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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New house

4 replies

Amber76 · 21/02/2015 23:04

A lot has happened in past year for me - we had a third baby and bought our first house. We moved in a few weeks ago and I can't stop thinking that we've made a huge mistake. The house is in a rural location about 30 mins from Dhs family - we used to be over an hours drive from them. I find some of his family really irritating - I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to buy this house. I genuinely never thought about how we would see so much more of them if we moved here. In the past it was easier to ignore irritating behaviours as we didn't see them too often but various family members keep dropping in and driving me mad.

It doesn't help that his family thought we were mad to buy this house as it's in such a quiet spot.

I just don't like where the house is - there are a few neighbours spread out along a long stretch a road but they are all much older than us. We have 3 young kids and there don't seem to be any young kids around us at all. There are no toddler groups or anything like that and I feel guilty as my three year old loved the groups we used to go to in our rented home.

The house itself is nice and we certainly couldn't have afforded anything close to where we were living. We felt under pressure to get a mortgage as I was pregnant with third baby. I think this anxiety clouded my judgement and we made a poor choice - I feel sick thinking that we have taken out this huge loan and I am constantly daydreaming about winning the lottery and moving back to where we used to live.

Dh has a long commute now, though he should be able to get transferred in a few years. But I will be on my own with 3 very young kids a lot. I'm a sahm.

Dh is being patient with me and says we made the decision together (true) and that we just have to get on with it now (I accept this is the case but wish it wasn't). I feel tearful a lot and think we've made a horrible mistake.

OP posts:
Loletta · 21/02/2015 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TourGuideBarbie · 21/02/2015 23:11

Could it be that you're just feeling unsettled because it's so new?

When I moved I felt awful for weeks, I hate change Wink but I love it now.

And are there not toddler groups you could drive to, even if they were a bit of a trek?

scousadelic · 21/02/2015 23:20

OP, when my DS was 1 we moved to a house that I was unsure about. While there I had DD but I never settled there, it was not a house I liked and I felt like I was marking time until we could move so I do understand.

You will manage this, try not to panic as it's probably too soon to say if you might feel differently given time. Give it some time and let things (and your hormones) settle. If you don't feel it is the right place for you then you can move but don't rush into it.

FWIW we moved here 17 years ago and for the first year or two I would have moved back to where we lived before in a heartbeat but, gradually, things improved and now I can't think I would move from here

Jackw · 21/02/2015 23:25

Ok, it's not forever. If you really hate it you can sell and move again. But, it's early days. What are the problems? Talk to your husband about how you can stop his family dropping in. Visits should be by prearrangement only and at a frequency you can deal with (preferably when your husband is there to deflect some of the behaviour). You and the children need a social network. Do you drive and do you have a car? These are essential. Then find the toddler groups, even if it means a long drive. This is so important for you as well as her.

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