AIBU to ask you to become a Dementia Friend?

[lilac26]

I did the Dementia Friends course at college today, and now I'm a Dementia Friend.

It is just about understanding a little bit about dementia, and maybe making a tiny bit of difference to somebody by having that understanding.

The website has lots of information for those wanting to learn more about dementia, a video you can watch, and details of how to have face to face training if that is what you would prefer.

www.dementiafriends.org.uk/

I did it a few months back.
Worthwhile I think, just as an awareness raiser.

BackforGood
Really well put together session, isn't it.

Its a very good thing to do ... However do also consider being a friend to the Dementia carers the ones that are with the patient day in./day out, they actually need as much, if not more support.

My office is doing this in a few weeks time. It looks like a great idea. I would hope that carers and the challenges they face is part of the session.

The challenges faced by carers of those who have dementia was not covered in the session today. It seemed to be about the person who has dementia.

They taught a little about the basics of dementia, what it is, different types, and about the short term memory loss and perception difficulties which might be experienced. The hope is to increase the understanding of, and so support for, people who are living with dementia and having a bit of trouble going about their day to day lives.

I struggle with this - I have family experience of dementia and know a fair bit about it. Thank you for caring.

We need to treat our elderly/ill/vulnerable members of society a hell of a lot better. But I don't want play any part of supporting Cameron crowing 'ooh we have x thousand dementia friends' like he's fixed it all, when services are so so poor.

I'm hoping that I am sort of an unofficial dementia friend anyway just by what I have experienced already.

Waitingon I totally agree with you. I have been brought to my knees caring for my mum who was diagnosed a year ago with dementia. What practical help does being a dementia friend offer me and my mum? None at all.

I think it's great people are doing it but I nearly had a breakdown trying to care for my dad with dementia for a year on my own. I kept contacting social services and being told we were on their urgent waiting list. Nothing! Eventually he had an accident and I realised I couldn't cope any more so he's gone into a home. Dementia is really hard on the people having to care for the sufferers and I wish there was more support for them. Wish you well though.

With all due respect OP it sounds like a complete load of patronising bull. It's carers who need a friend, I don't think anyone truly knows the effect this evil disease has on others. It ruins more than one life. I've told my family if I ever get it, don't sit around watching me waste away, mind before body. I'd hate for some overly nice person who had been on a 'course' to come simpler over me. Just my opinion of course.

Learn about it, of course. Raise awareness, raise funds, find a cure. But sitting in a room for an afternoon learning to be sympathetic means nowt to those who are living with the nightmare.

So do you actually befriend someone with dementia?

Itsnotyou you have hit the nail theon the head. Come and be my mum's friend. Visit her a couple of times a week. Do her shopping. Sort out her admin. Take her to numerous hospital visits. Encourage her to eat as she is severely underweight. Find where she has put her keys, phone, tv remote. All while trying to hold down a full time demanding job and living an hour away.

Ceasre, as you watch the person you once knew become distressed, possibly violent, accusing you and others of all sorts, being paranoid, getting lost. The constant anxiety. I watched the videos to these 'dementia friends' just now. I actually laughed, it shows nothing of the reality.

My mum has dementia. I think the dementia friends is a great idea. I think the idea is to train people who will come across people with dementia in their jobs eg shop staff. This can help people with dementia retain their independence for longer.

I totally agree that caring for someone with dementia is very difficult and carers deserve a lot of support. But this doesn't mean that something like the dementia friends project isn't a great idea.

I have been to the dementia friend meeting after caring for my nan who had dementia.
I found the way they explained things very good.

I completely agree there needs to be a lot more done to help carers and sufferers but I think the aim of the course was more to raise awareness.
I came out of the course with information to give to my employer to encourage them to become dementia friends.

I agree about the whole statistic pov but nonetheless raising awareness can never be a bad thing

AntiHop, I don't think the overall idea is bad. Dementia certainly needs more awareness, but having looked at this site and videos, I don't think it gives a full insight into it. And the main issue is, where is the support for carers still? Social services don't want to know. Any support you want, you have to look for it yourself. So many suffer in silence. And once the dementia sufferer has passed away, they have to just pick up and carry on.

I think the Alzheimer's Society is great and this is one of their projects so I can't believe it hasn't been thought through.

It seems to be about supporting people who are able to live fairly independently.

At the same time if we were to take DMIL out to a local cafe for instance it would be nice if people were pleasant and welcoming although she is completely dependant now and not able to communicate conventionally.

I think Antihop is right.
I don't think you'll find anyone who knows the first thing about it, that there is anywhere near enough care or support for carers or people with dementia, but that is another point altogether.
The fact this campaign isn't able to resolve that, doesn't mean it's not a worthwhile thing to do, to raise awareness in the community as a whole.

Agree with the others! What the heck is the point of this programme? Apart from being a load of patronising bull?

So what if you understand dementia better? What difference does that actually make in the life of a dementia sufferer? Are you going to visit someone with dementia? Chat with them, give them company, do anything practical to help? If not, then what's the point?

i can't click the link op I'm really sorry. my father had dementia and i don't have the words to describe how awful it was. For him, for my mother, for me and my dd. We were all destroyed by it. Its not about people forgetting where they left their keys. its about that person being eroded, my lovely lovely dad went to HELL and we were there with him. I prayed every day that i would get the call that he had died. No person deserves to lose every ounce of dignity they had.

I understand that you have done a good thing. I don't understand what you do now? Do you help with care? volunteer to provide respite?

if ever i am diagnosed with dementia i WILL take my own life if i am capable.

I think it's about raising awareness and helping people with dementia in community situations by being aware of possible difficulties.
I think carers needs are a different issue.
Unfortunately with cuts to NHS and Adult Services budgets it is getting harder and harder for carers to get the support they need.
Please do not blame the frontline staff for this, they have to adhere to the guidelines they are given.
It can be really difficult to see people struggling and not be able to alleviate this, however there are staff who will go the extra mile and bend the rules a bit.
Having witnessed many people in my care going through this I do worry for the future when things will get tighter re services

Exactly cocktail queen. I took my mum to a cafe the other day. The owner was perfectly pleasant. He was a nice person obviously and did not need to be a dementia friend to do so. And dementia isn't always obvious and varies so much how are you going to recognise it on the odd occasion you come across it. Sorry if I sound bitter but I bloody well am. I have to fight for everything and social services are a joke.

I volunteer with local search and rescue team, we assist police looking for missing vulnerable people, who often means older people with dementia; we're all volunteers so can't be specialists in all the situations we may come across, but this may just give us that little bit more idea and chance of reacting better if or when we find our misper.

I do understand though that it is VERY different to knowing what it's like to live with a loved one with it, but at least it gives lay people a little bit more of an idea. I won't be signing up though, as pp said, don't want any awful uncaring politician to include me in some vote chasing sound bite!

Dementia is the one of the most cruel diseases.

My lovely DF has it and it is heartbreaking to see this once articulate, intelligent man unable to speak a coherent sentence. He gets confused, can't manage simple tasks and needs to have someone with him at all times as he wanders off. He is happiest at home on the sofa dozing. My mother shoulders the majority of the care, but I help weekly as does my sister. I do worry that my mother, who won't accept any external support, will become ill because of the stress.

I'm happy that he still gets a lot of pleasure from sport and wine. Long may it last.

I had no knowledge or experience of dementia before my nan and even once she was diagnosed we had no support from anyone so the only reason I knew anything about dementia was from what I had researched online. I cared for my nan for 4 years before she passed away from this horrible illness.

im not sure why I went to the dementia friends session but I was glad I did. I learnt a lot about dementia, which I didn't expect. After years of caring for my nan I thought I knew my fair share. But one of the key things I got from the session was that everyone has their own unique journey with dementia. I only knew how the illness affected my nan and I learnt how it can affect other people.

I work with the general public and constantly come into contact with people who have dementia and I think from this session I have perhaps learnt how to spot people who may have dementia and more importantly how to interact with them, because previously I had only known how to interact with my nan, who I had known all my life.

I did the memory walk this year and there were a couple of hundred people, where as the race for life attracts thousands of people. So like I said, any awareness is good in my view

Echoing what others have said, its the carers who need a friend..
My dad has alzheimers and vascular dementia and we have just gone 3 days of him hallucinating and being nasty. He has barely slept and neither have we.
The crisis team dont give a damn. Nobody does and yes we are linked in to all the services.... My dad hates people coming. He just wants mum and I. He's even funny about my brother visiting and my own children being in the house.

Maybe some people benefit but it wouldnt benefit my dad...