but we have talked about it for a while now and we were hoping to get a house at some point this year. Also we have discussed having another child - we were hoping to do this after getting a home together. I had my sights set on possibly trying next year, or maybe the year after.
I recently got a new job - I have only been in the role since November. My job is fairly physically demanding plus it involves working with some low-level radioactive sources. I have a line manager and there is only me who does my role. My line-manager and I tend to work as a team but we are both 'independent' of each other in the sense that we are both very busy and will collaborate where we need to but other than that we get on with our respective duties. We are both heavily relied upon in our respective roles.
My partner has a job which he has been unhappy with for some time. He has recently been offered another job which means working for a company but basically being self-employed.
I found out on Friday night I am pregnant. This has come as a huge shock since we haven't been actively trying. If anything we've been actively avoiding getting pregnant for the time-being. I had to take a course of antibiotics earlier in the month and feel they may have interfered with my regular contraception.
DP is very happy that I am pregnant and cannot wait to get a house with me. The thing is I currently work 20+ miles away from home and commute daily via car. I also take DS to preschool near to where I work. The fees are expensive and I only work 4 days a week to keep costs down.
I feel this pregnancy is ill-timed. Whilst I am happy in a sense I feel that a) we may not be able to get a mortgage due to DP going into a soon-to-be new self employed role.
b) I really feel like I would be letting my employer down - as I say I work very independently of my line manager and he relies heavily upon me (and vice versa). There is only me that does my role specifically in my department which is very physically demanding. I feel as though my employers will think I have stiffed them over. To top it all our whole department will soon be going thru a whole refurbishment process and we have lots of heavy machinery, equipment, etc in there which will have to be relocated to another building and will require a LOT of ground work - this is the busiest, most hectic period the department has ever known.
c) I don't know if I could afford to return to work after this baby is born as I think childcare cost would be too darn expensive with two children.
When do you suppose I should tell my employers I am pregnant? I shall be off to the docs this week to confirm the pregnancy but I don't think I can say anything right now. Any advice would be great, thanks