to think I might scream the next time someone tells me to rest and put my feet up??

[flippityflip]

Ok might sound a bit weird but I'm expecting DC3 and have had a bit of bleeding recently (I'm in third trimester) and doctors and midwives saying to take it easy, no heavy lifting etc and now family/friends/DH/work etc keep telling me to take it easy but here's the thing, I have two young DCs one toddler and one preschooler.Toddler still in nappies and one nap a day etc. I work part time and planning on working up to 38 weeks as with previous two for job reasons I can't avoid,I have the kids a couple of days a week at home so outside of normal childcare and my job obviously there is also cooking,cleaning etc that still needs done so that nobody starves or gets sick,there is some unavoidable lifting with toddler - in and out of car seat,up and down from naps and a fair amount of physical handling when dealing with nappy changing,getting dressed and the odd tantrum. I have been on the go all day today and if I'm honest with people about what I was doing I get tutted at and told off for doing too much,but when exactly am I meant to be resting and putting my feet up??I'm not scrubbing the floors or baking or doing unnecessary additional things,I'm cleaning up spills,getting snacks,keeping enough stuff off the floor to avoid trips and hospital visits,keeping things hygienic but not spotless by any means,and keeping things tidy enough to be able to find things.I can understand healthcare staff saying it,but really in the case of family/DH/work unless you are taking some of my jobs off me when you say it it would be less annoying to me not to say it. DH says in same breath that I should take it easy,he'll be late in from work and he's got circuits tonight. So when is he suggesting I take it easy today?Family too busy to be able to help (which is fine they have their own lives I don't expect them to be round doing my jobs) but texting in all CAPS saying 'REST, PUT YOUR FEET UP,STOP RUNNING AROUND' etc is making me feel like I'm being told off and is just pissing me off. I know people are well meaning but it's soooo annoying!

So nobody has actually offered to help you? Are you certain you can't stop work? It sounds as though you need to frankly. No matter what. Your health is more important than anything.

Ask them to be precise about risks. Unless they are offering to have your children for you, there's going to be some lifting. So are they saying 'you need to stop all lifting NOW or you are at X risk of these things' in which case you need some serious help (family? partner? stop work, down tools, go to bed?) or are they saying 'we want to sound caring but actually nobody has any idea whether this will help or not' or are they saying 'the worst risk is if you lift from ground level to waist, avoid all of those types of lift'?

Mrstawdry unfortunately not, but I don't mind this so much as the shouty texts and kind of tutting at me about what I'm doing,I feel ok,tired but ok. Which is possibly why DH is less concerned than he could be,he's not coming into a quivering wreck at the end of the day,but then I'd just rather people leave me alone with the disapproving attitude over doing too much.
Babiecakes you sound in much more need than me,that sounds pretty stressful. I do have the help I consider necessary like cover for docs visits etc so don't feel anyone should be doing more,but it's just the being told off I don't like really.I think in your case people could and should be doing more to help,is there a reason your mum or other grandparent can't take your DS for docs visits if not the birth?
Work is a bit of an issue because with my job financial year end is pretty big and my company is likely to be making a lot of staffing cuts over the next year so I have to be as present as possible for a lot of the deadlines coming up so my name is on things etc. Sounds like my priorities are all wrong I know but if I lose my job it is pretty bad news for all of us and it's a desk job so at least there is no lifting involved.
As for which of the three options regarding what the docs say I think it's the second,we want to sound caring but have no idea what will help.Which is fine with the doctors etc I understand they don't want to say nothing but don't have any real solution.I have said about toddler and they have said 'minimise the lifting' which to me means no unnecessary hoiking about but fine to lift when he can't do the task in hand himself ie into out of bath etc.

Also my parents are great and would be there at the drop of a hat if required but I feel they do plenty,though as they're not sending me shouty messages or being really patronising they're not in the line of fire for this rant anyway!

Well... as a starting point, your dh should be doing the housework instead of circuit training... have you tried giving him an actual list of what he needs to get done?