To ask if anyone has ever successfully sleep trained a 10 month old. Really???

[tinymeteor]

I've always had massive reservations about sleep training, but am finally knackered enough to be considering letting DD cry it out. She's gorgeous all day but I bloody dread nighttimes. Multiple wakings, can't self settle any more, and bedtimes, which have been in a smooth routine since 4 months, are starting to go to hell too. We are entering "something must be done" territory.

But does CIO work when you try it on a strong willed 10mo whose favoured position in the cot is vertical screaming? Or am I going to go through a week of hell that only serves to reinforce her hatred of being put to bed?

(teething powders are your friend!)

Oh yeah, vertical screaming. That brings memories.

My dc was 12m and was not an easy sleeper at all. The first times we did cc, dc would cry on and on and on. There were some times When he finally went to sleep, but still in vertical position, firmly holding the bar of the cot! I had to put him in horizontal position and felt like the worst mum ever.

I can report that he is a great sleeper now :)

mrskoala sorry to hear that, I feel for you. Tired doesn't cover it, does it? Hope you get a solution, agree it would be worth trying the HV if you think he's unable to sleep past 40mins even when exhausted.

We did cc with dd at 10 mths, it did work but definitely wasn't a one night thing. We had 'one night bad three nights good' for a couple of months which was at least better than every night being bad.

We stuck with it though and eventually dd realised it was easier to find one of the many dummies/teddies in her cot herself rather than waking us every hour to do it for her.

Give it a go, try multiples of two minutes to start with, take it in turns to do nights if you can. And drop the night feeds.

Its gets easier when they're toddlers and you can threaten to cancel Saturday iPad time if they don't go to sleep quietly.

Both NEVER put their babies down and openly admit it. They hardly ever go to other people for hugs and both have never left them - even for an hour with someone else!!

Then I have to sit and listen to them complain that their babies seem to whine now they have decided they want to put them down or give them to someone else and that they want to be cuddled whilst they sleep not let in a cot!

Gosh, I really feel for your suffering Crazy off-the-wall idea here, I know, but might there be an eensy teensy possibility that your friends don't put their babies down because their babies whine when they're put down? Or don't leave them with someone else because the babies cry when left with someone else?

I carried mine about everywhere because she cried every time I put her down. Every time. Right from birth. Moses basket got given away practically unused, ideas like shush-pat and drowsy-but-awake were laughable failures - she was either being held or she was screaming, and I do not mean grizzling a bit, I mean full-on red-faced screaming. I cannot tell you how much I envied my friends whose babies could be put down in cots or prams or playmats, or how frustrating it was to have people with easier babies than me suggest that it was my own fault DD was the way she was.

People whose babies have been sleeping through on their own since they were 6 weeks: that is lovely for you, but that is not actually down to your superior parenting skills, honestly it isn't. It is not exactly helpful to tell the mother of a non-sleeping 10 month old how your baby slept through from a young age because you did everything right from the beginning.

I was coming on to say Blazing88's first paragraph. Probably not a popular opinion here but if she's getting on fine with solids I don't think anymore night feeds are needed.

I did a version of CC when DD was 6 mo and she has slept 13 hours a night most nights since. I'm sure you have done nothing to make your DD like this. Some babies sleep, some need a gentle nudge to do so, other need more convincing still. They just come out that way. With DD it took a week of getting her to settle to sleep on her own, using the blankie, patting and shushing and gradual retreat, then the next week tackling the night wakings with CC. It was pretty awful for two nights but then it got quickly better, until by the end of that second week, she slept all night.

I would still give a last feed in the evening, but I would not do it in her room in the dark. I did what you are doing with DD, but after a lot of reading, I decided I had to end the association of feeding with sleeping. Last feed happened in the living room, then I would take her to her room and settle her into her cot and say goodnight. This is still what I do now she is 2 (only it's a cup of cows milk instead of a bf now).

I can't think of anything else that you haven't tried I'm afraid. DD didn't care for her blankie at first either, but I was bloody desperate and persisted with it and she now adores all her many blankies and they have been a great sleep cue. I would do CC rather than CIO if I were you and if you do decide to do it, just make the decision that you are going to stick it out and be more determined than she is because you know what's best for her. And have waiting for you.

Good luck.

Aaaaanyway. OP: I would not do CIO with a 10mo who is used to frequent contact with you at night and is dealing with separation anxiety. It is likely to result in a whole lot more screaming and stress. Did her crappy sleep start around 8/9 months by any chance? It is prime sleep regression territory, which is hell in itself but at least is usually a phase that will pass.

In your position, if I was going to try sleep training I would probably try sleep training methods that involved not leaving the room - No-Cry Sleep Solution, or the one (Sleep Lady?) where you stay by the cot to start with, and gradually get closer and closer to the door. That way you don't have to deal with the separation anxiety stress, but you can still work on getting her to sleep more independently.

(That said, for my own baby I was going to do No-Cry Sleep Solution to get through the 9-month regression but was too lazy never got round to it, and she seemed to get through it on her own and now mostly settles herself back to sleep when she wakes. We cosleep though and she still wakes 3/4 times a night, so not everybody's idea of great sleep - I'm just rolling with what seems to work best for me and for her at the moment.)

Like your DD tiny ds2 has had a series of 'illnesses', colds, teething, now reflux etc. And we co sleep as getting up and picking him up is breaking my back.

Like others my ds1 - altho a bugger to actually get to sleep still - slept thru from 4mo, and before that only ever woke twice a night and never cried. So this is a shock to the system.

i bought the no cry sleep solution fir ds1 but it doesn't work for co-sleepers. and Ds2 cries even when he's in my arms, let alone if i left him in a cot!

Hi OP - my son was very demanding with sleeping (wouldn't nap after 3 weeks) and woke frequently. At 3 months I did PU/PD which helped with daytime sleep. At 7 months I used CC - which took about 3 nights. There have been a couple of blips with disturbances caused by travelling or growth spurts, but the quicker I go back to CC, the quicker he is back into proper sleeping again. (He's 2 now).

If you've tried CC, then I get CIO is the next step (I think the 'father' of this method is called Dr Weissbluth and he calls it the Extinction method). It might be quite a shock to the system for your DD at this age though, esp as she's used to your presence.

I must admit to having sacrificed social life and classes/groups because of sticking to his routine though and I think it has helped in the long term - for everyone's sanity!

DD sleep regressed over Christmas after a catalogue of shitty illnesses.

We moved her into her own room and did controlled crying.

Put her down, tuck her in and gently shush her, leave. Wait two minutes, go back in, gently shush her and tuck back in, leave. Wait four minutes, go back in, do same. Then wait eight minutes, then 16, etc.

DD never made it to the end of the 16 minute stretch. She'd always pass out tired before the time was up.

I reckon it took about a week of being really strict with that routine (worst week ever - so tired!) but now she's sleeping fine.

I hired the services of a sleep trainer when my middle baby was 10 months old. She used gentle methods to encourage good sleep habits. It was the best money I ever, ever spent. I could cry now thinking how desperate we were, and how much better things got. I didn't want to do controlled crying (though was so tired I would have tried anything). But this was a great middle way for us. Our DD was cross, but always comforted and never left to it.
If you can afford it (a big if. We paid about £150 for a remote service) I would wholeheartedly recommend.

I supose the good news is that you are "doing all the right things" re a (flexible) routine so you cant be far off getting through the night.
At 10 months no more night feeds - if you can crack this next I reckon you will be onto a winner.

Is there not a sleep regression about 9 months as well which might be having an effect? Also if you have just gone back to work there might be a seperation thing going on too.

I do completely agree that is must seem overwhelming - from where you are know how will she EVER sleep through!
Get a window when she is not ill (hollow laugh) and stop feeding, try some of the patting techniques to settle, before gentle pushing into a CIO (if you want) that should only take a few nights at most (any longer and baby isnt ready to CIO).

(For info, I am magic at sleep advice, when it comes to giving birth to children that will eat anything that isnt a dairy product, not so hot......)

Hi again OP - can't write long post but strongly second the opinion that night feeds might need to stop. I bf til nearly 10 months and I firmly believe that ds woke for that and comfort. HV said as long as you bf during the night a baby won't sleep through. I'm not sure if I agree but it was correct in my case. I stopped bf and did gradual retreat, it worked!!!

Sleep training worked for us but it's not easy. Dd was around nine months. I read the baby sleep whisper and it helped a bit. I spent a lot of the time sat out of the room just out of eye sight going in every few mins.

The trouble with our df was actually going the whole night which she has fully just got out of at 20 months.

However getting her to sleep anywhere else than her cot and we are buggered,

Good luck

Although we gave up feeding ds at night at 7 months he still didn't sleep through. We tried gentle form of CIO - going back in at intervals many times and it never worked. Ds only slept through when he moved to big bed at 19 months.
Basically he preferred standing and screaming - I never even got him to lie down - stubborn mite. He just stayed awake once until 1 am when I gave up and cuddled him to sleep!
I always find it hilarious when people say they needed their sleep so baby slept. I need my sleep - I am a wreck without it. But ds just wanted to be with us and had huge separation anxiety I think

Aaarrrggghhh.

Me. I did. Start by establishing a routine if you haven't already got one. We did bath, quiet time downstairs (put music on or read stories). Took dd upstairs and put her in a grobag. Gave her a bottle of milk, read a story, cuddles, lay her down, kiss goodnight and then leave the room. She would then get up and cry. I then went back in, shushed her, lay her down and left the room. I never left for longer than one minute and went back in every time she cried. I lay her down, kissed her each time. The first time it took 2 hours. By the end of the first week we had it down to 10 minutes, a few days after that, no crying at all. I couldn't leave her crying. I started by counting to ten before going back in. I never, ever left her for longer than a minute. I think it taught her that when she cries, mummy comes back. But, it was bedtime and she wouldn't get to go back downstairs just because she cried. Worked wonders for us.

Oh, and she had milk through the night until she was almost 2. We never had an issue with her resettling though.

Sleep training worked for us. DS was 11 months and waking up every 2 hours. It was absolutely miserable and we went into the Something Must Be Done phase when I became poorly with morning sickness and just couldn't cope with the night wakings. I'd already got ds self settling for naps at around 8 months (this took 3 weeks of up and down the bloody stairs resettling him) so I knew he could go to sleep on his own.
At 11 months we night weaned him. Just stopped giving milk but picked him up and rocked/cuddled him instead. After a week or so we did a version of cc. Ds would wake, I'd go into the nursery, say nothing, lay him back down and then leave. Wait 1 minute then repeat. Wait 2 minutes then repeat again to 5 minutes. When he didn't settle after 5 minutes I stayed in the room (we have a bed in the nursery) and just said "sleep time now" every 5-6 minutes. That first night it took 2 hours for him to go back to sleep. Second night 20 minutes. Third night he slept through.
I'd always said I'd never leave my baby to cry but 6 months of so many night wakings and being pregnant just pushed me over into it. It wasn't as bad as i thought. Don't get me wrong the first night was horrible but it felt better just doing something, feeling like instead of just re inforcing the waking habits we were starting to improve it.

Reading with interest - both my girls slept through the night without a problem, one from 6 weeks the other at 8 weeks. At 10 months DS is waking at least twice a night to be fed, drinking a bottle of milk and going straight back to sleep. Have tried a couple of nights not feeding and offering water instead, shushing, back patting etc only to be faced with red-faced screaming until DH cracked and gave him milk, straight to sleep then of course!
How do you get to 'drop' these night feeds? I'd love to know!!!

I was in a living nightmare with my 8m/o DS - I can't even put into words how unhappy and desperate I was due to all the issues we had surrounding his sleep. I physically and mentally couldn't cope anymore.

I enlisted the help and support of a sleep specialist and she turned my life around. Within 3-4 nights all our sleep problems were over and I was lifted out of a very dark space.

Me and my DH did CC not CIO.

We did the training about 8 weeks ago and things have been perfect ever since.

Did cc for both of mine. DS1 at 7 months; took 2 nights and he's slept through ever since, DS2 was a little more stubborn; took 2 nights also but regressed every so often and so repeated.

Dd dropped her night feeds by herself. DD was on the 25th centile having been born on the 75th. Imo, she woke for milk because she needed it. She only woke twice and went straight back to sleep after so I didn't fight it. She reduced down to one feed before giving it up all together.

We did the sleep training set out in this thread. I didn't think it'd work but it was miraculous.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps?msgid=46210246

It sounds like you are doing most of the right things tbh op is she teething?

It sounds like she wants to go to sleep but something is waking her.

Things that helped my dd to settle at bedtime was a fixed routine, bath, pjs, milk etc, having a night light and having some soothing music on and sleeping in the baby sleeping bags.

I did some controlled crying where by if she started to cry once I left the room I waited 5 mins before going back in, would reassure but avoid picking up if possible, would then leave again and repeat every 5 - 10 mins. If the crying became hysterical I would pick up and comfort for a few mins and then put back, if she hadn't settled after 40mins or so I would assume she may be in pain and would try teething powder and sometimes calpol.