to not practice DS handwriting?

[fastichecastiche]

I apologize in advance if I sound like a complete muppet - I have no experience of the UK school system and just do not understand how my son, age 4 is being taught handwriting.
They are teaching him 'cursive' writing already which i just don't understand and I have been told that he might stay in reception for another year as they have mixed classes at his school. Not a problem if that's what he needs, and this is because he has poor fine motor skills, his teacher told me - and that did scare the life out of me. I think he is fine, he can read really well (he is ahead on the word sheets they send home and can read all the little books), enjoys being read to, loves numbers (can count in hundreds, add and subtract - not a stealth boast, i'm very proud of him!)

He cannot write his own name and cannot legibly write a single letter of the alphabet in cursive writing. He things he is good at it though, which i think is lovely, so while writing absolute gibberish he says 'aren't i doing well mum!'; and i say, yes darling, because i don't want to knock his confidence.
i don't want to push him at home and make is something he doesn't like. but i am very worried about this fine motor skills problem and worry that if he cant do good hand writing at school then he will in some way fail. But he is only 4 i cant help thinking, has never had any interest in drawing/ art no matter what we've done beyond splashing about with paints and colours.

is it unreasonable of me therefore to refuse to repeatedly practice the 4 letters per week that the teacher has told me to do at home? Should I seek professional help for him, if that's whats best? I don't know what though. ALl suggestions gratefully received, but go easy on me I am really struggling to understand whats required of him, and of me!

It depends on the schools policy but most schools will start with the letters in the child's name and then follow the schools phonics sequence, this allows for the child to 'play' with the letter and the sound that it makes in order to make the connection between what it looks like in a book, sounds like in words and how it is recorded on the page.

It is becoming more and more common for pre cursive to be taught in Reception moving on to cursive as soon as the child is ready.

I have just started working in a school as a TA where cursive writing is taught in reception. Its a policy that has been in place for three years and the quality of handwriting in year 2's is significantly better across all ability levels than my three children were producing at that age. I had no experience of it as a parent and found it very difficult to adjust to. I feel it encourages better letter formation and stops letters being transposed eg b and d. My experience is limited, I only joined the school in November but I think its a good way of teaching handwriting.

Honestly? I've learnt by experience that if a teacher asks you to do done work with your child at home, it's because they really I mean REALLY need it.
Yes it's crap to do it. Yes you will have a child that is unhappy but you will do him a huge favour to support him.

Another eyes re 'staying in reception class' He won't. He will be in a mixed class with children who are in reception but will still do the same work than in Y1. Ime it's a good thing if your child is a little less mature. Not so much if he is doing very well in all other areas.

the usborne books - wipe clean mazes/first letters etc helped my son a lot in getting the motor control/precision before writing without being too 'sit and do this exercise' prescriptive

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/360534/ELG10___Writing.pdf

is this what i should be following?

I would suggest purchasing Write from the Start. It helps develop the skills needed for writing but isn't actually writing.

If you have concerns about his fine motor skills I would speak to your doctor about a referral to occupational therapy. These appointments take ages so its worth asking for a referral now - you never know he might not actually need it by the time you get an appointment.

I would also look online to see if you can check that he has established his dominant hand. A quick google and I've found this although there may be better sites. If a child hasn't fully established this it can make a lot of activities difficult including writing.

www.ot-mom-learning-activities.com/hand-dominance.html

I've just read your OP again. My DS1 also had no interest in drawing, colouring anything like that or 'little lego' and we now know that his poor fine motor skills explain this. He also has quite poor gross motor skills (they're all linked). It's only now I have DS2 and DD1 that I realise how different he was as a toddler and pre-schooler. Now at nearly 8 he still struggles to write and is probably moving onto a laptop in the next 12-18 months.

I doubt for one minute your DS is the same so I'm not saying this to panic you (mine has complex issues outside of his poor motor skills) but I would say do intervene on the handwriting. Not by doing handwriting but by helping him improve his fine motor skills and probably his gross motor skills too. What are his ball skills like for example? Or his balance?

It sounds like your DS is really bright if his reading and numbers are anything to go by so the issue is writing. I would really keep on at the school you will need to be putting them under pressure as to what they're doing to support him. DS1's school managed to totally undermine his self-esteem by testing his spelling by getting him to write the words down - fantastic a child who can't write but can spell getting 0 on a test because he can't write and they knew that! Sorry I can rant all day about this.

My ds1 has problems with fine motor skills. These are some of the things that the OT suggested:

• writing with markers on paper
• write on/wipe off board

(markers are easier to write with as they don't have to press as hard as they do with a pencil)

• lots of activities using the pincher grip like playing with beads, moving dry rice from one cup to another, pick up sticks/dry spaghetti pasta... just anything that works the finger/pincher grip
• pencil grips or the pencils that are triangular

ds had handwriting practice in reception - also precursive. I forced him to do it and he hated it and his handwriting has generally been bad ever since so it didnt help. However I think it was a case for ds of too boring rather than too difficult

It's quite common for children to be taught cursive writing in reception. We do it and have noticed a huge difference in the children who were taught cursive from Reception.
To be honest if you've been asked to practise at home it's because his teacher has identified it as an issue. Not because she wants to make your life hard. Fine motor skills do impact on more than just handwriting and you'd be doing him a disservice to not do anything to help him.

As others have said, there are plenty of fun things to do to practise fine motor skills. Threading beads and buttons, using tweezers to pick up objects (turn it into a racing game) there's a really nice game called avalanche www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0035EQDT0/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1424646928&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SY200_QL40&keywords=avalanche++game&dpPl=1&dpID=51czW%2BlYXEL&ref=plSrch and dough gym is really fun (youtube it) also buying theraputty and doing similar activities with that.

In terms of practising letter formation my favourite thing is writing in a tray of shaving foam! Or using a paint brush and water outside, chalks etc.
It can be fun!

PRE-cursive from the start (letters with "flicks," right?) sounds OK, but cursive from age 4 sounds really odd to me. I think we didn't actually start joining hand till we were about 6.5 or 7.

My dd was also held back in reception because of her fine motor skills, all children develop in different areas at different speeds, it is certainly not a serious problem.

As for learning to write in cursive, it is a Montessori thing too. They teach children to do circles and sweeping curves first.

Do cooperate with the teacher, she is the expert you have entrusted your child to.

Maybe talk to the teacher about focussing on his fine motor with non writing activities. If he isn't ready for handwriting this will make it a battlefield, and chances are you're going to need him to cooperate and practice later on.

As another point of view, I have 2 sons (both bright) who struggled with fine motor in the early years. They refused to participate, as they knew they weren't good at it and it didn't look like they wanted it to.

Son #1, I took the relaxed approach, he's a boy, he'll get there when he's ready, just not interested, don't want to force him - consequence was his brain ramped up to top speed and his hand has never caught up (he's 11 now). His ideas stream out, but his fine motor limitations means he only can write down some of it, ususally an abridged verison.

Son #2, same thing happening, so I did intervene, encouraged him to paint, peg things up, do play doh etc. Has made some difference, but still the brain is faster and he is such a perfectionist that he rubs things out that aren't perfectly formed, which frustrates him (he is 7).

Sigh, so don't know that I have cracked the answer to this yet. Just wanting to stress that bright children will bring their own challenges to the lack of fine motor skills and the earlier to get onto it the better...

Would def speak to the teacher for ideas on how you can help your son but also if this is an issue you should be more concerned about. DD is a July baby and in PreK3 (we are in the US) in the public school system. DD's teacher gave me some wonderful plastic books which DD writes on with a non-perm marker. I found a similar book in Target for $2 and I am sure you can get something like this in the UK in WH Smith. The letters are all dotted lines with arrows helping you direct your child in the direction they need to draw.

DD is incredibly bright and hates this activity. If she does it properly for half an hour she gets a sticker. Works every single time!

You can get handwriting practice books in Poundland but I wouldn't do that - I'd do the games that PPs have suggested.

Many primary schools teach cursive from the start - it's much better for children with muscle memory issues like dyspraxia to only learn to write once.

My kids are educated in the Australian system. They learn running writing at about 8 years.

4 years seems very young to make a decision to keep down a year because of fine motor skills.

Really thanks all.
I've made a little chart with things to buy and suggestions from the thread. much appreciated, and i'll report back

Keeping children down a year just does not really happen in the UK system (except in very rare circumstances). It is not like in Australia where there is some flexibility about the school year children end up in.

In this context I suspect it means that the school has less classes than the number of years in primary school (7). This means that some classes are made up of mixed year groups.

The school I attended growing up was like this, 6 classes for 7 years so everybody spent two years at one class in their school career.

Like others have said, it's important not to give the message that staying two years in one class is being 'kept down a year' or 'repeating a year'