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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to rush to the childminder's house with cream for a flea bite?

21 replies

cathaireverywhere · 18/02/2015 14:58

I'm collecting the kids at 5pm. It's 2.50pm now. Childminder has discovered what looks like a flea bite on 2-year-old (I know - based on my username - you've already got a bad impression of our household...)

So apparently she's scratching it and it looks "quite sore". Cue ten-minute guilt-trip phone call to me (she NEVER interrupts my husband during his working day...) suggesting I should come ASAP with insect bite cream (on the bizarre threat that otherwise she'll put Sudocreme on it...)

Obviously I feel bad that my daughter's been bitten. We flea-treat the cats regularly and they're not allowed in the bedrooms. But I must admit we came back late last night after being away and the cleaner had left the kids' bedroom door open so I don't doubt the poor child's pillow had been cat-napped on.

I do want to relieve DD's discomfort and will obviously change the bedding now... But it is just a flea bite. AIBU to make her wait 2.5 hours before I apply a cream that probably won't make things a lot better anyway? Childminder was evidently pretty disgusted with me...

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/02/2015 15:02

Does sh not have a plaster she could cover it with?

MollieCoddler · 18/02/2015 15:05

Your cm is bonkers and quite sexist. Be sympathetic but invent a work related excuse involving something important. Say your dh might be able to help and suggest she calls him (she won't)

GokTwo · 18/02/2015 15:08

Yanbu. Reminds me of the time the school called me to say Dd had mislaid her lunchbox between the playground and the classroom. Could I please bring her more lunch?!

ThatBloodyWoman · 18/02/2015 15:09

If she can't cope with it,if she were my cm I'd wonder how often I'd ever get a days work done tbh.
She wouldn't be a good fit as my cm tbh.
I'd expect a bit more initiative!

SweetValentine · 18/02/2015 15:09

Yabu I'm sorry but 2.5 hours is a long time to be miserable for. Next time it's the CM why don't you answer and say "I'm busy phone my husband" if you'd rather it that way round?

Gileswithachainsaw · 18/02/2015 15:10

Surely she's got some sudecrem?

ffs if she can't handle an insect bite she's in the wrong job. bites and stings are the risk you take when you let kids in the garden. unless there's an allergy she should be fully equipped fir this.

ThatBloodyWoman · 18/02/2015 15:10

Its a flea bite,not a tiger bite.

Toofat2BtheFly · 18/02/2015 15:11

Tell her to put sudocreme on it then ,it won't make much difference anyway... Insect bite cream stings initially so your DD will be more comfortable with the sudo anyway ..

We had a house full of em last year , little blighters would not be shifted and they just loved my youngest !

Council came and sprayed the house after I'd spent £100's on over the counter stuff ... Touch wood , we're over it now ...

Your cm seems a bit dramatic .. What she gonna do in the summer with all the midges about ? Call you every time ??

JackieTheFart · 18/02/2015 15:11

Miserable? One flea bite? Give over.

YANBU.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 18/02/2015 15:12

Is she sure it isnt the start of chickenpox?...... (always comforting me!)

AmyElliotDunne · 18/02/2015 15:17

Its a flea bite,not a tiger bite.

How does the CM know it's a flea bite? It could be any insect and could well have happened at her house - I'd be indignant that she had fleas in her house and insist she pop out and buy some cream to treat it herself and then look for another CM

Honestly what a fuss about nothing. Paediatric first aid basically teaches us not to put any cream on anything, just water and a plaster if needed. CM is totally over-reacting and as others have said, I'd wonder how capable she is if she thinks this is worth calling a parent for (not to mention calling you instead of DH of course).

Hoppinggreen · 18/02/2015 15:20

When my children get flea bites ( thankfully rarely) I stick sudocrem on anyway.
She needs to get a bloody grip frankly

Original poster

cathaireverywhere · 18/02/2015 15:29

Phew! Thanks for your comments all. Have been feeling increasingly guilty since I said "I think we'll leave it until I collect them". Thank you for the reassurance! CM does overreact a bit. She's very loving and gentle with the kids and they adore her but I couldn't possibly comment on whether you've got her measure (Hoppinggreen, AmyElliotDunne, TooFat2BtheFly, Gileswithachainsaw, Thatbloodywoman and Mollycoddler). Thanks all for your comments.

OP posts:

SqueezyCheeseWeasel · 18/02/2015 15:41

Tell her to give an antihistamine if your Dd is still suffering.

kitchentableagain · 18/02/2015 15:53

YANBU

I might treat a bee or wasp sting with something other than sudocrem, maybe, if I had anything better lying around. But nothing less than that.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 18/02/2015 15:57

My DD got flea bites from my mum's dog at 12 month. All I did was put sudocreme on anyway! YANBU

jendot2 · 18/02/2015 18:28

I am a cm and I would never call a parent about a flea bite.....I think you must be incredibly tolerant I can't even imagine what my parents would say if I started to ring them about something so petty :) now a tiger bite.... That would be worth the call.

Original poster

cathaireverywhere · 18/02/2015 21:12

So I picked her up at the normal time. There were a couple of bites. They were a bit red. Maybe the size of my little fingernail. Not quite a medical emergency. And she wouldn't let me put cream on anyway!

You're all right that our CM is a bit fussy about this sort of thing. We stay with her because 1) she REALLY loves our children - you can't beat having a childminder who you absolutely trust to respond as lovingly as you would (or possibly more so - see case in point!) 2) the kids adore her and, er, 3) we can't find anyone else at all who can collect from my elder daughter's school!

OP posts:

ReallyTired · 18/02/2015 22:17

The childminder is covering her butt from a legal point of view. You need to give her permission to allow her to administer medication. She is not medically qualified. I think that there must be a misunderstanding. I guess she was asking you permission to apply medication. Sudocrem is fine for a flea bite. I imagine she was offering you the chance to provide a different cream. If you don't want to deliver insect cream then tell her to put on sudocrem.

Lovemycatsandkids · 18/02/2015 22:23

Bolliocks.

I am a cm and incidentally highly medically qualified. however It's a flea bite. Ffs what a storm in a tea cup.

Of course she shouldn't have phoned you.

She sounds daft.

Rabbishes · 18/02/2015 22:38

I'm also a childminder and wouldn't have phoned you. This sort of situation is why I have a first aid policy and first aid permission forms signed in advance saying that I have the parents permission to give appropriate OTC treatments if needed (obviously barring any known allergies), I'd only ring if I needed further permissions (for example if I was giving calpol I'd phone to double check they hadn't already had a dose) or if a child was so poorly they needed to be taken home.

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