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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

leaving a 4yr old while you sleep is crazy?

20 replies

bumblebeerat · 21/02/2015 00:28

I work nights and on one of my first shifts a colleague who I was chatting to about having children ect asked about when I get to sleep in the day so I said that either I sleep 2 hrs and pick my 4yr old up from school then stay awake till my oh gets home or he has him while I sleep all day or if he's working and it's a weekend I just have to stay awake with the 3 children until he's home.

Ever since this conversation she hasn't stopped telling me that my children are really badly behaved and that they should let me sleep as they are old enough to amuse themselves. I can understand what she means about my 10yr old and maybe even my 6yr old but a 4yr old really?? What If something happened to him? I think it's ridiculous but maybe I'm wrong what do you all think?

OP posts:
mummybear3813 · 21/02/2015 00:31

Yeah I agree, 4 years old is too young to be left alone

Original poster
bumblebeerat · 21/02/2015 00:42

I always imagine the headlines if something awful happened and I was sleeping. You hear of that sort of thing all the time

OP posts:
perfectlybroken · 21/02/2015 00:46

Yes I agree 4 is too young. I used to nap when I was pregnant with ds2 when ds1 was 3, but maybe for half an hour while he watched something and I was right next to him.

Nodramallama · 21/02/2015 00:47

I wouldn't intentionally leave them so I could go to sleep, but we've all dozed off while dcs are up and about I shot out of bed this morning like a rocket after I heard my plates smashing in the kitchen dts 4 were trying to make me and themselves breakfast so 4 imo is far to young

trashcanjunkie · 21/02/2015 00:49

Hmm, I'm not sure... Truth be told, my eldest used to get up on his own when he was twoBlush......in my defence, we lived in a tiny flat, which was entirely baby proofed, and he'd happily watch pingu for a couple of hours until it was seven o clock....

I also used to sleep in on a Saturday when my twins were about two. I had a tv in my bedroom and they'd sit cuddled in with me in bed while I snoozed (I can't remember what they watched)

Maybe I'm a terrible mother..... But they've all survived. They have never been 'naughty' in that way. I have friends who can't turn their back on the dcs for a second, lest they get into the cupboard and start drinking bleach. I think mine were all to lazy, and liked lazing about watching to.

Having said that, I'd feel very different about going to bed int the day time. It was never proper sleep, just dozing I did. I don't think YABU. Fuck your colleague she sounds like a knobber.

Original poster
bumblebeerat · 21/02/2015 00:59

I've dozed off too in the same room as them but she means sleeping a few hours in bed. She is a knob but was just wondering what other people's views where?

OP posts:
SorchaN · 21/02/2015 01:00

It depends entirely on the child. My eldest was fine to be left to her own devices at four. My youngest was a completely different story and I couldn't turn my back for a second.

You know your kids, and your colleague (who barely knows you) is being unreasonable to criticise your parenting decisions. The most she can reasonably do is ask questions about how you manage the situation.

She probably needs to be told to mind her own business.

trashcanjunkie · 21/02/2015 01:03

Actually, the more I think about it.... And to be fair, I have drunk an amount of rum this evening Grin the more I reckon your chump of a colleague is merely trying to validate her own behaviour by ridiculing yours. Tell her to piss off, (obv in less abrasive ways) but really, don't let her keep on at you like this. I can't bear it when people relentlessly bleat on about the same fucking subject... Poor you!

GoadyGeisha · 21/02/2015 01:04

4 is too young to be left to their own devices.

If you are really tired then take them into bed with you to watch tv/DD quietly while you doze. If they get out of bed you'll 'feel' it. Even a bit of on-off dozing will do you good if you are really tired.

trashcanjunkie · 21/02/2015 01:05

Dear god - alcohol has obliterated my grasp of grammar. A prize to the first person who can successfully interpret my sterling wisdom.... Hmm

trashcanjunkie · 21/02/2015 01:05

And spelling it would seem......

QTPie · 21/02/2015 05:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

AggressiveBunting · 21/02/2015 05:40

I quite often have a nap and leave DS (4) playing Lego or whatever in his room or the sitting room. I just tell him to wake me up if he wants something. I can't really see what he could do that's so terrible. We live in an apartment so maybe that gives me more comfort as it's all on one level. However, at the same time, depends on the child, depends what you're comfortable with.

treaclesoda · 21/02/2015 05:47

I would doze half asleep on the sofa with my three year old pottering about. That sort of twilight zone sleep where you're actually still aware of the noises around you. But I wouldn't go to bed for proper sleep.

Goneintohibernation · 21/02/2015 13:21

I would say generally that a four year old is too young to be left regularly when you sleep, although to some extent it does depend on the child. I think most would be ok for the odd hour or two here or there while they are occupied watching tv or similar.

Having said that, if you are regularly having to work nights and stay up all day I don't think that is sustainable long term.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 21/02/2015 13:26

I have only just left mine to sleep for a little while (like an extra hour on a sunday morning) in the last year or so but they are now 10 and 8, I certainly wouldn't do it with a 4 year old.

It really is nothing to do with your colleague though whatever you do.

Bluetonic123 · 21/02/2015 13:34

When I was 4 I used to sometimes get up before my parents on Saturdays and go downstairs and watch tv til they got up. I guess it was never for very long but I am not sure why being asleep in the day would be anymore dangerous than that if your house is child-proof.

yummyfairycake · 21/02/2015 14:44

I leave mine up whilst still in bed. They both started from age 2, and never done anything wrong. They just watch tv or play with their figures.

HighwayDragon · 21/02/2015 15:26

My dd wakes at 5-6am, there is no way in hell I'm getting up at that hour, so she amuses herself till 7/8 when she wakes us up for breakfast. She's 4 btw

Mrsjayy · 21/02/2015 15:58

What would happen if you had a few hours sleep really? why can't you lie amd slepp on the sofa while the kids are pottering about your 10yr old Could wake you but I think you are being a tiny bit of a martyr the workmate was a knob though insulting your children like that

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