to think I'm being driven mad by my own lists

[TeaNotCoffeePlease]

I write lists: to do lists; shopping lists; 'what I must do today' lists. Everything goes on these lists from the vital to the mundane. I subdivide the lists (telephone calls; children etc) and put them on paper and laptop but still the lists continue to grow and I think I now spend more time sorting the lists than doing the tasks.

The main list - with propbably 100 tasks on is on my laptop - then I'll take say 15 things off it each day and write them on paper - always sure I'll get theese things done each day, but they never all get done. Then the next day I'll put the things that were'nt done back on the main list.

I've tried colour coding; highlighting;not using a paper list etc but realise my list, though working as a base to keep all this stuff together so i don't forget anything, its not working to help me get things done efficiently.

I do just do things - I don't have to see it on a list to do it

In the nicest possible way op, Have you been to the GP?

You behaviour sounds obsessive

You are putting way too much pressure on yourself. If you aren't achieving what's on the list you are giving yourself a stick to beat yourself with.

If things aren't getting done are they really that important?

Sorry, overuse of the word yourself!

What actual 100 things do You have on your main list?

What Cats said. This is not making you happy and it's not making your life easier and it is within your control to change that. You might need help - I happen to think you do - but this needs to change. This is your life and you only get the one shot - don't let this lists thing ruin it for you!

If you are struggling with 15 things, maybe pick 5 for a day and see how you get on with that?

You need an app. I use ChoreChecklist.

You can have several different lists on there, e.g. Home, Work.
You can set the tasks as recurring, e.g. once a week, once a month, one-off.
The app then displays them by date or location.
Can be backed up to the Cloud.

Once I have added the task to the app, I can just forget about it. V.helpful for those with anxiety/worry/obsessive tendencies.

Tea - I am the same way, not as bad these days though.. I have a medium to long term to do list which I don't look at unless say I have a week off or something. The main to do list I cap at 40 things - if it gets there I will create a new list (all of these are in the iPhone reminders function) called "today". I try to be realistic and set aside an hour or so to get as many of the admin type ones done in one go. I get anxious if main list is at 30+ items..

To cope -
delete things you know you will remember (trust yourself a bit). Delete unnecessary things that don't matter whether you remember them (hard I know).
Move all non urgent things that can wait till you get a run of time to medium/long term list. If you haven't done them in 6-12 months, delete them if you can.
To do list items have to be done in the next week or month.

Slowly learning to let go of some control is the way to do it. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Thank you for your concern, but I don't think I'm mad or obsessive - I'm just being very inefficient with regards to my lists

Things on my lists my lists are stuff like: renew passports; phone bank; buys DSs birthday present; research new yoga class- that sort of thing

Surely if you need to phone the bank, you pick up the phone and phone the bank?

Would you really forget to buy your ds a birthday present?

It sounds like you are making so much hard work for yourself for no reason.

Thank you Madam I feel you understand where I'm coming from.

You sound a bit like me OP. I have OCD.

There is definitely an underlying issue here and maybe a trip to your gp would help? Some things on your list seem unnecessary to have on, if you need to phone the bank don't you just do it? A bit obsessive.

Hello.

Are you me?

I subdivide lists into things like phone calls/mindless filing/housework/stuff to go out and do (collect parcels, take yet more crap to the dump etc)

Also I buy an olde worlde diary and write things in it in advance - so I pick a day for the dump run or when I'm going to look into finding a new ISP and write it in on that day. Also, in terms of movable jobs, the post it note is my friend.

Then I jettison myself into the 21st century and bung a load of alarms on my phone on repeat (tip from friend who remembers nothing otherwise)

Reversing in time a bit (!) I have a whiteboard with long term jobs and reminders on - stuff that needs an eye on it, or isn't urgent but could do with doing before the end of time, random stuff I won't remember otherwise.

I have a calendar (from 2003!) that has everyone's birthday and special days on that sits on my desk, so I know to buy cards/presents/flowers/arrange a party.

When a thing comes up, I have to put it on the 'right' list - so for your examples, the birthday present goes on the internet list (post it note on laptop if urgent, other wise on Word doc on desktop) - the internet list also would include researching yoga. Then the 'next trip to the high street' list would include the passport renewal and also the birthday present. The 'phone these bastards' list would include the call to the bank. I also have a 'call friends' list which is far less combative!

I name my lists in a way that amuses me, the shopping list lives in the kitchen and woe betide anyone who a) moves it and b) doesn't put their own shopping requests on the actual list (instead of thinking I'll magically remember it ffs).

I know this sounds complicated and like I have issues, but it's less so in practice and if I think about it, probably more about trying to maintain a facade of control in my life. Do I have OCD? I doubt it - the house is a mess, I have no idea where my phone is unless I call it, probably I've left the gas on and the bathroom sink has had a bucket under it for weeks because I CBA to have the whole thing pulled out AGAIN to fix it, it can wait till we have the whole bathroom done.

And I've learned to be ruthless about stuff that realistically, just isn't going to get done, so there's not point in putting it on a list.

AND my friend has a GENIUS (imo) system of writing jobs on a folded bit of paper, chucking it in a box with "40,000" (her number!) others, then closing her eyes and picking one out, and doing it there and then. I would try that but I fear I'd spent hours researching yoga and leaving the cupboards empty and mortgage unpaid.......

I am aware I sound utterly bonkers from the above, and much like I do need help, but it's more to do with being organised when I'm the one who has to do all the domestic jobs etc.

Also the thought of adding 'make GP appointment about all these fucking lists' to my phone calls list, would in fact have me writing a 'shit that's not a problem and I can't be arsed with' list!

Um tbh if I do have an obsession I think it might be with stationery......!

Thing we are as one

The 4,000 box sounds interesting...may put it on my list to do sometime

Wunderlist. Free app. You can classify tasks by project, type, date, urgency etc. you can print off a daily list or tick things on your phone. You can easily change the deadline when you realise you can't possibly get everything done :-) lifesaver.

a - look at Covey's 7 habits time management matrix. You have 4 sectors - 'urgent and important', 'not urgent but important', 'not important but urgent' and 'neither urgent nor important'.

Spend your time on the 'not urgent but important' tasks. Ditch the 'neither urgent nor important' ones. If you have time do the 'urgent but not important' ones. If you do this, you may never get 'both urgent and important' ones which are the ones that give you stress.

b - look at Bullet Journal www.bulletjournal.com/ I've adapted my bullet journal to have a month by month diary at the start [printed from my mac diary] and I do a week by week planner which has 'days/to do/to get/meals' - one in each of 4 sections which I rule off on the page.

DH and I have recently realised my To do list is daunting and unnacheivable. We've gone through it and deprioritised a load of stuff to 'next month', 'Summer' and 'next year'. Would that help reduce yours? Then you forget about those items for a bit and they don't enter your active list and so not need rejigging with the rest.

Yes as other posts say - get an app! I use Remember the Milk. You can subdivide into personal and work etc - any number of headings. You date them and they will even send you a reminder to your email account with that day's tasks. You can add notes (eg, present ideas) or links (eg holiday cottage). The best thing is that it frees my head from remembering every little thing and everything is in one place.

I have mental lists and feel like I never get enough done. But a co-worker once said that if you have a list you should strike one thing off a day, and add no more than one thing onto it. That way it doesn't get too long!

I do use excel spreadsheets for keeping tabs on money and bills.

So, nowt wrong with lists so long as they are useful.

I have my to-do lists divide up into time frames - I have an overall 5 year plan list (big things - children, mortgage, savings), 1 year (new car, holiday, promotion), then monthly (this tends to remain the same - budget plan, book appointments, along with ad hoc things like MOT/renew insurances when necessary) then a weekly one that has everything else (shopping/meal plan, birthdays to buy for, phone calls to make, housework). It gets split between me and DH and we just cross things off as we go - if it doesn't get done it just gets added to next weeks list.
I spent 1 day writing all the lists and now it takes about 10 minutes each week to do the weekly one.

I understand the madness OP, I used to have a million of them all over the place but I couldn't keep up with them!

I have a main to do list on my Ipad, and I write out a to do list each day. I also sometimes make extra lists of e.g. 'things to do this half-term'. However, the main list has 114 items on it (I just counted) and it never seems to get any shorter. I have never sorted it into types of task because I know with my list obsession I could easily spend all my time on list admin. I might look into some of the app suggestions.

There's nothing wrong with lists. There is something wrong with lists that get so out of control that they dominate you and leave you feeling like a failure. Obsessing over lists is a problem. Having lists isn't.

This sounds a lot like me but I am surprised about all the suggestions about going to the GP about it. Wouldn't they politely suggest you stop wasting their time?