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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be heartily sick of sharing a bed with giant DCs.

25 replies

Cruickshanks · 21/02/2015 11:44

DC2 and 3 are 7 and 8. Both total starfish. They share a room but DC3 has issues going to sleep (possibly related to SN) and DC2 has a very early start so more often than not one of them will end up being put in our bed. Then when we come up it's a pain to move them; I'm not strong enough to lift them, DH likes to cuddle them, they look so sweet...

DH sleeps like a log so I'm left to sleep on the sliver left at the edge of the bed or try to sleep in the empty bed in DCs room which is really uncomfortable as a, um, larger lady

weekends are worse as the DCs alternate who sleeps with us/it is expected so they don't even start off in their own beds.

7 and 8 is too old to be co-sleeping, right???

OP posts:

drbonnieblossman · 21/02/2015 11:47

Co-sleeping works if all co-sleepers are happy with the arrangement.

No right or wrong age.

OwlinaTree · 21/02/2015 11:59

Buy a bigger bed? Rewards for staying in their own bed all night?

Toomanyworriedsonhere · 21/02/2015 12:01

We have an old cotbed mattress that lives under our bed and is used on the floor for DCs that need it. Sometimes when ill but also just when struggling or lonely.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 21/02/2015 12:01

Sleep in their bed? Not ideal but its what i do when my much too old in some peoples eyesmassive ds wants to sleep in my bed in a bloody starfish position

Purplepoodle · 21/02/2015 12:01

Either sleep train them or go sleep in the kids beds

Dwerf · 21/02/2015 12:08

My 11 year old dd spent last night in my bed. Simply because she wanted to. But it's a double and there's only usually me in it. She's not small either, only a few inches shorter than I am!

Is there room for a single mattress you could put in your room and make a new rule, you can sleep in our bedroom but you have to be on the mattress?

All mine have naturally stopped coming into bed with me, though dd3 is taking the longest. I think I will miss it when she finally stops.

Original poster

Cruickshanks · 21/02/2015 12:18

DH actively enjoys cuddling up to them so I don't think the mattress in our room idea would work.

maybe should buy better mattresses for their beds (the ones they have are fine for them but uncomfortable for me)?

OP posts:

lucymam · 21/02/2015 12:18

There really are only two solutions. You either work with them to get them to sleep in their own beds, or you find somewhere else to sleep where you have enough room. You do deserve to be able to sleep in comfort.

Theas18 · 21/02/2015 12:25

Get a better bed in the DC room so you get a blissful night alone and DH can cuddle the kids and he and they will be happy too!

It's the easy solution and it won't be for ever.

WowOoo · 21/02/2015 12:31

We made ours to stay in their own beds when they reached a certain size/age.
They are allowed to sneak in after 7 a.m. but only if it's Saturday or Sunday morning.

Looking back, I am so glad I made this rule.

whothehellknows · 21/02/2015 12:32

Mine do this too, but since it's just me in my bed it's not such a problem. I just budge them over if they take up too much space. But I think a better mattress for their beds might help.

Or, a spare mattress in one of their rooms so they can join their sibling if they get lonely?

DoItTooJulia · 21/02/2015 12:33

Oh god. I have a cosleeping 2 yo and I think he's too big for our bed, so YANBU!

I have a 9 yo DS who would merrily sleep with me too. So sometimes we pull his mattress into our room and between the King sized bed and single materess we all sleep in our room.

I want a private bedroom, complete with a private bed and a private bathroom. Sadly, until I win the lottery, I'm stuck with elbows and curled toes jammed into my back all night. And musical beds. And the occasional head butt.

WowOoo · 21/02/2015 12:33

Hadn't finished. Could you do similar with all but dc3? It's a start, isn't it?

Original poster

Cruickshanks · 21/02/2015 12:41

I swear DC1 would be in bed with us too but he likes his privacy lately (teenager).

If I made them stay in their room it would be unfair for DC2 who has a 5.30am start as DC3 is often awake and noisy until past 10pm.

DH is no help as he loves cuddling his tiny babies or whatever sappy stuff.

I think naice mattresses for the DCs bed are the way to go now hopefully they are past night accidents

OP posts:

espressotogo · 21/02/2015 13:01

Both our DCs 6and 12 have had double beds from an early age because I prefer them and it means we can either get in with them when they want to co sleep or we are comfy if they push us out of our own bed :)

Original poster

Cruickshanks · 21/02/2015 13:04

We clearly chose badly! DC1 has a cabin bed but is way too busy wanking to want his brothers or his mum in with him!

OP posts:

Original poster

Cruickshanks · 21/02/2015 13:05

Bigger beds are so pricey though and not sure we could fit them in. Looks like I need to sleep in theirs?

OP posts:

Alligatorpie · 21/02/2015 13:12

Julia, I have the same problem. A 2 year old who kicks all night, her new favourite thing is to put her feet in my pj pants, and a 9 year old who doesn't like to sleep alone, so usually ends up with us.

My dream is to have my own bathroom - with a keypad lock, so no one barges in (Dh would never go for separate rooms). Until I win the lottery, I live in hope!

OP I feel your pain. My dd's are in bunk beds, so the thought of climbing up to the top bunk at 2 am is not appealing.

cardibach · 21/02/2015 13:19

Why does DC2 have to be up at 5.30? Is that something which could change? I couldn't cope with a DC in bed, so trained mine (I am aware I was lucky that this was easy). I think your real problem her is DH, though - you need to sort it out with him.

Original poster

Cruickshanks · 21/02/2015 13:24

DC2 gets up at 5.30 for school... Agree DH needs training but he is the one who "just wants to be cuddled" - he was sent to boarding school at 7 with no other options, so has issues around DC feeling 'abandoned'.

OP posts:

DoItTooJulia · 21/02/2015 16:22

Alligator, hello! The same age gap- woohoo- I've never come across anyone with the exact same gap and seemingly the same night issues! I'm knackered! Dh wouldn't go in for separate rooms either, but i am past caring! My lottery fantasy may include an interconnecting door between our rooms but only once my sleep deficit has been repaid!

In all seriousness, I regularly measure our bedroom to see if an emperor sized bed would fit. The room never gets any bigger though .

morethanpotatoprints · 21/02/2015 16:34

There is no right or wrong age and I agree with others who say, it only works as long as everybody is happy with the situation.
For us it was never going to happen and have never once had a child in our bed.
Its what works for you.
If you aren't happy, getting enough sleep, or benefitting from the experience, you need to change.

Nanny0gg · 21/02/2015 17:55

Your 3 year-old gets up at 5.30 for school?

Have I read that right?

Original poster

Cruickshanks · 21/02/2015 19:29

no, my 8 year old gets up at 5.30 for school. not much better I know.

OP posts:

Ragwort · 21/02/2015 19:33

Just get yourself a better bed in the children's room. I cannot bear sharing my bed even with my DH - we've just got back from a luxury hotel stay and everything was perfect except the bed .

A decent night's sleep is essential. I usually have a 6 foot bed all to myself .

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